When I got back from Mexico, my fears came
true. I began the next chapter of my life, which I had decided was going to be
amazing. It turned out that it was anything but amazing. I worked odd shifts
and most weekends, which didn’t leave much time to help people, spend time with
my friends or my beloved George. I didn’t make new friends at the factory. There
was a noticeable divide between the temps and the full-timers, and I got very
depressed.
All I did was work, sleep, and watch
telenovelas. After I had saved enough money, I bought my very own car. I often
went on road trips to nowhere and hung out with myself. At the time, I thought
that that was terrible, but it was time well spent. I learned a lot about
myself. I learned that I am a person who is fine on her own and needs to spend
time alone but also needs to connect with people. I realized that the reason I
felt so empty was because I wasn’t capable of connecting with the car parts I
was assembling at the factory seven days a week, seven hours a day.
During that time, my thoughts were always
in Mexico. When my nightmares about windmills yelling at me while I was
drowning on my way to Posen Land came back again, I knew that I had to change
jobs. But I hung in there until the temp agency laid me off. I decided that I
needed a fresh start, time to figure it all out, again. So I gave up my
apartment, packed what fit in my car and drove to Mexico.
I spent three months in Mexico living with
my parents. Mexico had undergone a lot of changes, thanks to a new government. By
that time, most members of the colony had forgotten that they had once rejected
me and didn’t seem to care one way or the other how I dressed, or what I was up
to, for that matter.
Aaron Neudorf had vanished into thin air.
El Guero and his crew had left Durango and moved on to another part of Mexico.
Once in a while, I ran into one of El Guero’s bodyguards, who seemed to be the
only one who was still living in Nuevo Ideal. He always acknowledged me with
his typical cowboy head nod, saying, “Guerita!”
when he saw me.
I spent time at an internet cafe in Nuevo
Ideal, and learned computers while staying in touch with George, Josh, and occasionally
Kristina and Sam via email.
I spent a lot of alone time in the
mountains. I visited with Irma and the Bueckert girls once in a while but other
than that I helped mom around the house. After a while, my thoughts went back
to Canada, and when I acknowledged what my life would be like if I stayed in
Mexico, I decided to go back to Canada. This time I had no problem finding
work, but I made interpreting as a volunteer my priority, and soon realized
that I had found my calling. After my first interpreting gig for the police,
they offered me a job and training, specifically for police and court
interpreting. In addition to that, I began to volunteer as an interpreter for
childcare providers at a health center that ran programs for Low German-speaking
Mennonites. Within a couple of years that turned into a part-time job as a Low
German peer worker, and eventually turned into a full-time position as a Low
German health worker.
Every morning I would wake up in disbelief
that I was getting paid to connect and build relationships with both the
“Dietsch” and the “non-Dietsch.” I worked and connected with incredible people
every single day. I received nothing but compliments and much praise for the
work that I did on a daily basis. My supervisor often said, “Anna, I think you
should go back to school for social work.”
I resisted the idea. “But I already have
the best job in the world, and besides, I think I’m too old now anyway,” I most
often replied.
“Nonsense,” she would say. “I went back to
school in my forties.”
I often thought, “Man, these people go to
school forever!”
After ten-plus years of working, taking
courses here and there that were required for certain jobs, I reached my limit
on promotions. I finally decided to take a chance and apply to go to college.
I had no more doubts about what I wanted to
do. I had years of experience under my belt, and I was ready for a new
adventure when I decided that it was time to go to college and earn the certificate
to make it official.
Nineteen years after finishing my OSSD,
twenty-some trips back to Mexico, and many adventures later, while relying heavily
on technology to do all my writing, I finally applied to the Social Service
Worker program at Conestoga College.
I was invited to bring my resume to an
information session at the college, where I learned that they had received five
hundred applications for that particular program, but only had seventy-five
spots. Just sitting in that crowd listening to the professor tell us to
handwrite a short essay about why we wanted to be in the program was enough to
send me into the worse panic attack I had ever experienced. In spite of my lack
of practiced handwriting, I wrote what I could, but I was sure it was terrible.
I drove home feeling awful about myself, thinking that I was the biggest loser
for even thinking that I could contribute or be part of such a group.
During the weeks that followed, I spent
time thinking of other opportunities I might explore to keep moving forward. Finally,
five weeks later, I received that dreaded envelope that I was sure was going to
say, “Sorry, Anna! Nice try!” It didn’t. Instead, it said, “Congratulations! We
are pleased to offer you acceptance to the Social Service Worker program.”
I was beside myself. I took a picture of
the letter and sent it to my favorite person, whom I had confided in during the
wait, and asked, “What does this even mean?”
“You're going to college, Anna!!!! Didn't I
tell you? What will it take for you to believe in yourself?”
“Holy shit!” was all that fell out of my
mouth.
When I told Mom the news, she asked, “Why?”
“Because this is what I want to do, and I
will make more money when I am done.”
“Okay,” she replied.
Thanks to an army of incredible role models
who, ironically, happen to be mostly men who have crossed my path, believed in
me, and made me recognize my potential, I am going to college. It’s a full-time
program, and I’m starting this fall. That won't leave me much time to blog, and
that’s why I will have to leave you here for now.
I will be posting mostly on Instagram.
If you wish to follow me.
Thank you for reading and stay tuned.
