tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50327719192308394172024-02-08T00:44:19.705-05:00MennopolitanThis blog is based on my experiences growing up as an Old Colony Mennonite in Durango Mexico.Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05633106090296282842noreply@blogger.comBlogger181125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5032771919230839417.post-75274406761343383002019-05-30T08:34:00.002-04:002021-12-29T22:00:02.508-05:00Congratulations to Me!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">When I got back from Mexico, my fears came
true. I began the next chapter of my life, which I had decided was going to be
amazing. It turned out that it was anything but amazing. I worked odd shifts
and most weekends, which didn’t leave much time to help people, spend time with
my friends or my beloved George. I didn’t make new friends at the factory. There
was a noticeable divide between the temps and the full-timers, and I got very
depressed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-no-proof: yes;">All I did was work, sleep, and watch
telenovelas. After I had saved enough money, I bought my very own car. I often
went on road trips to nowhere and hung out with myself. At the time, I thought
that that was terrible, but it was time well spent. I learned a lot about
myself. I learned that I am a person who is fine on her own and needs to spend
time alone but also needs to connect with people. I realized that the reason I
felt so empty was because I wasn’t capable of connecting with the car parts I
was assembling at the factory seven days a week, seven hours a day. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-no-proof: yes;">During that time, my thoughts were always
in Mexico. When my nightmares about windmills yelling at me while I was
drowning on my way to Posen Land came back again, I knew that I had to change
jobs. But I hung in there until the temp agency laid me off. I decided that I
needed a fresh start, time to figure it all out, again. So I gave up my
apartment, packed what fit in my car and drove to Mexico. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-no-proof: yes;">I spent three months in Mexico living with
my parents. Mexico had undergone a lot of changes, thanks to a new government. By
that time, most members of the colony had forgotten that they had once rejected
me and didn’t seem to care one way or the other how I dressed, or what I was up
to, for that matter. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-no-proof: yes;">Aaron Neudorf had vanished into thin air.
El Guero and his crew had left Durango and moved on to another part of Mexico.
Once in a while, I ran into one of El Guero’s bodyguards, who seemed to be the
only one who was still living in Nuevo Ideal. He always acknowledged me with
his typical cowboy head nod, saying, “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Guerita!</i>”
when he saw me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-no-proof: yes;">I spent time at an internet cafe in Nuevo
Ideal, and learned computers while staying in touch with George, Josh, and occasionally
Kristina and Sam via email.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-no-proof: yes;">I spent a lot of alone time in the
mountains. I visited with Irma and the Bueckert girls once in a while but other
than that I helped mom around the house. After a while, my thoughts went back
to Canada, and when I acknowledged what my life would be like if I stayed in
Mexico, I decided to go back to Canada. This time I had no problem finding
work, but I made interpreting as a volunteer my priority, and soon realized
that I had found my calling. After my first interpreting gig for the police,
they offered me a job and training, specifically for police and court
interpreting. In addition to that, I began to volunteer as an interpreter for
childcare providers at a health center that ran programs for Low German-speaking
Mennonites. Within a couple of years that turned into a part-time job as a Low
German peer worker, and eventually turned into a full-time position as a Low
German health worker. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-no-proof: yes;">Every morning I would wake up in disbelief
that I was getting paid to connect and build relationships with both the
“Dietsch” and the “non-Dietsch.” I worked and connected with incredible people
every single day. I received nothing but compliments and much praise for the
work that I did on a daily basis. My supervisor often said, “Anna, I think you
should go back to school for social work.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-no-proof: yes;">I resisted the idea. “But I already have
the best job in the world, and besides, I think I’m too old now anyway,” I most
often replied.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-no-proof: yes;">“Nonsense,” she would say. “I went back to
school in my forties.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-no-proof: yes;">I often thought, “Man, these people go to
school forever!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-no-proof: yes;">After ten-plus years of working, taking
courses here and there that were required for certain jobs, I reached my limit
on promotions. I finally decided to take a chance and apply to go to college. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-no-proof: yes;">I had no more doubts about what I wanted to
do. I had years of experience under my belt, and I was ready for a new
adventure when I decided that it was time to go to college and earn the certificate
to make it official.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-no-proof: yes;">Nineteen years after finishing my OSSD,
twenty-some trips back to Mexico, and many adventures later, while relying heavily
on technology to do all my writing, I finally applied to the Social Service
Worker program at Conestoga College. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-no-proof: yes;">I was invited to bring my resume to an
information session at the college, where I learned that they had received five
hundred applications for that particular program, but only had seventy-five
spots. Just sitting in that crowd listening to the professor tell us to
handwrite a short essay about why we wanted to be in the program was enough to
send me into the worse panic attack I had ever experienced. In spite of my lack
of practiced handwriting, I wrote what I could, but I was sure it was terrible.
I drove home feeling awful about myself, thinking that I was the biggest loser
for even thinking that I could contribute or be part of such a group.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-no-proof: yes;">During the weeks that followed, I spent
time thinking of other opportunities I might explore to keep moving forward. Finally,
five weeks later, I received that dreaded envelope that I was sure was going to
say, “Sorry, Anna! Nice try!” It didn’t. Instead, it said, “Congratulations! We
are pleased to offer you acceptance to the Social Service Worker program.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-no-proof: yes;">I was beside myself. I took a picture of
the letter and sent it to my favorite person, whom I had confided in during the
wait, and asked, “What does this even mean?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-no-proof: yes;">“You're going to college, Anna!!!! Didn't I
tell you? What will it take for you to believe in yourself?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-no-proof: yes;">“Holy shit!” was all that fell out of my
mouth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-no-proof: yes;">When I told Mom the news, she asked, “Why?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-no-proof: yes;">“Because this is what I want to do, and I
will make more money when I am done.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-no-proof: yes;">“Okay,” she replied.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-no-proof: yes;">Thanks to an army of incredible role models
who, ironically, happen to be mostly men who have crossed my path, believed in
me, and made me recognize my potential, I am going to college. It’s a full-time
program, and I’m starting this fall. That won't leave me much time to blog, and
that’s why I will have to leave you here for now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-no-proof: yes;">I will be posting mostly on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/oba_onna/" target="_blank">Instagram</a>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/oba_onna/">https://www.instagram.com/oba_onna/</a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">If you wish to follow me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-no-proof: yes;">Thank you for reading and stay tuned. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05633106090296282842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5032771919230839417.post-66642453573889496202019-05-23T09:03:00.002-04:002021-12-29T22:27:18.532-05:00Outlandish Mennonite<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Continued from <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2019/05/the-girlfriend.html">The Girlfriend<o:p></o:p></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">When I opened the door, George had a
similar reaction at the sight of me as he did when he saw me in my purple
dress.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Holy shit, Anna—you, you, look, I mean you
are beautiful! Wow!” he said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“I would say all kinds of things to the contrary,
but you see, I have this amazing friend who taught me to say ‘Thank you’ when
receiving compliments such as these.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">As he walked toward me, he said, “Hmmm, I
wonder who this amazing friend might be,” and gently wrapped his arms around me,
pulling me against his body.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I invited him in and proceeded to tell him
that my imaginary gay husband had gone shopping with me and chose the outfit
for me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Oh, Anna, are you still dreaming about
that?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, especially after this weekend. I just
love him so much.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“I know.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“He is so good to me, he accepts me as I
am, and expects nothing in return. Do you know how rare that is?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, I do. I understand perfectly. I’m not
surprised that you have such a strong connection with Josh.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I just stared at him as he continued, “I am
happy for you, and I feel honored to have had the pleasure to watch you grow
into this healthy, strong, beautiful young woman I see in front of me.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Thank you,” I said, while briefly allowing
myself to enjoy the feeling of my butterflies traveling down my body to my
toes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“You’re welcome, sweetie,” he said and
winked at me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">That was the most beautiful moment I had
experienced in the presence of a straight man. I held on as long as I could,
until I had to find a way to distract myself so that I could maintain control
of my actions. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Can you believe this?” I asked as I handed
him my report card.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, I can.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is not surprising to me at all. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew you had it in you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Thanks for believing in me and encouraging
me to go to school. I am so close to finishing. I only have one semester left.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“I know, isn't it amazing?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“It sure is.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“What are you going to do after you finish
school?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Look for a job immediately. Do you think I
could apply where you are working?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“You could, but I think that would be a big
mistake.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Why?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Because I think you should keep going and
go to college right away.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“I would love to, but first of all, I don’t
think I could do it, and second, I don’t even know what I would study, and third,
I have no money. I need to work to support myself.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“That’s a load of crap. You can so do it,
and you could apply for OSAP.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Mabe one day I might apply to go to
college, but they probably won't even let me in if they find out that I started
kindergarten at the age of nineteen, and besides, my handwriting is still
terrible. It's going to take me years of practice to get better at it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Stop talking like that, Anna. Do you even
know how far you have come in such a short amount of time? You are an
unstoppable force, Anna Wall. You can do anything! I wish you could see that!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Thank you! I must admit I am afraid that I
will get depressed again after I am done school and get back to working some
meaningless job. I am terrified that I will lose everything that I have worked
so hard for.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“But you know how not to let that happen,
right?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Before I had a chance to come up with an
answer, my phone rang, and it was Mom. “I’ll talk to you later in the week,”
whispered George as he let himself out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Mom sounded happy while she told me that
she was hearing from multiple people in the colony about how I was helping people
everywhere and how grateful they were for what I was doing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“That’s so good to hear. I’m so glad. Thank
you for telling me that.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Dots
goat</i>. (That’s good.) Your aunt is no longer angry with you or giving me a
hard time about you. When she heard how you have been helping people, she said
we do need brave people like you. She just doesn’t understand why you are so <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Utlaundtch</i> (Outlandish).” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I did a little inner happy dance as I
thought, “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Utlaundtch</i>? Now that I can
work with! But wait! I might have to read the English definition of
‘outlandish’ in the dictionary first.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">She never even mentioned a “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">schwiennoagel”</i> or anything. She shared
with me how much easier life in the colony was becoming since they had
electricity in their homes, and the fact that church leaders from La Honda Zacatecas
had come to hold church regularly again. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">She told me that she was no longer that
concerned about me going to public school in Canada anymore, since my brothers
were getting older and not listening and often leaving the colony. “They are
spending so much time with Mexican people, and half the time, we have no idea
where they are or what they are doing.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“I’m sorry,” I said in English, because it
loses its meaning when you say it in Low German. And continued in Low German,
“That must be hard for you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, it is.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“I have three months of school left, and
then I am done.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay,” she responded and asked when I
might come home again. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“I would love to come home again soon, but
that will all depend on how quickly I get a job after I’m done school.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, I have to go now. We’ll talk again
soon,” she said and hung up the phone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I sat down on the floor and spent a moment
thinking about the fact that I wasn’t feeling the guilt I had always felt after
speaking with Mom. I pondered the idea that the new Anna could be capable of
turning her energy toward loving Mom. The feelings were deeper than I had ever
before allowed myself to experience, thanks to the influences that had brought
me to that moment.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">By my last semester, I had figured out my
learning style, and because of that, it was my best semester. I enjoyed every
minute of it and was sad that it was coming to an end.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">During a weekend with Josh, I opened up to
him about my feelings for George.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“You love him, don’t you?” asked Josh.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes! How could I not?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yeah, that was a stupid question.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“What do you think, Josh. Should I tell
George that I’m in love with him?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“I think that has gone beyond words.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“True.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“George knows and feels that you love him.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Really?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Anna, it's so obvious.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Oh, shit!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“No, no. It's not a bad thing.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">The tears started rolling down my cheeks. Josh
turned to me and cupped my face with his gentle, soft hands and said, “Anna, I
have gotten to know you really well, and I am very good at reading between the
lines. I think you have a lot of stuff to work through before you are ready for
a serious relationship. I’m just telling you what I see. I mean, do you even
know what you want in a relationship?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“No.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“You have the most beautiful thing going
with George. Why put boundaries and labels on that? More often than not, that’s
when relationships become complicated and often get ruined. Love should be free
like yours is; that’s how it can grow so strong that nothing can ever break it.
That’s just what I have learned. I say go on loving him as you have been, at
least until you are absolutely sure of what it is that you want.</span>”<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">When he saw that my tears had become a
stream, he hugged me and said, “I’m sorry that this hurts you, Anna. I’m only
telling you because I know about this, and I care about you. I'm watching you
change faster than a jet can fly, and don’t get me wrong, it’s all very good—you
of all people need that time to fly free and discover yourself, then let the
dust settle with yourself first.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“It's okay. I'm only crying because you are
right. I am not ready at all. I have no idea what I want. I think I have
figured it all out, but I know that I have only collected the tools necessary
to work through my issues. I am still so trapped between two worlds, and until
I can fully surrender to becoming one with both, I don't know what I want. But
he's just so, so, so...”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I think you are looking for the word, “Exquisite.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“I know, right? Too bad he's straight.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Ummm…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Just kidding.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Well, that’s why I want to trap him before
someone else does.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Anna, never ever trap him. Let what you
have with him fly free, and it will always be exquisite. You are so lucky that
he landed in your life as he did. I wouldn’t change a thing. He will be that in
your life until you change it. And who knows where you'll end up when you have
had a chance to blossom into your full potential.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“I’m not sure what you just said, but it’s
beautiful.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Right?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Oh, man! You are the best. I’m so glad I
talked to you about this. Thanks, I feel so much lighter now.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“I’m so glad, and you’re welcome.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“I love you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“I love you too, Anna.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I took Josh’s advice to heart and cherished
each moment I spent with George even more after that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I applied for a factory job at a temp
service halfway through my last semester. I had an interview two weeks before
final exams and accepted a job offer. I was to start a month after finishing
school. During final exam week, my cousin Izaak surprised me with his
appearance at my doorstep.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Primo!</i>”
I screamed as I hugged him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“It's so good to see you, Anna.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“You too, Izaak. What are you doing here?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Well, dropped off some <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">menones</i> (Mennonites), and I’m here to
offer you a free ride to Mexico. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ha
li dietschjat!</i> What?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“What do you say, wanna drop everything
you’re doing and go on an adventure with me?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes! Yes, I do! Wait! You mean like right
now?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“But I have one more exam to write before
I'm done school. Can you wait until tomorrow?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Sure, yes, of course, I’ll wait.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I was bursting with excitement. I didn’t know
what to do with myself after Izaak left, so I visited George. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“I have one exam left. Can you believe it?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, I can, Anna!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“I can’t.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Well, you better start because it's true.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“I am so happy!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“I am happy that you're happy! You so
deserve this happiness,” he said, and hugged me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I told him about the opportunity I had, and
almost felt like I needed permission from him to go to Mexico with Izaak. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">George was thrilled for me. He hugged me again
and said, “Holy shit! That’s awesome, Anna. I’m so jealous.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I hugged him back and asked, “Hey, you wanna
come?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“That would be so f#cking awesome, but I
can't take time off work right now.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, maybe another time.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Absolutely! I would love to go to Mexico
with you,” he said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, I’ll see you when I get back.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Sounds good. I’ll be here doing the same
thing as I have been my whole life. F#ck! My life is boring,” he said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">After handing in my final exam, I hugged
every one of my teachers and told them that I would be forever grateful for the
gifts of their time and patience that it took to be my teacher. I felt I owed my
freedom to them. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“You don’t owe us anything. You did all the
work. You take full credit for that, Anna,” one of my teachers said and
continued, “You can pick up your final report card in two days.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Would it be okay if you mailed it to me?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Sure.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Can I call you in a couple of days to ask
what my final mark is over the phone? I am leaving for Mexico later today, but
I will be dying to know if I passed.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Anna, there’s no need for you to call me.
You passed with flying colours!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“I did?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, you did!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“So, this is it?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“This is it, Anna.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“That’s it? I did it? I’m done?” I yelled.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, you did it, you are done, and I’m
very proud of you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Thank you!” I said and hugged her again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“I don’t know what to do with myself right
now!” I explained.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Go on. Get out of here, go to Mexico and
celebrate. You deserve it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Thank you! I will. Okay, bye,” I said and ran
home. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I packed my bags and a pile of books
instead of knives this time. I called the house that I cleaned and left a
message that I would be away for a while. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Izaak drove, and when he didn’t talk, I
read. I felt like I had made it. </span><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;">I felt as free as a bird. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">Click </span><a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2019/05/congratulations-to-me.html" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">here</a><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif;"> to
continue reading my story.</span></span></div><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWlAsNZHqgHFkEaq5JpG1emhx44PvF65JRwTSLEsSooaU6kb8DfyuRBxjkxZiCQkqTJWBhBVHLTdIX2bUI1QSmvF9y7ZidYkCV9rAnSfTVyiLXHL-4KWzh8wL14UNz_2-oK8swUd7SDo8/s1600/0215.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWlAsNZHqgHFkEaq5JpG1emhx44PvF65JRwTSLEsSooaU6kb8DfyuRBxjkxZiCQkqTJWBhBVHLTdIX2bUI1QSmvF9y7ZidYkCV9rAnSfTVyiLXHL-4KWzh8wL14UNz_2-oK8swUd7SDo8/s320/0215.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">“Nobody is </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">superior, nobody </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">is inferior, </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">but nobody is </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">equal either. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">People are simply </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">unique, </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">incomparable. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">You are you, </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif";">I am I.” Osho<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05633106090296282842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5032771919230839417.post-41859201822838622692019-05-02T20:06:00.000-04:002019-05-23T09:07:37.103-04:00The Girlfriend<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Continued from </span><a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2019/04/changing-mennonite.html" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">Changing Mennonite</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I opened my eyes, I saw my “girlfriend” Tony standing
there. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Tony!” I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“May I sit beside you?” she asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, you may.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Thanks, I was hoping you would be in my class again. How
are things? How’s the cleaning job?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“The job is going good. Do you want it back yet?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Heavens no! I’m never taking on a job like that again.
Scrubbing other people’s shit off their toilets is not what I desire to do at
all.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, I haven't seen you here in a while. Where have you
been?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I dropped out again, but here I am, and I f#king hate
school. I can't wait for this semester to be over so I can move away from
here.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Really? Where are you moving to?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Someplace where there are more gay people, and since you
are my girlfriend, you wanna come with me?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Ummm…” I muttered as I turned red like a tomato while I
cleared my throat. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Well, what do you say, honey? You wanna come with me and
let me show you the ropes?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I am not sure what that means.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I know, and that’s why it’ll be amazing. I will teach you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Ummm, but I’m just getting used to this place, and besides,
I think I'm okay now. I'm not that afraid of men anymore. I think we can break
up now.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“No, no, no! Don’t say that, Anna. Men are assholes, and as
long as you are my girlfriend you are protected, and besides, we don’t need
them.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Ummm, no, they're not all assholes. I have been thinking
about that a lot lately. I have met many amazing men. It's not fair that we let
a few assholes ruin all of our opportunities to decide for ourselves who we
choose to connect with. Maybe we don’t need them, but it’s still okay to want
them in our lives, isn’t it?” I said. “I mean, I am not that good at expressing
my thoughts with English-only words, but doesn't that feel like we are just
giving them even more power over us?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“NO!” she replied.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I didn’t want to be hateful anymore, especially because I
was choosing to move past the many years I spent being terrified of Aaron
Neudorf. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I couldn't continue to agree with her, because I realized
that I had expected all men to treat me as Aaron had treated me all those years,
and I recognized that I had played a part in allowing that to happen. I was
ready to take control of my actions. I decided that this might be a more appropriate
opportunity for me to practice standing my ground on my discoveries than when facing
border patrol officers with knives in my backpack.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Wow, Anna, you have changed.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, I have.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“What happened?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Well, I went to Mexico all by myself, and everywhere I went
there was a handsome man who was nothing but helpful and kind to me. I have had
an amazing role model—or many, for that matter—and I think I have matured and
learned that sometimes good men and women do bad things and hurt people. But if
we are going to be judgmental and hateful how will that ever change? I think I
can stand on my own two feet now. I have decided on how I am going to treat
people, all people. Or, I am starting not to look at people as “men” or “women”;
I am choosing to look at them as human beings. We all have stories and reasons
for being the way we are, and because of that I simply cannot choose a team. I
want to be on all teams. The human team!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was overwhelmed with fear of what would become of our
friendship after sharing my thoughts with her. I was shaking from head to toe,
and quickly added, “Is that okay with you? Can you handle that?” bracing myself
for what I had coming. I expected her to take my new-found convictions from me,
because I knew that I wasn’t strong enough to stick to them, even though I felt
brave enough to express them to her. I was still vulnerable, because deep down
inside I doubted myself very much. But she didn’t. Instead, she said, “Wow,
Anna, you do have a good argument there. Good for you, girlfriend, I’m happy
for you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Thank you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You're welcome. I have a long way to go before I can
forgive what has been done to me,” she explained.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I can’t even imagine what you have been through, and I
probably can’t help you, but I can listen if you ever want to tell me more
about it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, stop it, Anna, you are going to make me cry.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I hugged her, and she became my best sister from another
mister. I spent many weekends at Club Sins with her and my gay “husband,” Josh.
During that time I learned the term “confidence booster.” Apparently, that’s
what I was to Tony. The men whose house I cleaned and the people at the club
assumed we were a couple. I played along because I longed for the unconditional
love she expressed for me. It was perfect in the sense that I could just be. I
felt nothing but acceptance and love every time we went to the club. It was the
ideal and safe space for a human like myself to grow. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Yet I spent many sleepless nights thinking that many people
would judge me if they knew the truth and believed that I was seriously messed
up in the head. But I had grown up thinking that I was not normal because I
didn’t fit the mold, just like all the people at the club. I had reached the
point where I had stopped fighting the urge to be normal, because I didn’t even
know what that would look like where I was concerned. I thought about women
like Mrs. Braun and the horrible, yet socially accepted, ways many people were
living which I thought was unacceptable. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I loved that Tony stayed by my side after I had risked our
friendship by telling her where I stood. It taught me that I didn’t have to be
afraid to tell someone how I felt, even though they might not agree with me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">With a positive attitude and my new outlook on life, I
continued to help people wherever I saw an opportunity. The most common places
were the walk-in clinic, the bank, the thrift store, and grocery stores. At a
grocery store, I ran into the woman I had helped at the bank. She couldn’t find
yeast, and she didn’t know how to ask for it in English. I thought, “I have an
idea of how she feels right now, and I have the power not to allow what
happened to me when I was walking in her shoes to happen to her.” I approached
her and offered my help. She happily accepted. After I helped her find yeast, I
explained to her how to ask for it in English, and she finally said, “Thank
you,” with a smile on her face at that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Near the end of Tony’s last semester, she said, “I wish I
could do what you did, leave my family, all the people who I grew up with and
move to a new country to start over.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You can.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“No, I can't. I’m not as brave as you are, so Calgary will
have to do for now.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">She had a bus ticket to Calgary in her backpack, ready to
leave the minute she received her final report card. I hugged her and said,
“Thank you for being a part of my journey. You thought me so much about human
love.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Here you go again. You are going to make me cry.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I’m sorry. I know I’m being what I’ve heard people call “mushy,”
and I've seen people roll their eyes at the sight of “mushy,” but I don’t care
about that right now. I think it is important for you to know this because I
have a feeling that I will never see you again.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">She wrapped her arms around me. I sobbed on her shoulder
like never before, knowing how much I was going to miss her. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was okay with showing her what I felt, because I had read
about how important it was to feel one's emotions at the moments one was
feeling them. And that helped me when I decided not to focus on being sad after
she left. Instead, I felt excited and eager to learn from the humans who might
still cross my path. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I went home after school and didn’t even look at my report
card. I packed a change of clothes and makeup, and headed to my cleaning job. I
decided that after I cleaned, I would make myself as pretty as possible and go
to the mall. As I finished putting my makeup on, one of the men came home.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Hi, Anna, I’m so glad I came home early enough to run into
you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My heart began to pound uncontrollably. I reminded myself
that I didn’t have to be afraid anymore.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I’m sorry that we leave such a terrible mess for you to
clean every time. Thank you for always doing such an amazing job.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You’re welcome.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I was talking to Tony, and she told me that you guys broke
up. I’m so sorry to hear that. How are you holding up?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Ummm, I’m okay.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Good for you. I got dumped too, again, and I am devastated.
I wish I could be as okay with it as you seem to be.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Well, I think spending time on your own is very important.
And you probably already know way more about this than I do. But, I read this
book on emotions and what you are feeling right now is good. Maybe you should
read it. And it talks about the difference between being alone versus being
lonely, and since I learned that, I really enjoy my alone time.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“The only thing I know about being alone is that it really
sucks. I hate it.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“That’s exactly what the book talks about.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I am intrigued by the fact that Tony always ends up with
the most amazing women.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Well, Tony sure knows how to treat women so that they want
to be in her presence,” I said, and immediately held my breath because I was
sure I had overstepped a delicate boundary and offended him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I held my breath until he spoke.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">At last, he said, “I need to work on my approach, because
obviously what I am doing is not working. Maybe I will pick up that book and
start reading it tonight.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I took a deep, relieving breath while he continued, “This
was nice. Thanks for listening and talking to me. Do you think we could be
friends?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Sure, why not?” I replied. “I have to get going.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, he said as he pulled out his wallet to pay me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“See you next week.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You bet. Thanks.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">While I was browsing through clothes at the mall, all I
could do was think about my friend Kristina and how I much I missed her,
especially when I needed her help picking out clothes. I had grown into a much
fuller body since the time I shopped with her. The sizes that she taught me to pick
didn’t fit me anymore. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I put the clothes I picked back on the rack and drove to
London to visit Josh. We spent most of the weekend watching movies, eating
pizza, and ice cream. On Sunday, Josh took me to a much bigger mall and helped
me pick out some stunning outfits that fit me properly. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Josh gave me a box full of books that he bought for me. It
was like Christmas morning. I was so excited to go home and spend my time
between semesters reading the books Josh had chosen for me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I got home Sunday night, I pushed all my pleated
Mennonite dresses to the corner of my closet and hung my new outfits beside my
favorite “purple dress.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I tried on one of my new outfits, sat down, and opened the
envelope that contained my report card. To my surprise, I had the highest marks
I had gotten up to that point, and the night got even better when George
appeared at my doorstep. <o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">Click <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2019/05/outlandish-mennonite.html">here</a> to continue reading my story.</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
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Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05633106090296282842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5032771919230839417.post-46375655712822285402019-04-10T18:50:00.000-04:002019-05-02T20:08:07.301-04:00Changing Mennonite<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Continued from <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2019/03/so-what.html">So what?</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">I put my idea into practice for the first
time at the bank. I recognized a young couple who were from my colony standing
in the lineup in front of me. When they saw me, they began to whisper to each other
while glancing back at me, making it obvious that they were talking about me. I
decided to smile and wave at them every time they turned around and looked at
me, even though my heart was pounding with rage, thinking to myself, “What did
I ever do to you?” When I saw them struggling while dealing with the bank teller,
I left my place in the lineup and walked over to offer my help. </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">I endured an awkward few moments of them
staring me up and down because of how I was dressed, before they accepted my
offer to help. </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">After the bank teller and I watched the
couple leave with bank cards, cash in their hands and smiles on their faces,
the bank teller said, “Thank you so much for your help. They would have never
been able to open a bank account without your help.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I decided that the couple didn’t say thank
you because they were speechless and in awe of my generosity. I left the bank
feeling good about my actions, knowing that there was more where that came from
and that I was the source of it. After that realization, I grew, and became
more comfortable in my own skin. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was well on my way to building a new
reputation for myself after having multiple opportunities such as the one at the
bank on many different occasions. And then I was ready to throw it all away
when I ran into the Brauns again, knowing that they were the ones who were spreading
gossip about me causing my family hardship in Mexico. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I had a week off between the end of the
spring semester and the beginning of my summer semester. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I invited George to walk with me to a doctor's
appointment, which is where I ran into the Braun family. They had come back to
Canada to work in the fields for the summer. They were visiting the doctor’s
office with yet another new baby. Not much had changed. Mr. Braun sat in the
van smoking, while mom was inside with all the kids and her new baby. Mr. Braun
stared us up and down as we walked past the van. George saw how angry I was
getting. He pulled me aside and gave me a pep talk before entering the
building.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Anna, just breath through it. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know this isn't fair, and I want to do
nothing more than take that f#cker to the back and beat the shit out of him, but
that’s not who I am so I'm not going to do that.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I just stared at George.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Remember your plan about changing people’s
minds about you?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, but I don’t want to anymore. I hate these
people!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I know, but Anna, this is the perfect opportunity,
and I will help you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Do you trust me?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Ahhh, yes.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, then take a deep breath.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Now look at Mr. Braun, make eye contact,
smile and nod your head.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I don’t want to!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I know, but trust me, it's going to work.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I swallowed my pride and followed George’s
instructions. Mr. Braun quickly looked away, pretending that he didn’t see me. When
we entered the building, this time I didn’t ask George to sit across from me
instead of beside me in fear of Mrs. Braun’s reaction to him. But it didn’t
seem to faze her. She looked overwhelmingly sad and depressed, the same as the
last time I had run into her there. I offered to hold her baby when she needed
to attend to her toddler, and she accepted my offer and handed me the baby.
When the nurse called her name, she asked if I could watch her kids while she
and the baby went with the nurse. I agreed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This time when I read books out loud to the
kids in front of George, I realized how much confidence I had gained since the
last time I had done that. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I compared my experiences and thought,
“Okay, I left the couple at the bank speechless, Mr. Braun still hates me, but
Mrs. Braun doesn't care how I am dressed or the fact that George is here with
me. I’ll start with that.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">On the walk home, George said, “What you
did there, that took a lot of courage. I’m so proud of you, Anna.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Thank you. My heart is still pounding.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I believe you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I smiled.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“When you hear any negative gossip from
your community in Mexico, or anywhere for that matter, don’t dwell on it. And
most importantly, don’t explain yourself to anyone, just keep doing what you
did today, and eventually, that will take over. I guarantee that it will kill
the negative gossip. It may take a while, but it will work. Remember how long
it took you to trust me?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I covered my face with both my hands and
said, “I know! I’m so sorry.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“It’s okay. I didn’t exactly make it easy
for you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“No, you didn’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You have no idea how afraid I was of you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I can only imagine, but let's not focus on
that.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“So, what are you going to do on your only
week off this summer?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Sit at the library and learn.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Anna, I hate to tell you what to do, but I
think you need to take a bit of a break from learning, don’t you?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Well, I don’t know what else to do.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You should go to the beach or something.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“That’s a great idea! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just might do that. Thanks!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Anytime.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">After George left for work, I stopped in at
the library and picked up a few books, including one on building trust with
people who hate you and another about human emotions, and off to the beach I went
to learn. I began to better understand my emotions, and to realize that humans
are meant to have exactly the kinds of emotions I was experiencing. I learned
that building trust took small, consistent, repetitive, genuine actions, gestures,
and smiles over some time. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I sat at the beach until I was the only one
left, and watched the sun fade behind the water.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I got home from the beach, I had a
message on my answering machine from the nurse at the walk-in clinic. She
wanted to know if I would be interested in interpreting for Mrs. Braun the next
time she had an appointment. I couldn't believe it, thinking Mrs. Braun spoke
better English than I did. I called the nurse back first thing the next morning
and explained that to her, and she said, “Actually, Anna, she doesn’t speak
more English than you do. They only come here for the summer, and she’s very
isolated; she doesn’t leave her house, and I am concerned about some things
that I would like you to help me explain to her.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, yeah, sure. If you think that I can
help, I would be happy to.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Great! Thank you so much, Anna. See you
soon.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I had no idea what I was doing, but I took
my time explaining the nurse’s concerns to Mrs. Braun, to the best of my
ability. Mrs. Braun didn't say much, but it seemed that she understood what I
was explaining to her. I told her that she could call me if she needed to talk
to someone, or if she wanted me to explain everything to her again. She said,
“Okay,” and took my phone number.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">After Mrs. Braun left, the nurse put her
hand on my shoulder and said, “Thank you so much, Anna, that went really well.
Can I call you to interpret again sometime? I have a few more clients who need
clarification on some of my concerns.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yeah, sure.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“That’s great, Anna; you are a natural at
this.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The nurse’s encouraging words were such a
confidence booster for me. Whenever I ran into a Dietsch person, male or female,
I acknowledged that I was one of them by saying, “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Goondach</i> (hello)” with a smile, and leaving it up to them whether
they wanted to speak <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Dietsch</i> to me or
not. If they did, I happily responded. It got to the point where I was eager
for any opportunity to explain myself to anyone who was curious, and that
turned my life around. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My nightmares about drowning on my way to
Posen Land and windmills yelling at me disappeared. I grew confident in my
ability to place each of the puzzle pieces that had become my life in its
rightful place as I collected it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The next time Mom called and told me that
she had heard that I was seen at the doctor’s office with a ‘<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">schwiennoagel</i>,’ I explained, “His name
is George, and he's my friend. I invited him to come along to my appointment so
that I wasn’t alone.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, are you sick?” Mom asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“No, I just had a checkup.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“A checkup for what?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“To make sure that I'm healthy and that I
stay that way.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay,” she said, and then there was silence,
because that was a foreign concept in the colony. In the colony we only visited
the doctor when we knew we were sick, or if something hurt.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Then mom said, “Mrs. Braun’s sister told me
that you had helped her sister at the doctor’s. She said that she was surprised
that you helped her as you did.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I did a little happy dance.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“It was George’s idea. He’s a good person,
you know, and I am becoming a better person because of him.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“That’s good,” she replied, and proceeded
to tell me how things were at home. For the first time after hanging up the
phone with her, I didn’t feel guilty and terrible about myself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">After I finished my summer courses, I had
an opportunity to speak with my employment counselor, Sharon, when I dropped
off my report card. After signing the paperwork for me to be able to continue
on unemployment for another semester, she told me how impressed she was with my
progress, and asked if I would consider going to college. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I will be lucky if I get through the
courses I need to get my Ontario secondary school diploma,” I explained.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Well, I think you should definitely
discuss your options with your guidance counselor.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay,” I said. But I didn’t think that I
needed to, because I was sure that someone like me would never get into
college. During a class discussion on career day, we were encouraged to think
about our interests and possible career options. I had never been asked or even
dreamt of what I wanted to do when I grew up, so I sat back and listened to the
people who were sure, and had a plan.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“What about you, Anna?” the teacher asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I’ll be lucky if I get another factory job
and don’t end up picking cucumbers or working on the tobacco fields,” I answered,
and I accepted that that was good enough for me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My friend Steve finished his last course,
while I still had a whole semester left. By then I was able to write fast
enough to take my own notes fairly well, and didn’t have to rely on Steve’s
help anymore. I had gained enough confidence to be okay with starting a new
semester with no one I knew sitting beside me. My first day of class without
Steve, I was the first to arrive, as always. I placed my notebooks and pencils
neatly on my desk, sitting tall and confident, ready to learn. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and
hoped with all my heart that whoever would come and sit next to me would be
nice like Steve was.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Are you praying for the class to be over
already?” asked a voice behind me. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">Click <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2019/05/the-girlfriend.html">here</a> to continue reading my story.</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghx-1VjBicK7enZtcAD6PxPJp_q5NgS0nN7pCd8RauiLSy154jHiQJJnjDVmFvTSSXNOGUrjgebTTYxYeR1zjS5FQhU-RQ0dWhnVGH2a2kBhTRshvJv07cwJWosNZVNrZCi-n7HC9zorg/s1600/Changing+Mennonite.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="960" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghx-1VjBicK7enZtcAD6PxPJp_q5NgS0nN7pCd8RauiLSy154jHiQJJnjDVmFvTSSXNOGUrjgebTTYxYeR1zjS5FQhU-RQ0dWhnVGH2a2kBhTRshvJv07cwJWosNZVNrZCi-n7HC9zorg/s320/Changing+Mennonite.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05633106090296282842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5032771919230839417.post-76496940668887234842019-03-28T21:03:00.000-04:002019-04-10T18:54:13.727-04:00So what?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Continued from </span><a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2019/02/a-sliver-of-hope.html" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">A Sliver of Hope</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Somewhere along the way from Mexico to Texas, I felt less
guilty about the way I had left things with Mom and embraced the fact that I
was responsible for my </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">own</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"> actions,
especially after the experience of apologizing to Juan </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Pelos</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">. I realized that I could choose to separate myself from the
colony mindset, the group I was raised in and the group behavior I was programed
to imitate. I began thinking and acting as an individual.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Reflecting on the experiences I had had, I was learning to value
what I believed about myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thought,
“So what if my every thought, word, <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">and</span>
act <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">has been thought</span>, said and done
better by others?” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was ready to combine
my <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">experiences</span> of growing up in the
colony with what I was learning in school and from all the people in my life—and
own it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Since leaving the colony the first time, I had believed that
I had to choose between myself and my family, Canada and the <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">colony</span>. I felt that it had to be one or the
other. It was an incredibly freeing feeling when I finally realized that that
wasn’t the case. I was free to go back to the colony any time I wanted;<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;"> I</span> <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">just</span>
couldn’t change the <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">colony</span> or the people
who lived there. I realized that to keep the relationships I had with my family
and friends in the <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">colony,</span> I would have
to work on accepting that fact. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I concluded that communication was a huge factor in my
frustration. It had a lot to do with the limited Low German vocabulary with
which we communicated. I decided that all the times Mom talked about me needing
to adjust my attitude to the situation at hand, she was trying to tell me that
I was the one who was <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">changing</span>, and how
dare I come back there expecting them to understand, let alone agree with it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I thought, “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ha li <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">cringel</span> <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">ekje</span>
<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">se</span> <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">an
schlopmetz</span>!</i>”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">That realization and adjusted attitude made a huge
difference right away. When Uncle Jake and Izaak dropped me off at the airport,
I was less afraid of what was to come. Izaak hugged me, Uncle Jake shook my
hand, wishing me well, and I walked away taller and more confident, with a
bring-on-<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">whatever-is-headed</span>-my-way-I-will-face-it-head-on
attitude. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was stunned at how easy it was to go through airport
security when I didn’t argue with the guards about my nationality. I smiled and
answered only the questions that they asked, and they couldn’t get me out of
there fast enough. I <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">chuckled</span> and
thought, “And there wasn’t even a man with me!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I walked out of the airport back in Canada, and the
cold air hit my face, freezing my nose hairs instantly, I thought, “Okay, I see
now why Izaak cares so much about the weather in Texas.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Upon arriving at my apartment building at 1:00 a.m., all I
could do was think about knocking on George’s door. When I walked past his
door, I stopped and listened, and when there was no evidence of him being up, I
just went to my apartment and went to sleep, since I had to get up and go to
school the next day. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I woke up late the next morning and had no time to blow dry
my hair. I quickly put on whatever I could find, grabbed my backpack and ran to
school. In moments of feeling sorry for <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">myself,</span>
I <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">regretted</span> my decision not to stay in
Texas. My friend Steve greeted me with open arms at the door when I arrived at
school. He wrapped his arms around me and said, “Happy New Year! Oh my god, <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">Anna</span>, you are frozen!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I thought, “Happy New Year? That was such a long time ago
and I am completely over it, but okay.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I looked at him, confused, and he explained to me that
people in Canada say Happy New Year to people they haven't seen yet in the new
year.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Anna, you should never be outside with wet hair at this
time of the year, <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">and</span> really, you should
wear pants—you are going to get sick!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, thank you,” I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You’re welcome. Oh, and here are the notes of all the stuff
you missed while you were away.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Thank you so much! I am so scared that I won’t be able to
catch up.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You'll be fine, just read over those notes a few times.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, I will.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">By the end of the day, I had a <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">massive</span> headache from all the chaos, and especially from forcing my
brain back to English only, because no one understood my mixed vocabulary of
Spanish, Low German and <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">Englishified</span> Low
German. <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">I was overwhelmed by the fact that I had
a new teacher, a quiz the next morning, a pile of assignments that were due in
a week, a new book I had to start reading, and a whole lot of homework to catch
up on. And as far as I knew, I still had a cleaning job waiting for me.</span> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">At the end of the day, </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I
wanted to curl up in the corner and cry, but Steve wouldn’t let me. <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">He</span> walked me to his car, drove to Tim Hortons
and bought me a cappuccino before dropping me off at my apartment. “I’m so glad
you’re home, Anna. I missed you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Thanks for everything, Steve. I missed you too. See you
tomorrow,” I replied while thinking <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">dietschjat,</i></span> I love this man!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I dragged my heavy backpack through my apartment door, sat
down on the floor by the patio doors and stared at the snow falling, as I sipped
my cappuccino. I thought, “I’m home,” but I felt anything but<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;"> home; it was all familiar, yet foreign.</span> <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">I felt what I now can describe as homesick. I missed
my family and wished that they were with me.</span> I fetched my pillow and
blanket, and crawled up into a ball right there on the floor, like a little kid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I cried myself to sleep, I<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;"> </span>remembered that I had felt the <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">same</span> while <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">visiting</span>
my family in the colony. When I woke <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">up,</span>
I began to study for my quiz and did my homework one page at a time until
midnight. I woke up the next morning to my phone ringing, “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Oba <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">waut</span> nu</i>?” I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Good morning Anna! It’s Steve. Don’t make coffee or walk to
school this morning. I’m picking you up in half an hour, and I’ll bring
coffee.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Ahhh okay, thank you!” I said, and before I knew it, I had survived
the week, thanks to Steve. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It was Friday night, and I hadn’t seen anything of George
all week. I began to worry that he might have moved. I stayed up late reading,
hoping and waiting for him to knock on my door.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I woke up Saturday morning, and there was still no sign
of George. I decided that I would focus on the work I had to get done. I made <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">tweeback</span></i>
dough, put a pot of beans on, sorted my dirty laundry, and began cleaning my apartment
with Pine Sol. I walked past George’s door every time I changed a load of
laundry. Occasionally I slowed down and listened, but there was no sound coming
from his apartment at all. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Finally, after the beans <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">were
done</span>, the laundry folded, my apartment cleaned, and the first batch of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">tweeback</span></i>
in the oven, George appeared at my door. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Hey, welcome back!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“George!” I yelled, as he wrapped his arms around me. <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">Eventually,</span> I let go of him, but not because I
wanted to.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“It smells amazing in here. Are you baking ‘<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">whatbucks</span>’ again?” he asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Thank you, well, yes I am. Would you like to come in and
have one?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, please!” he replied, and came <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">in. I</span> just stared at him until he started talking.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“So, how the heck are you, and how was Mexico?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I feel like I haven’t seen you for an entire year.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Tell me about it, life is so boring here
without you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Really? I thought it would have been peaceful.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Don’t say that, Anna! Never!”</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I was beginning to think that you moved or something.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Oh no, I just started a new job, and I work afternoon shifts,”
he explained.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, so that’s why I haven't seen you all week.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You got it!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, so how do you like it?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“It’s okay, it’ll pay the bills for now, but enough about me.
How was your trip?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“How much time do you have?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I’m yours for the rest of the weekend, if you’ll have me,”
he said, and there was that wink again. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I turned red from head to toe and thought, “How will I get any
reading done now?” and distracted myself by serving him a plate of beans and a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">tweeback</span></i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Ummm, <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">George</span>?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, Anna.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“This is a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">tweeback</span></i>, not a <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">whatbuck</span>,” I explained as I served him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay,” he said, and winked at me again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“That’s it! Say it. Say <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">tweeback</span>!</i>”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">Whatbuck</span>?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Tweeback</i>!!!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Whatbuck!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You’re imposable—you know that?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, I know,” he <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">replied,</span>
<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">and</span> I just stared at him while he enjoyed
his meal.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Stop staring at him!” I thought.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“So tell me about your trip.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I don’t even know where to begin, but <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">first, thank you</span> for encouraging me to go. Even
though I didn’t think so at first, it was the right time for me to go. Now I
will be better able to focus on school.<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yeah, how so? Tell me about that.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“It's hard to put into words. It’s more
about how I'm feeling. You know that feeling that you helped me put into words
when I couldn’t eat because my stomach felt like it was full of stones?”</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, I remember.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">Well,</span> it’s kind of
like that.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I get it,” he said, <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">and</span>
then the words just flowed out of me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I was going to say <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">goodbye</span>
to my colony, my family and Mexico. I <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">believed
that I had to choose a side, but that’s not true,” I looked up at him and saw
that I had his full attention, he was listening.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I think I can go to school, change the way I dress, or, you
know, try to have my <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">own</span> style, and have,
ummm, different kinds of friends, while keeping my family and a relationship with
my fellow Mennonites. <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">Eventually,</span> I want
to come and go to my colony in Mexico as I am, and as I <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">please.</span>” I made eye contact, <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">and</span>
he was still listening. “I know, I know, it doesn’t make any <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">sense</span>. It’s a long shot, <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">and</span> it’s probably not even going to work.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Not with <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">that attitude</span>!
<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">Believe</span> it, <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">and</span> you can <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">achieve</span> it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">really</span> think so?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“No, Anna, I don’t think <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">so, I</span>
know so.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Grrrr, I wish I was smart and knew things like you do.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“But you are smart, <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">and</span>
I feel <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">what you</span> are saying. You don’t
even need words<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">; words</span> are <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">stupid</span> barriers anyway. Follow your feelings, <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">and</span> you will get there.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I want my <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">people</span> to
change the way they see me because of the way I treat them, in spite of how
they treat me.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">Brilliant</span> choice of
words!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Do you think that that’s even possible?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">We're</span> going over this
again?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes! I want your words to <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">push</span>
away my doubts.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">Absolutely! An</span>ything
is possible with patience.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Thank you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You’re <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">welcome,</span> <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">sweetie</span>.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I felt so reassured. I <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">thought</span>,
“I love you.” <o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">Click <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2019/04/changing-mennonite.html">here</a> to continue reading my story.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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</div>
Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05633106090296282842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5032771919230839417.post-38961931481121566362019-02-28T19:05:00.000-05:002019-03-28T21:05:16.389-04:00A Sliver of Hope<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Continued from </span><a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2019/02/i-am-annana.html" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">I am Annana</a><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“What’s going on, why is it so loud in
here?” asked Uncle Jake.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“We can't find your <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">nudel schnida,</i>” I explained.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Oh, I don’t have one.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“What, oh no! What are we going to do?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Well, I have all kinds of noodles in the
cupboard.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, let me see what you have,” I
answered. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Uncle Jake opened the cupboard and showed
me all the spaghetti noodles he had in there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ha
li kringel</i>! (Oh</span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">twisty bun!)”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“What?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You think it's okay to put spaghetti
noodles in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">nudel zup</i>?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Sure, why not?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Oba</i>
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">nienich!” </i>(Never!)”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I don’t think we have much of a choice at
this point,” Said Izaak.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You’re right Izaak, but this is not acceptable,
and I'm not okay with it!” I said. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I don’t know what the big deal is,” said
Uncle Jake.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Oh you will, when you take the first slurp,”
I answered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I showed Uncle Jake all the ingredients I
put in the broth and boiled spaghetti noodles. Izaak set the table and answered
a knock at the door. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I didn’t know you were getting company.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Neither did I,” answered Uncle Jake.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Annana! Meet Feo and his brother Juan Pelos.
These two have been friends with your brothers for a very long time,” explained
Izaak.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">They both reached out to shake my hand, Feo
asked, “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Así que eres la hermana de los hermanos
Wall</i>? (So you're the sister of the Wall brothers?)”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Asi
es</i>, (That’s right.)”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Pensé
que tu nombre era Anna</i> (I thought your name was Anna.)”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You're right it is, Annana is a long story
you don’t wanna know,” I explained.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“</span></i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What? But I want to know.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I gave Izaak a ‘help me’ look.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“She's right it is a long story, <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">and</span> <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">we'll</span> explain it another
time. How about we eat before the soup gets cold.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We sat down around the table<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">
I</span> bowed my head to say my mealtime prayer, Uncle Jake and Izaak
followed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I waited until everyone filled <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">their</span> bowl and <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">watched</span>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="FR-CA" style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Algo no está <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">bien</span>. ¿O debería <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">decir</span> <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">que</span>
<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">incluso</span> la <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">comida</span> <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">menonita</span> <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">sabe</span> <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">mejor</span>
en México?</i> </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(Something is not right. Or should I say that
even Mennonite food tastes better in Mexico?” A</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">sked Juan Pelos.</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I stared at Uncle Jake until he couldn’t take it anymore, <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">so</span> he got up and <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">fetched</span> a bag of tostadas, <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">avocados,</span>
<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">and salsa and explained to his guests why the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">nudel zup</i> tasted so different.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I think I have ruined <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">nudel zup’s</i> reputation forever!” I explained to Uncle Jake in Low
German.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“It’s okay Annana it’s not that bad, the
tostadas will be a nice compliment.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">¿Qué <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">dijiste</span></i> Anna? (What did you say, <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">Anna</span>?)” Asked Juan <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">Pelos</span>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">Ahhh </span>who wants a
tostada?” Uncle Jake asked, <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">and</span> everyone raised
their hands.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Regardless, no one left the <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">table</span>
feeling <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">hungry</span>. Uncle Jake, Feo, <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">and</span> Juan <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">Pelos</span>
went outside for a smoke. Izaak and I cleared <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">the
table. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Thanks for helping me.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Annana, I would never leave you to clean
all this mess up on your own.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“This is one of the reasons I like you the
best Izaak!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Well, it’s all about spending as much time
together as we can, no?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You got it,” I answered and threw the dish
towel at him. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">By the time Uncle Jake and his guests came
back inside Izaak, and I were sitting at the table and looking at Uncle Jake’s
photo albums.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You know what we should do tonight?” asked
Izaak.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“What?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“We should go to this disco club in Dallas
that I go to sometimes. I think you would like it, they play all kinds of different
music tonight is norteña night, and there’s a popular band playing. What do you
say, Annana, you wanna dress up, let your hair down and go dance the night
away?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Feo and Juan Pelos almost jumped through
the roof with excitement.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I think you would love it!” said Juan Pelos
in a heavy Spanish accent.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I looked at Uncle Jake, and he said, “Knock
yourselves out. I’m too old for that. I’m staying home.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay,” I said, and let my hair down, put
on lip gloss, pulled together an outfit as best I could with what I had, and
off we went to the club.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The club was jam-packed with impeccably
dressed gorgeous, confident Mexican people. The atmosphere reminded me of El
Guero’s parties. Again, I felt completely out of place and self-conscious, but the
more <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">vampiros</i> I drank it helped enhanced
my vocabulary, or so I thought, and I cared less about what I looked like in
the clothing I was wearing. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I met many of Izaak’s friends and had deep
conversations with him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“So, what do you think?” Asked Izaak.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“This is awesome! I wanna live here.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I knew you would. I can help you find
work.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“It’s very tempting, but it’s a bad idea.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Why do you say that?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I would unintentionally become Uncle
Jake’s maid and end up resenting both of you for that. It would probably ruin
our relationship.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“True.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You know, this trip has been very hard for
me, and many times I thought that it was a huge mistake, but I have learned so
much. Going back to the colony has helped me mature and accept many things. I
think I have found my purpose.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Oh yeah? And what is that?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Well, for me to be okay, I need to stay
part of my family in some way or another, and I need for the Bueckert girls not
to hate me, I can’t let them go either I love them too much. It may take my lifetime
to prove to them that we can still be some part of each other’s lives maybe
even only in our thoughts for now in spite of us disagreeing about school and
many other things. I think by me finishing my high school will be one way I can
be a sliver of hope in the far future for them and many people from the colony
who can’t read and write. I am going to stop trying to convince them and show
them by doing it. I know that the hardest part for me will be keeping some kind
of relationship with them while I do it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I am proud of you. Most people who leave
the colony become hateful, bitter, and cut all ties they have with the life
they left behind. I see it here in Texas all the time; people end up putting
all their energy into proving that they are not part of that. I have done it
for years, it’s exhausting, and we just end up making fools of ourselves. No
matter what we do, we can’t change who our parents are or where we came from. Good
for you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Thank you. I know that it might not even
work, but I am going to do it anyway. I will just have to do what mom has
always said, that if you want to get anywhere , you have to adjust my
attitude accordingly. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ay caramba</i>,
Izaak, I said accordingly!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You sure did.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Juan Pelos didn’t like how serious my
conversation with Izaak was getting and asked me to dance. As always, I put up
a big fight resisting, but in the end, gave in.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Ahhh what the heck! I’ll go to the
dancefloor with you, but I can guarantee you that I will be stepping on your
tows. Are you okay with that?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="FR-CA" style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Claro, mis botas de avestruz pueden manejarlo</i>.
</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(Sure, my ostrich boots can handle it.)” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Juan Pelos did a really good job of not letting
the fact that I was imposable to lead on the dance floor ruin his</span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">optimism. There was just no way I could even pretend to put
out moves like the rest of the people in the club, so I thought I would talk to
him to make it go by faster for his sake.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“So Izaak tells me that you guys are from <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Esfuerzos</i>?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, that’s right.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You know, I think you grew up in the best
little Ranchito in Mexico. That mountain with the cave is my favorite!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I couldn’t agree with you more.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You know that my friends and I used to run
and hide when anyone from <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Esfuerzos</i> past
through our colony.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, how could I forget?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“That was very rude.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“It did hurt a lot, but this makes it
better.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I am so sorry.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“That’s okay I understand why you did it. I’ll
never hide from you when you go through my town to visit your favorite place.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I know you wouldn’t. Thank you for that.</span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When we drive through any Mexican town, people do nothing but
smile and wave at us.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You’re welcome.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Sooo how long have you known my brothers
for?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“About four years or so, how are they
doing?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Good, really good actually. They are so
easy going. I sure didn’t expect that I would get along with them as well as I
did.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I know what you mean. Your brothers are awesome.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I know, I am going to miss them even more
now that I spent so much time with them. You know that they lived in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Cuernavaca, Morelos</i> and worked as extras
on a movie set?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“What? No, I didn’t. That’s awesome!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yeah, I know. I’m totally jealous.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Me too. Oh shit! Are they still going to
talk to me now that they are actors?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Oh yes, they are all relaxed about it. I
was the one that freaked out with excitement especially about the fact that they
got to work with Joaquim de Almeida and Tom Berenger.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Wow good for them.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yeah, I know.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Come, I’ll buy you a drink,” suggested
Juan Pelos when the song ended.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“What would you like?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I’ll have another <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">vampiro</i>.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Are you sure you don’t want to try
something different?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“No, not really, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">vampiros</i> are my favorite.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay,” He replied. We went back to our
table and met some more of Izaak’s friends.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I sat down and thought how nice I felt that
I had a chance to apologize to at least one person for being so ignorant and rude
to him just because he wasn't <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Dietsch</i>.
I got all worked up thinking to myself, “From now on I will decide for myself
who I will be friends with how I will treat people.” And I felt unbearable
guilt again about how I had judged George before I even knew him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You look sad what's wrong?” asked Izaak.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Oh nothing, I just realized some important
changes I have to work on.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, whenever you want to go just let me
know, okay.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, I will. This is great, thanks for
showing me what your life is like.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Your welcome.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Hey, does El Guero ever come here?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“No, or at least I have never ran into him
here.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Why do you ask?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I just wondered.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Do you plan on staying in touch with him?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“No, you know, as much as I would like too,
I know that I am better off listening to my mother about this one. I am so glad
that I got to experience what I did and that I met him before I knew what he
does. I think I am better of leaving things as they are, and besides, I think I
might have lost his phone number.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You are making a smart decision <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">prima!</i> Cheers to that.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I chugged back my <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">vampiro</i> and told Izaak with more confidence than ever before, “I
have made many stupid decisions, for many different reasons and I am sick of
it. From here on out I am deciding for myself, who I talk to, who I am friends
with, whether they have tattoos, wear plaid shirts or ostrich boot. The
decision will be mine, and I'm not hiding and pretending anymore. And you know
what else?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“What?” Izaak asked with a scared look on
his face.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I’m gonna go shopping! I’m going to dress how
I want to dress. Who care about what people think!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You go, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">prima!</i>” Izaak replied.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“And I’m gonna wear my purple dress! But
only when I'm sleeping. And you know what else?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“No, tell me.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“This is my last drink.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, how about I’ll get you a water?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Thank you!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I sobered up, I apologized to Izaak
for speaking so aggressively.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Prima!</i>
If you are going to practice what you preach never apologize for preaching it!” <o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">Click <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2019/03/so-what.html">here</a> to continue reading my story.</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF0u8K306wbNbM4ObqkG8MmQHCp0pauliKWX-SYWVH99R1PK8uQJZZmNsMW0Z_HBFvI5KOHVUro3enJJqC0Cm2cY7zCCmq3zSTMrofeMt0_EQuPJ8hyGDB45R_7ZJLk6LnX6vVzNB51cQ/s1600/Hope.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1334" data-original-width="953" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF0u8K306wbNbM4ObqkG8MmQHCp0pauliKWX-SYWVH99R1PK8uQJZZmNsMW0Z_HBFvI5KOHVUro3enJJqC0Cm2cY7zCCmq3zSTMrofeMt0_EQuPJ8hyGDB45R_7ZJLk6LnX6vVzNB51cQ/s320/Hope.jpg" width="228" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo credit to Margaret Wall</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05633106090296282842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5032771919230839417.post-12542647193487403322019-02-07T20:05:00.000-05:002019-02-28T19:09:34.591-05:00I am Annana<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Continued from </span><a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2019/01/seven-plautdietsch-words.html" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">Seven Plautdietsch Words</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As the sun began to rise over the mountains,
looking out the window, I thought, “Stop being so sad, Anna! You’re going back
to your life in Canada! A good life! Or at least better than the one you're
leaving behind! Am I? Really? Should I talk to Uncle Jake? Maybe that will
help.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I looked over at him, and he seemed perfectly
content with the silence. “I shouldn’t bother him! Just go back to being sad,
Anna,” I thought.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I jumped when Uncle Jake finally spoke. “How
about we have breakfast here in Durango City? I know a place that makes the
best <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">huevos divorciados</i>.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes! I have no idea what that is, but I
want some. How about you, Izaak? Are you up for some <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">huevos divorciados</i>?” I asked as I gave him an elbow poke.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yeah, yeah sounds good to me.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The restaurant was bright, colorful and had
cheerful music playing. It was hard to continue to be sad when the people who
were serving us added to the cheerfulness of the atmosphere. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“This is what I am going to miss about
Mexico,” I thought. I realized that I loved everything about Mexico except life
in the colony. I looked around and imagined myself living in Durango City.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As soon as we hit the road again, it felt
like an elephant of darkness sat down on my chest. Izaak went right back to
sleep, and it didn’t seem like Uncle Jake was the person to talk to about what
I was experiencing. So I did what I always did—I imagined George telling me to breathe
through it, and before I knew it, I had fallen asleep and we had arrived at the
border. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Now that I knew what my nationality was,
crossing the border into the US was easy. They didn’t even seem to care. “Oh,
sure!” I thought. “Now that I am with two guys, there are no problems! Or maybe
the lesson I learned here is, ‘Don’t argue with immigration officers, and especially
do not bring knives in your backpack ever again!’”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I looked into the rear view mirror, and
couldn’t see Mexico in the distance anymore, I felt what my cowboy friend Javier
had told me about. I felt like I was leaving part of myself behind and thought,
“This is what he meant by being separated from one’s soul.” I felt it too, and I
thought, “How could I say that I would never go back to where my soul lives?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My eyes became very itchy, and I did everything
I could to hide it from Uncle Jake and Izaak. To distract myself from feeling
what I was feeling, I opened my backpack and looked through the papers mom had
given me. Among those papers was my original Mexican birth certificate. Now
that I could read, I looked over it and noticed that I was not the only one
confused about what nationality we <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Dietsch</i>
people were. On my original birth certificate, it said that the nationality of all
four of my grandparents and my parents was <i>menonita.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I knew it!” I thought, “My nationality is
not Canadian, it’s <i>menonita!</i>”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Uncle Jake glanced over and said, “Those
are all wrong.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“What?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“The birth certificates that were issued
during that time are all wrong. Look at your name, it’s Annana Wol.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I began laughing so hard that all the tears
I had fought back so hard were pouring out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“So next time I cross the border I can say,
‘My name is Annana Vol, and my nationality is <i>menonita</i>, and it'll be true,
because look, it says right here.’”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Uncle Jake and Izaak both laughed with me. “We
are so screwed,” said Izaak. I just kept laughing and waited for him to say
more. “If the people that are in charge of registering us can't even spell our
names or know that <i>menonita</i> is not a nationality, how are we as a group going
to survive?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Who did this?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I have no idea.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I looked at Uncle Jake, and he said, “Nope,
all I can tell you is when your dad and I tried to apply for new ones, the
person at the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">registro civil</i> told us
that it would take a long time and a lot of trips to Durango City to correct
all the mistakes. He offered to type up new ones right there in exchange for
some <i>queso menonita</i>. But you know what that means?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“No, what?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“The new birth certificates were never sent
in.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, so what does that mean?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“As far as the Mexican government is concerned
you are Annana Vol, and your nationality is <i>menonita</i>,” said Izaak, “That’s what
that means.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“So my name really is Annana Vol?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You got it!” said Uncle Jake, and we all burst
out laughing. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“No wonder I feel like I am two people
being separated one from the other when I leave. It’s true: in Canada I am Anna
Wall, and in Mexico, I am Annana Vol.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When things got quiet again, I thought, “I
am just going to keep talking, so I don’t get sad again.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“How did you learn to read and write <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Dietsch</i>, English, and Spanish? Did you
go to school after you moved to the US?” I asked Uncle Jake. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“No, I never went to school in the US. I
learned <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Dietsch</i> in the Mennonite school.
My father, your grandpa, taught me to read and write Spanish and English. It
was pretty easy for me to learn.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You must not have been a hard learner.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Nope, I was a soft learner,” he answered, and
I looked at him and waited for him to laugh, but he looked all serious; I couldn’t
tell if that was supposed to be a joke or not. He continued, “But my English isn't
that great. I speak Spanish mostly on a daily basis. About ninety percent of
the people that I fix cars for are Mexicans who don’t speak English. The only
time I speak English is when I do my banking and shopping.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“What about <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Dietsch</i>? Are there any <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Dietsch</i>
people where you live whom you can talk to?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“There are two <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Dietsch</i> people whom I hang out with sometimes. But I'll never
forget</span> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dietsch</span></i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> even if I don’t speak it for years. As soon as I step foot
onto the colony, my brain just knows to speak <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Dietsch</i>.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Wow, you are so lucky! It was hard for
me.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“It was harder for me the first few times
too, but it gets easier each time you go back.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“What about you, Izaak, was it hard for
you?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“No, I never even thought about it, it just
happened naturally. But I think the difference is I was with my family the
first ten times or so going back and forth. We spoke <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Dietsch</i> to each other and English or Spanish to the public. I’ve been
programmed this way, I guess. You don’t need to go to school to learn that. Experience
is the best teacher in my books.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The sun disappeared behind the mountains, and
seven hours later we arrived at Uncle Jake's house in Duncanville, Texas. It
was a small, two-bedroom house. It didn’t look like a house to me, it looked
more like a garage. There were car parts, magazines or calendars with <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">nakschitasch</i> (half-naked women) on them
everywhere. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I didn’t know where to look, so I looked at
Izaak.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“It’s a bachelor thing,” explained Izaak.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“What’s a bachelor?” I asked, while I
awkwardly made eye contact with Uncle Jake.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It was like he hadn't heard anything that had been said in the room.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I don’t know about you two, but I’m having
a shower, and going to sleep,” said Uncle Jake.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, Annana and I will go get some groceries,”
said Izaak.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Great,” said Uncle Jake, and wrote down a
few things he needed. He asked us to buy all the ingredients to make <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">nudel zup</i>. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Annana, I would love it if you could teach
me how to make <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">nudel zup</i>. Could we do
that later today?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Sure,” I replied. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Izaak took me around and showed me the shop
where he and Uncle Jake worked, and again, the shop was covered in calendars
with <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">nakschitasch </i>on them. He took me
to a Mexican restaurant and explained to me what a bachelor was.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, but why don’t you guys put up the calendars
that you get from Mexico? You know, the ones with the horses and cute fluffy kitties
on them.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Ahhh, no! Let’s go to the grocery store.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Jee
han hea mul june faschetna weln, nich</i>?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You got it! It’s awesome. Uncle Jake doesn't
seem to carry around guilt and shame like we do, and the good thing for me is,
no one in my life here is constantly judging me. But I’m starting to feel like
you are judging us, Annana.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You couldn’t be more wrong I'm not judging
you, I am envious of you and Uncle Jake both. Uncle Jake seems perfectly
comfortable with his lifestyle. I wish I could be more like that. You know, he just
does what he wants to do and doesn't apologize for it, and his family welcomes
him back with open arms every time he goes back to the colony.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“He’s always been like that.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I know!” I said, and thought, “It’s
because he's not a woman! But I'm not even going to say it anymore. I’m sick of
this!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I know, I know, It’s because we're men!”
Izaak said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You said it!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I’m truly sorry that it is that way. I appreciate
you not judging me, and you can always count on me. I won't treat you differently
just because you are a woman.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Thanks, Izaak! I am lucky to have you in
my life, even if it is only once every two years or so,” I said, as I got up
and hugged him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We bought everything Uncle Jake needed,
including beer, tequila, and cigarettes. Not one person spoke English to Izaak.
Every person we encountered spoke Spanish. It felt like we were still in
Mexico. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I see why you prefer living here It’s like
we're right in between the two worlds I’m torn about.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You’re right, Annana, that’s exactly what
it is. Here we’re so much closer to Mexico, but far enough away from the colony
not to be judged all the time, and best of all there are great Mexican
restaurants everywhere. Most of the Mexican people that live here are our neighbors
from Mexico, and here we earn even better dollars than in Canada. And the
weather, oh Annana. don’t even get me started on the weather. It’s almost as if
I were actually living in Mexico.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
never gets cold here like it does in Canada.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Wait! Who cares about the weather! Why are
the dollars here better than Canadian dollars?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Because they are worth a heck of a lot
more than the Canadian dollars.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“What? Wow, I want to live here!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I knew you would! But you don’t, actually.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay Izaak, you are really confusing me.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“It's not that easy; you see it’s very difficult
to become a US citizen, and because of that most of us are very limited in the
things we can do here, like owning a car or buying a house.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“What?” I asked, and then he proceeded to
explain that he, like many others, were ‘wetbacks’ (illegals).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Oh no, Izaak! You just crushed my dreams! I’ll
stay dry, thanks!” I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When we got back to Uncle Jake’s house with
the groceries and started unpacking them, everywhere I tried to put things,
there were either tools or spark plugs in the way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, if I am making <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">nudel zup</i> in this kitchen, you're going to have to help me clean it
and get all this crap out of here!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“This is not crap, Annana! These spark plugs
are going to make someone very happy one day,” said Izaak as he laughed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Well, you better put them somewhere else
then.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">After cleaning the kitchen, I prepped the
chicken and put in on the stove to cook. I began looking for Uncle Jake’s pasta
maker, but couldn’t find it anywhere. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Izaak!
Witz du wua Um Jap seen nudel schnida haft faschtaken</i>? (Izaak! Would you
know where Uncle Jake is hiding his pasta maker?)”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Ahhh, he doesn’t have one.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“What? Oh no! We’re in so much trouble! I can't
make <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">nudel zup</i> without <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">a nudel schnida</i>!” </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">Click <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2019/02/a-sliver-of-hope.html">here</a> to continue reading my story.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
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Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05633106090296282842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5032771919230839417.post-42143843489205056522019-01-28T19:58:00.000-05:002019-02-07T20:10:11.810-05:00Seven Plautdietsch Words<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Continued from </span><a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2018/10/a-mennonite-rom-geschwien.html" style="font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">A Mennonite “rom-geschwien”</a><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Next year Anna will host a party!” said </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Paula</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I smiled and thought, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Dot
<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">bedua</span> <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">ekj</span></i>
(I doubt it)!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wondered:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">actually</span>
did host a party, what would it look <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">like</span>?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Would anyone even show up?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As everyone got back to mingling, I wandered around the
house looking for El Guero, but every time I spotted him, he <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">was surrounded</span> by a group of men I had never
seen before. I felt out of place, and homesick. “I need to get out of here!” I
concluded.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I finally spotted Izaak again, I practically ran to
him, “Hey Izaak! Let’s sneak out and go home,” I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Sounds good to me,” he answered, and we successfully snuck
out and left without saying goodbye to anyone. I regretted my decision to go
home immediately after walking in at my <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">parents’</span>
house, when I overheard my aunt, who was visiting, letting Mom have it. She had
strong opinions about what Mom should do with her rebellious daughter.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">Woarum</span> lots du di so <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">munk</span> de Mexa <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">rumschween</span>? Onn
felt <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">blus</span> <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">mul</span>
<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">geschet</span> dot <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">lada</span> full to <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">heven</span></i>!” (Why
do you allow her to hang around with the Mexicans? Anna <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">just</span> needs a good old spanking!)¨<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I felt bad for Mom and realized that my time to leave was
long overdue.
I ran across the yard to Uncle Jake’s house and was happy to find him packing
his bags.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Anna, are you ready to go? We're leaving at five a.m.
tomorrow morning!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“YES!” I <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">replied,</span> and
proceeded to help <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">him</span> pack.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">By the time I came back inside, my aunt had left. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Mom looked depressed and hopeless. I wanted to hug her and
tell her that I was sorry, but instead, I told her that I was leaving the next
morning. I sat down at the kitchen table and watched the relief wash over her.
I felt her letting go of me when she told me that she was glad that I was leaving,
that she couldn't carry the burden of my choices on her shoulders anymore, and
that she had placed it into the hands of God. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I had dreamt of this very moment and thought that I would
feel free, knowing that she had let me go. But I felt anything but free.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I helped my sisters tidy up and sweep the sunflower seed
shells off the floor. While Maria was helping me pack my suitcase, my little
brothers came running in, shouting, “Anna, someone is whistling and flashing a
lighter on the street for you. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">Die</span> sed
du sus rut <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">koom</span> </i>(He said you are
supposed to come outside).”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My heart dropped to the floor. “Who is it?” I asked in a shaky
voice. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I don’t know. I think <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">he's</span>
a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">Mexa</span></i>
because he spoke Spanish, but I can't tell.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I thought, “Oh no! It must be Aaron <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">Neudorf,</span> because only a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">Dietscha</span></i> would flash his lighter to get a
girl’s attention.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, just stay inside—maybe he will go away,” I told my
little brothers as I lifted the corner of the curtain and peeked out the
window. I continued to pack my suitcase, hoping that whoever it was would take
the hint and <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">just</span> leave. But no, every
time I peeked out, the <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">lighter</span> was
flashing. Finally, I <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">just</span> couldn’t take
it <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">anymore,</span> and decided to go and see who
it was before he came to the door. On my way through the kitchen, I was tempted
to grab a mason jar. But I remembered that I had put those days behind me and
continued to make my way to the street. My heart was pounding so much that it
felt like I was going to collapse. When I got close enough to see that it was
El Guero, I was shocked, “What the heck are you doing here?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="FR-CA" style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Por qué te <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">fuiste</span> sin <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">decirme</span>?</i> </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(Why did you leave
without telling me?)”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Um… Ah, wait! How do you know about the lighter flashing
thing?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Anna, I have been around <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">menones</span></i> long enough to learn a
thing or two.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, um… ah, where are the rest of them then?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“It’s just me. No one knows I’m here. I walked a long way.¨<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You did?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, okay, now it's my turn to ask the questions: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Por qué te <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">fuiste</span></i>?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I suddenly felt like I had to go home, and you were busy,
so I just left. I’m sorry.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">No, no, no te <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">preocupes</span></i> (No, no don't worry), he said as
he took a step closer toward me. He put his arms around me and whispered, “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Lo <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">siento</span></i>
(I'm sorry),” into my ear.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I’m leaving tomorrow morning,” I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">No me <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">digas</span> <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">eso</span>!</i>
(Don’t say that!)”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He slowly moved his hand up under my chin and pulled my face
up and said, “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Si no <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">hago</span> <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">esto</span>,
lo lamentaré <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">por</span> el resto de mi <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">vida</span>.</i> (If I don’t do this, I will regret it
for the rest of my life),” and before I had a chance to respond, his lips were
on mine. My Low German thought said, “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ran
<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">nu de</span> <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">dea</span>
<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">oles</span> <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">waut</span>
du kos!</i> (Run to the door as fast as you can!)” But my body said, “Don’t
move!” and time stood still until seven <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">Plautdietsch</span> </i>words echoed across the dark
sky and yanked me back to reality.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="FR-CA" style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Onn… <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">mamme</span> said du sus nen <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">kum</span>.</i> </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(Anna, Mom says to come inside
now.)”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">El Guero stroked my cheek with his thumb, ran his fingers
through the hair on the back of my head and pulled me in for a tight squeeze.
“Will, I ever see you again?” he asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I don’t know, but I don’t think that I am ever coming back
here again.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="FR-CA" style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Onn… <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">mamme</span> said du sus nen <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">kum</span>.</i> </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(Anna, Mom says to come inside <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">now</b>.)”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ekj <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">woa</span> mess bolt <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">kum</span>!</i>
(I will come in shortly!)” I replied.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You are breaking my heart, Anna. But I understand. Here is
my phone number,” he <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">said,</span> and handed me
a piece of paper.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I have to go inside now.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, I am going to watch for your <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">novela</span> to come out.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I giggled and said, “You'll have to wait for a very long
time.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“For the <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">novela</span> or to
see you again?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Both,” I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me one more time
and said, “Have a safe trip back to Canada.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Thank you,” I replied and ran to the door shaking from head
to toe.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I got back inside and made eye contact with Mom, she
said, “I don’t even want to know who that was.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Na yo,” I replied and went right back to packing my
suitcase.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I had one last argument with my little brothers about being
their sister. I decided just to let it go because I knew if I hadn't won the
argument by now I wasn’t going to. I hugged them all before they went off to
bed. Being hugged by a strange woman who claimed to be their sister was awkward
for all of them. I was okay with it because by that point I had accepted the
fact that awkward was going to be my companion for life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I lay awake all night staring at the
twinkle of light on the ceiling caused by the dimmed oil lamp. I had so many
mixed feelings, and my brain just wouldn’t shut down. I wondered if I would
ever come back again, feeling frustrated and confused about everything.</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> There
I was, twenty years old, and <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">I</span> couldn't
name the feeling <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">I</span> was experiencing when
El Guero kissed me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Thoughts raced through my head: I <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">really</span> need my friend Kristina back; she would be able to tell me.
I am <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">not</b> asking George! Or maybe my
friend Josh would be the right person to talk to about this. No! <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">just</span> get a book, Anna! No one can know about
this!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As I lay there thinking about how amazing El Guero’s kiss
was, guilt did everything in its power to destroy my pleasure. “I’ll probably
never see El Guero again, so this will just be another memory that I will carry
with me wherever I end up, and I am choosing to replace this memory with the
one of Jake Dyck.” Guilt and shame laughed in my face when I thought that. I
fought to hold on to the memory of the <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">short-lived</span>
moment I had <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">experienced</span> with El Guero
until I heard footsteps coming toward me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Onn, <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">bes</span> <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">ol</span> <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">upgewakt</span>? <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">Um</span>
Jap es rid tom <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">farn</span>.</i> (Anna, are you
awake? Uncle Jake is ready to go,)” said <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">Mom</span>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Jo, <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">ekj</span> san <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">mes</span>
rid. </i>(Yes, <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">I’ll</span> be ready shortly,)” I
replied. I got dressed and grabbed my suitcase. Dad was sitting in the rocking
chair in the kitchen with his head down, and when he looked up, I saw tears on
his cheeks. I controlled my desire to hug him, shook his hand and said goodbye.
I fought back my tears as I thought, “I don’t even know this man.” It was very
awkward, and I didn’t know what to say. He had been absent during most of my
visit. We had exchanged few words, and I had never even gotten a chance to ask
him about Posen Land, as I had planned.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Mom accompanied me to Uncle Jake’s truck. I threw my
suitcase into the back of the pickup, hugged Mom quickly and got in as fast as
I could. Izaak hardly had a chance to get out before I trampled over him to get
to the middle of the seat. Izaak and uncle Jake both got out to shake Mom’s
hand. Uncle Jake hopped back into the pickup, looked at me and said, “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Listo</i>?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes!” I replied and held my breath.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Mom waved and said, “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ekj
<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">wanch</span> gunt <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">ne</span> <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">glakelge</span> rez.</i> (I wish
you a safe trip.)”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I made eye contact with her one final time before Uncle Jake
drove off the property. I thought, “Finally!” That ordeal from the bed to the
pickup felt like eternity, and there was an ocean ready to burst through my
eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My thoughts became so dark and depressing that it was hard
to breathe. I felt like I was mourning the death of my entire <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">family,</span> because at that moment I was sure that
I was never going to see any of them ever again. All I could do was listen to
the <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">kethomp</span>, <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">kethomp</span>, <span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">kethomp</span> sound that
the tires made while Uncle Jake silently focused on driving, and Izaak slept. </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Click <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2019/02/i-am-annana.html">here</a> to continue reading my story.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3kX2JB8QminmilbEhJsfphJrqUK1-czDaPrT6agHAmUTaXrlpVXRJi0-hvEhkOYabaGP7eaPhIqjIAU-w7LdS4WyJb2jjseH7Muvo_ZNdEQWPDQaMr_STeDv53YFyy0OFtcm6NyhXuTc/s1600/IMG_20181227_233345_332.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="718" data-original-width="1080" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3kX2JB8QminmilbEhJsfphJrqUK1-czDaPrT6agHAmUTaXrlpVXRJi0-hvEhkOYabaGP7eaPhIqjIAU-w7LdS4WyJb2jjseH7Muvo_ZNdEQWPDQaMr_STeDv53YFyy0OFtcm6NyhXuTc/s320/IMG_20181227_233345_332.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">photo credit to Isaak Wall</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05633106090296282842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5032771919230839417.post-52660605974855339682018-10-09T16:33:00.000-04:002019-01-28T20:02:14.228-05:00A Mennonite “rom-geschwien”<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Continued from <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2018/08/mennonites-and-vampires.html">Mennonites and Vampires</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I woke up the next morning, I was confused about where I was, because I felt like a different person. But when everything that had happened the night before came back to me, I recognized that I was feeling light because I had been carrying a heavy rock with Aaron Newdorf’s name on it my whole life, and now it was gone. I had very little experience with such a feeling. The only thing I could compare it to was the feeling I experienced when I learned that I wasn’t a “hard learner” by receiving the “fastest learner award” in Canada. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As hard as it had been, I felt free and accomplished knowing that I had done the right thing accepting Aaron Newdorf’s apology. It would have been nice if I could have shared it with someone at the time, but I had figured out a way as I had with many other situations when I desperately needed affirmation, reassurance and a hug. I closed my eyes and pictured George wrapping his arms around me, hugging me and telling me, “You did the right thing, Anna. I am so proud of you.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I hugged the blanket and thought, “Because of you, I am going to be okay. Thank you, George,” and when my little sister sat down beside me and said, “<i>Ekj sen nich George, ekj sen Marijke</i>.” I realized that I had said it out loud. But before I was able to explain myself, mom yelled, “It’s time to get up—we have a long day ahead of us!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">She sounded mad; I knew that it was because of my actions in the past few days, and just like that my feelings of accomplishment dropped back to feeling that I was nothing but a disappointment. And that’s how that particular laundry day began.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We all sat around the table and ate breakfast. No words were exchanged; the only sounds around the table were those of the clinking utensils. I kept a close eye on my brothers. As soon as they bowed their heads to say their end-of-meal prayer, I bowed my head, and my prayer was, “Please do not allow an opportunity to be alone with Mom today.” I got up and followed my brothers outside. I helped them pull water from the well and carry it over to the <i>mea grupen</i> to heat it for washing the whites.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My brother John went and drove the pickup that he was working on closer to the house and put on the radio. My heart sank to the ground when he turned the dial to the La Tremenda Santiago radio station, and we heard breaking news about a shooting that had happened in Nuevo Ideal the night before. I couldn't understand everything, but enough to know that there were a few confirmed deaths, many wounded, that it was related to a man named El Chapo and something about drug wars that had been going on for quite some time. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It turned out that everyone in the entire Durango colony was familiar with the name El Chapo except me. The names that were familiar to me were El Guero and Aaron, and that’s when I woke up, and all the strange behavior that had happened the night before came back to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The news scared me to death. I didn’t know what to do or say. It was a very long day indeed. The hours passed slower than they ever had before. We worked our way through the piles of laundry, and I found myself alone with Mom in the kitchen while preparing lunch. She let me have it about going to El Guero’s New Year’s Eve party.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was in so much trouble at that point. My mixed feeling and guilt were eating me alive, and I regretted my decision to sneak around like I had. I felt that I had been very selfish, and I wanted nothing more than for things to be right between Mom and me. I was ready, and needed to hear what she had to say about it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As I stood at the stove with my head hanging down, stirring the noodles, Mom let me have it. “<i>Soan rom geschwien aus dot Heljeowent to Niejoa haft passiet sol dot hea nich nach imol passieren! </i>(That kind of “pigging around” that happened on New Year’s Eve is not to happen here again!)” she said. It was understood that it was directed at me, not my brothers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Dot wuat uke nich!</i> (It won't!)” I answered, never making eye contact with her as I continued stirring the noodles. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As the day went on and the colony gossip grew at a rapid rate, I found myself caught in the middle of two worlds. When word went around that Aaron Neudorf was missing, I stood back and observed how the whole community was concerned only about Aaron’s safe return to his family. That was when I saw how others might see us, because in this situation I was “the other” looking in, as I watched and heard the language that shaped the stories in the community. That’s when I saw a clear picture of how and who we were. It became undeniably clear to me that no other person involved in this was worth our thoughts and prayers. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I considered myself “the other” because I was worried about El Guero. It didn’t matter what the news said, or that I didn’t know or understand much of what was said on the news about him. To me, he was a good person, and I needed him to be alive and well just as the entire Mennonite community needed Aaron to be alive and well. I didn’t see any difference there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As “the other” looking in, I asked myself the question so many people had asked me, “Who are these people?” followed by, “And who the heck are you, Anna?” A dark cloud followed me around for a very long time after that, especially after Aaron Newdorf came home a couple of days later and the incident wasn’t spoken about again, because that was the only ending the community seemed cared about.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As the days faded to dusk time and again, people in the colony moved on. I struggled with not knowing whether El Guero was alive, just as I would have had it been my friend George, Josh, or any other person I had known. That’s when I recognized that I needed to leave, and I began mentally preparing myself for the twenty-four-hour road trip to Texas with my Uncle Jake and cousin Izaak. I went through my stack of pleated dresses and gave one to each of my younger sisters, explaining to Mom that they were too small, and that I could make myself more in Canada. Mom agreed with me, and she had stopped trying to talk me into staying in the colony. She didn’t tell me why, but I know it was because she knew that she had lost me, and that she couldn’t have me living there if she couldn’t convince me to behave in the way she saw fit. I concluded in my mind that if I was far away, then at least she wouldn’t have to witness my sinful behavior. I accepted the fact that if I was going to be “<i>rom geschwieng</i> <i>met mexa </i>(pigging around with Mexicans),” I had no business living in the colony. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">After I’d successfully gotten rid of a bunch of my Mennonite dresses, Mom, my sisters and I sat at the kitchen table during <i>faspa</i> and discussed how the dresses had changed since I had left, but only in the color choices. As I was disagreeing with my little sister about what color looked best on her, Izaak walked in, looking more frazzled than normal, and asked to speak with me. My first thought was, “Oh no! He's going to tell me that El Guero is dead.” Or “Are you ready, because we are leaving at five a.m. sharp tomorrow morning,” because I had no idea when exactly we were leaving. I just knew to be ready, and that it could happen any day at that point. Instead, he said, “I need you to come to Potes with me; we need to take care of some things before our trip back to Texas.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I turned to Mom. She nodded her head, gesturing that it was okay with her, and out the door I went, leaving my half-eaten banana cream pie behind. The thought crossed my mind that I should have just brought my half-eaten pie with me, because the last time I left before finishing what I was eating, it had haunted me for years after. I thought to myself, “You can handle this now, you are stronger now, you can leave a piece of pie behind and not be traumatized by it for years to come. Or can I?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As Izaak sped through the colony, leaving it behind in a cloud of dust, I asked, “Okay Izaak, what is going on?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“A few of us are having a little <i>Dia de Los Reyes</i> celebration by sharing a <i>Rosca de Reyes</i> before we leave, and there is someone there who wants you to cut the <i>Rosca</i>.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My heart began pounding out of my chest as the thought hit me that it could be El Guero. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When we got to a house in the outskirts of Nuevo Ideal, there were a couple of armed men guarding the entrance. When we went inside, I recognized many people that I had met at El Guero’s ranch, but El Guero was nowhere to be seen. El Guero’s cousin Paula greeted me at the door and walked me to the bar, where the bartender had already mixed my favorite drink, the <i>Vampiro,</i> and handed it to me. I was uptight and uneasy until the salty, tangy sweet taste hit my palate, and the red liquid washed all of it away, leaving me with a feeling of ease and weightlessness. I drank the whole thing in one shot; it reminded me of a time I had once watched a calf drink an entire bucket of <i>vaudikj </i>(whey) without stopping to take a breath. When I put the cup down, the bartender handed me another one, winked at me and asked, “Long day?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“YES!” I shouted, and then regretted it immediately after. I thought to myself, “Okay, I have no idea how to act or behave right now.” I held my breath and desperately searched for a familiar face. Then I saw Paula walking toward a table with a large cake that looked like an oval-shaped ring, which I assumed was the cake called <i>Rosca </i>that I was supposed to cut. Sure enough, she gestured to me to come closer. So I took my drink and walked toward her, with everyone gathered around the table.</span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Paula handed me a knife and explained to me that the <i>Rosca</i> had a little plastic doll in it, and whoever got the piece of cake with the doll in it had to throw a party and serve <i>Rosca</i> the next year.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay,” I said and scanned the crowd to figure out how many pieces I needed to cut so that everyone would get a piece. I was just about to slice into the cake when Paula said, “But wait! Before you cut it, we’re waiting for one more person.” I looked up and saw El Guero walking toward me. He didn’t have a scratch on him. He was as calm, tall, confident and perfectly groomed as I remembered him. I wasn’t sure if I could trust my ability to control my emotions if I were to make eye contact with him, so I just stared at his shiny shoes as he walked toward me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">With the knife in my hand, I began shaking as he greeted me with a soft, warm kiss on each of my cheeks, and took the knife from my hand. My emotions became a monster, eager to burst out of me and wreak havoc, but in this case, my years of experience hiding them was beneficial. It helped me tame the monster for the time being. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">El Guero said some things in Spanish, handed me back the knife and asked if I would cut the <i>Rosca</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay,” I answered, took the knife and began cutting the cake with my shaking hand. El Guero took the pieces that I cut, placed them on plates, and handed them to the guests. He served me a piece before he took one for himself.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">He said a few things again before everyone began eating the cake. I just waited until I saw others take a bite and did the same. As I watched the others, including El Guero, eating, I remember comparing the </span><i style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">Rosca</i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"> to the banana cream pie I had eaten shortly before and thinking, “This cake doesn’t have room in my stomach with this monster still in it! It’s really dry, and it doesn't taste that good. I don’t get what all the fuss is about.” I was tempted to give up and put my half-eaten piece down, but then my George-influenced mind said, “Just eat the f#cking cake, Anna!” I forced down each bite, and then I bit into something hard. I took it out of my mouth, and sure enough, I had the piece of cake with the doll in it. Paula shouted something out loudly, and everyone put their plates down and clapped for me. I smiled, but all I could think was, “I just want to hug El Guero and cry!” </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">Click <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2019/01/seven-plautdietsch-words.html">here</a> to continue reading my story.</span><br />
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Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05633106090296282842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5032771919230839417.post-41844419263136597122018-08-24T08:40:00.000-04:002018-10-09T16:35:45.453-04:00Mennonites and Vampires<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Continued from <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2018/08/while-in-mexico.html">While in Mexico</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I quickly sat up and listened carefully, thinking that I could be wrong. But I heard right. It was Aaron Newdorf. He was drinking, socializing and appeared to be having a great time. That bothered me a lot, especially because as long as I’d be hearing him, I wouldn't have any peace. I thought, “How can I stop being afraid of him?” and talked myself out of freaking out. But that was hard work.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I continued stargazing with my little sister. Every time I heard footsteps near us, I panicked. I finished my drink and kept an eye on Izaak, and I thought, “I can really use another drink, and the minute he goes to mix himself one, I’m going to get myself another one too.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When Izaak finally went back to his car, I told Maria that I would be right back, and snuck my way to Izaak’s car. “Hey, can I have another one of those?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Hey! Yeah, sure. Ahhh what’s going on? You look worried.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I am, but the drink will help.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I wasn’t sure if I should tell Izaak about Aaron, because they had been friends for a long time. So I just talked about the car he left me in Canada. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Thanks for letting me use your car. It has helped me out a lot.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I’m glad, and you're welcome.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“But I can’t tell you what shape it will be in when you need it back. My brothers would be disappointed in me if they knew that I have never even opened the hood of your car, or even had an oil change or anything.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Its, okay, Anna. I don’t care if you drive that car into the ground. I am making pretty good money working in Texas; I will just buy another one if I ever come back to Canada.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“But yeah, you should go and have an oil change done on it soon.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Sounds good. I will do that.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, enough about my old car. Why do you look so stressed?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I have had a long day and I really just want to go inside and go to bed, but I can't until my parents’ company leaves.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, is that all? Because I think there’s more to it, and you know that you can tell me, whatever it is.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Ahhh, well, actually you're right. There is a lot more to it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Tell me. What is it?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“It’s more like who, and it’s Aaron Newdorf. What is he doing here anyway?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I knew it! He just showed up. He thinks we are friends just because we go way back and he's got no other friends left.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“But I thought he had a girlfriend in Potes.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“He did, but I think she was a smart one and realized what an asshole Aaron actually is and dumped him.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Oh shit! Good for her. Bad for me.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I don’t know how he manages to make enemies wherever he goes.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I do,” I replied.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I kinda feel sorry for him. Most men our age are married by now. It doesn’t leave him with a lot of friends to hang out with here in the colony. Especially when the holidays are over, and most of us leave.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yeah, that’s true, and it sounds painfully familiar.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Doesn’t it?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Are you still planning on going back to Texas with Uncle Jake and me?” I asked. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, and I can't wait. I’ve had a great time, but I’m ready to get out of here.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, great. I’m glad you're coming,” I replied.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Me too. It'll be fun. I can't wait to take you out and show you around Texas.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I wish we could leave now,” I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Soon enough, Anna,” Izaak said, and laughed as he handed me the drink.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I wonder why Aaron doesn’t go to the states or Canada,” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Actually, Anna, he can’t cross the border.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Why?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I don’t know if everything I have heard is true, but I might as well tell you what I do know for sure. Aaron has gotten into a lot of trouble lately, mostly because of the people that he has gotten involved with. I didn't know if you know, but there are these groups of people.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You mean the narcos?” I interrupted.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yeah.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay so when he told me that I was surrounded by a bunch of narcos at El Guero’s party, he was right?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I thought he was just trying to scare me. I also thought that narcos weren't real. I thought that they were only in movies and telenovelas.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Oh no, Anna, they are real.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My heart began to skip beats as our conversation continued and everything began to make sense.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, so is Aaron involved with El Guero’s people?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“No, it’s a different group. The way I understand is that this group and El Guero’s group are enemies.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“The only reason El Guero’s men let Aaron through the gates of El Guero’s ranch last night was because he is also one of us.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“One of us as a Dietsch?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yeah, that and I think El Guero likes to keep an eye on Aaron in case he gives out any hints on the whereabouts of El Guero’s enemies.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Oh shit!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yeah.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“It sounds like a movie.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yeah, but unfortunately for Aaron, it has become very real. I have a feeling that he is going to get himself in so deep that one day he won't be able to bullshit his way out.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I should have been talking to you a long time ago.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Well, I’m glad you did tonight. When I saw you at El Guero’s party, I wanted to talk to you about this, but I didn’t want you to think that I was telling you what to do or who to be friends with. You have enough people doing that already.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yeah, and thank you!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You’re welcome.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“What about El Guero?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“What about him?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Ahhh, do you know him well?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Ummm…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I know that he likes you, he likes you a lot, and that he would never purposely hurt you. I’m no one to tell you what to do, but given the business he’s in, being around him does put you at risk every time. I don’t know all the details, but there is a lot of bad blood between the people that Aaron is involved with and El Guero.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As I listened to Izaak, things began to make a lot more sense. I began to feel a cold shiver going up my spine, and I thought I was better off not knowing what Izaak had just shared with me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“So that’s why El Guero has that many men with guns around him all the time, in case those guys show up?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Something like that,” and our conversation got interrupted by Maria calling me to come back to the blanket.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, I gotta go. Thanks, Izaak, I’ll talk to you later.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Sure, anytime.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I went back to join Maria on the blanket until my parents’ company left and mom called Maria and my younger brother in. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">After Maria left, I sat there alone and sipped away at my drink. I took a deep breath and lay down and exhaled with a sigh, gazing up at the sparkling, star-filled silver night sky. I felt the tequila massaging its way through my body as I became one with my vampiro. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I briefly closed my eyes, and thought I was having a nightmare when I heard Aaron’s voice say, “I hope you are thinking about me.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I jumped to a seated position and said, “NO!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Aaron sat down beside me anyway, “I really need to talk to you. This might be my last chance.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Do you even know what the word NO means? I think you have YES and NO mixed up!!! No means, don’t sit down.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I’m sorry, Anna.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Go away. I don’t want to talk to you!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I heard him say “I’m sorry” for the second time, I said, “WHAT?” as I jumped up to a standing position.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Aaron stood up. “I’m sorry. I have no excuses. I am an asshole,” he said. He got down on his knees in front of me, placed his hands on my shoes and kept saying, “I’m sorry.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“REALLY?” I asked, as I backed away and hoped that no one was looking in our direction.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“YES, Anna. I’m sorry, I’m sorry for everything!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, okay, just get up!” I said, and sat back down on the blanket.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Aaron sat down facing me, covered his face with his hands, and said, “Look, Anna, I don’t expect you to forgive me just like that, but I just want you to know that I really am sorry for the way I have treated you. I realize that now, and I see how the people you are drawn to treat you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay,” I answered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was in disbelief. I didn’t know if I believed that he was for real or if he was trying to manipulate me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I don’t even know what to say.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You don’t have to say anything. I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I just wanted you to know that I am truly sorry.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">After sitting there for a moment and processing it all, I began to believe that he was being sincere. I thought, “Maybe if I accept his apology I can finally put that stupid mason jar to rest. It's too big and bulky for any purse.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Looking at him sitting there like that, I began to feel sorry for him. I didn’t want to, but I talked myself into accepting his apology. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I looked at him again and thought, “Look at this <i>oma schetat. </i>He seems dead inside. Say something, Anna!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Looking at him and remembering all the horror he put me through, my whole body shivered with disgust.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Maybe you should hit me!” he said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Oh, believe me, I want too!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Anna, I don't want to leave here tonight until I have convinced you that I really am sorry. I wish that I could go back in time and start over, but I can’t.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Dietschjat</i> I hate you!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I know, and that’s what’s killing me.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“But I don’t want to hate you anymore.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, then let me show you how sorry I am and let me give you a hug.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Are you serious?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Wow, you have some nerve!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I will leave right after. I promise.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My heart was pounding. I really wanted to hit him, but in spite of my shaking body and feeling like throwing up, I got up and accepted his request. He got up and looked at me for a moment before putting his arms around me, barely touching me at first. I stood there like an ice sculpture. When he pulled me closer, hugging me tight, I noticed that he was crying.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Thank you,” he said, and dropped his head down as he walked away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He left me standing there speechless and shaking, as I watched him walk away into the darkness, off of Uncle Jake’s property, wondering what the heck had just happened. And why the sudden change in Aaron’s behavior. The whole experience left me with an unfamiliar and odd feeling. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I snuck my way past the crowd of men still standing around the bonfire and walked across the property to my parents’ house. It was quiet in the house. I assumed that everyone was sleeping.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I tippy-toed inside, took my mason jar and snuck back outside. I walked to the back of the property to my dad’s pile of old tractor parts and smashed the mason jar against a rusty old rim.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">On my way back to the house I thought, “I’m going to have to clean that up tomorrow before dad sees the shattered glass.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">I lay down in my bed, focusing on the smell and the twinkling flame of the burning kerosene oil lamp. As my day faded away, I wondered if I could really put Aaron Neudorf behind me for good. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">Click <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2018/10/a-mennonite-rom-geschwien.html">here</a> to continue reading my story.</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-no-proof: yes;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
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Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05633106090296282842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5032771919230839417.post-40472682182395356482018-08-08T09:27:00.000-04:002018-08-24T08:42:58.652-04:00While in Mexico<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Continued from <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2018/06/torn-mennonite.html">Torn Mennonite</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">After a moment of awkward silence, El Guero asked, “Do you like tacos?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, I love tacos.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Excelente!</i>” he said as he pulled over and continued, “How about we send Valentin, to get us some tacos and then go to <i>La Magdalena</i> to eat them? We don’t have to drive far. It’s just behind Patos here. Have you ever been to <i>La Magdalena?</i>”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, yeah, I have been there before. It’s a beautiful place.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Great!” he said as he turned to Valentin and spoke to him in Spanish. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I couldn’t understand much of the conversation; they spoke so fast I didn’t have a chance to process it. Valentin got out of the pickup and walked across the road to a taco stand. While Valentin was ordering tacos, El Guero seemed uneasy and constantly kept an eye on our surroundings. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He acted exactly like I felt on the inside, extremely worried that someone from the colony might see me sitting in El Guero’s pickup. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I felt the relief that washed away El Guero’s apprehension when Valentin climbed back into the pickup with the tacos. As soon as Valentin closed the door, El Guero stepped on the gas, leaving Patos behind in a cloud of dust.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">A couple of minutes later we were parked at the dried-up river at <i>La Magdalena</i>. Valentin got out first, and looked around before opening the door for me. He walked to the back of the pickup, where he briefly spoke to El Guero before opening the tailgate of the pickup. He grabbed a couple of beers from a cooler and handed them to El Guero. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We left Valentin behind at the pickup and walked past an abandoned house that was ruined by Mexico’s harsh weather. I followed El Guero to a tree in the middle of the dried-up river that had big rocks under it. El Guero turned to me and asked, “How about this table?” while he pointed to a smooth rock with a flat surface. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I want that table. It's perfect,” I replied. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He placed the bag of food and the beers in the center of the rock. “Have a seat,” he said, as he sat down cross-legged on the rock facing me. I climbed on the rock and struggled to get in a comfortable position in my pleated dress. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He sat and patiently waited until I had positioned myself, covered my legs and stopped squirming. He looked at me, smiled, and asked, “<i>Listo?</i> (Ready?)” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I think so.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">El Guero opened a beer and handed it to me, and then opened one for himself. He held up his beer and said, “<i>Salud… a una comida sin interrupciones con la Guerita más valiente y hermosa que jamás haya conocido</i>. (To an undisturbed meal with the bravest, most beautiful Guerita I have ever met.)”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay,” I replied as he tapped my beer, making a clinking sound that echoed through the dried-up riverbed. We both took a sip of beer. I just watched him as he put down his beer, took the food out of the plastic bag and unwrapped the tinfoil from the square foam plate holding the tacos. He handed me the first plate he unwrapped.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Thank you,” I said and took the opportunity to quickly sneak in my mealtime prayer quietly in my head while he unwrapped his plate, placed all the little containers of salsa in front of me and placed a plastic spoon into each of them. By the time he placed the napkins down, I had repeated my prayer seven times. I figured it couldn’t hurt, because I had a feeling that any joy I was experiencing was going to come back and haunt me later. When I looked over at Valentin and saw him standing there so wide legged, with a pistol hanging down from his belt, I thought, “Maybe I should have said a few more prayers.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Is he waiting for someone?” I asked El Guero.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“No, not really, he's just watching over us.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, but why?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Well, some people aren't happy that I am here in Patos. Just try to ignore him.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I will tell you more about that another time. Remember when you told me how you wish that you could disappear and then come back as Isabell Lopez?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Well, this is kind of the same: today I want to forget who I have become, what I do, and just be an average dude who’s lucky enough to be able to enjoy a meal with a beautiful menona.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I just smiled and stared at him as he began eating, admiring his neat and clean eating technique. I didn’t hear a single <i>schlirps</i> or <i>schmaks </i>coming from<i> </i>El Guero,<i> </i>while I was very self-conscious about eating in front of him. The harder I tried to eat a taco and keep it from getting sloppy and all over my dress, the messier it got.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Finally, I just gave up and enjoyed the tacos. After I had used up all my napkins, El Guero smiled and kept handing me the ones he didn’t need.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">El Guero’s masculinity became overwhelmingly attractive. I was happy to be a woman in his presence; I forgot all about wishing that I was a man earlier that day. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">While El Guero gathered our garbage, I drank the last sip of my beer. I turned around to face the mountains and repositioned myself. El Guero jumped off the rock, tied up the bag of garbage, put it aside and sat down right beside me. My heart began pounding out of my chest. After processing the fact that he was just sitting beside me, I leaned my head on his shoulder and said, “Thank you for the tacos; they were so good.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You're welcome!” he replied, putting his arm around me and gently rubbing it up and down. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And just like that, my anxiety returned. I instantly froze. I didn’t dare move or turn my head to look at him. I put all my energy into not acting like an ice sculpture as we sat there in silence, watching the few clouds in the sky change from white to pink and then to orange as the sun slid behind the mountains of Nuevo Ideal. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It was anything but silent in my head as my thoughts repeated, “Don’t freak out! I shouldn’t be here, just breathe, <i>dietschjat </i>he smells good! Just be here, look at those clouds! Breathe, Anna! Breathe!” The whole time, we were sitting on that rock.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I gave up on shutting down my thoughts, I said, “I should get going. My parents should be home by now, and my uncle probably needs his truck back. And I was supposed to bring him a six-pack. What time does the beer store close?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">El Guero took a deep breath that sounded like a disappointing sigh when he exhaled. I knew it was because, by letting those stupid words out of my mouth, I had ruined a perfect moment that we would never get back. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">On top of all the anxiety I carried around about being alone with a man from my past experiences, I had taken on some of the anxiety that people had around the beer store's hours of operation in Canada. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Oh Anna, the beer store doesn't close, especially not when I am the customer,” he replied and turned to face me. He placed his hands on either side of my face, rubbing my cheeks with his thumbs and said, “Anna, I recognize that you must be experiencing this very differently than I am. So thank you for this.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I just took a deep breath, and this time kept my thoughts to myself, allowing the sound of his voice to linger in the air as long as possible.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When thing got quiet again, I thought, “My expectations are always bad, and I always let them ruin things.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Alright Anna, let's get you home,” he said as he gently squeezed me against him before jumping off the rock. He stepped back and held out his hand for me to hold onto, helping me jump off the rock. He picked up our beer bottles, tossed them into the garbage bag, and walked me back to his pickup. Valentin was still standing as he had been when we left him there. As El Guero tossed the bag of garbage onto the back of the pickup, Valentin opened the door for me, and off we went, back to Patos.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">El Guero drove around the back of Nuevo Ideal to the beer store where I had parked Uncle Jake’s pickup. The men were still standing around the pickup, just as they did when we left. They all backed away, giving us space to park and get out. One of the men came to my side to open the door for me, while another opened the door for El Guero. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">El Guero spoke briefly to the man who had opened the door for him, and that’s when the look on his face changed. It looked like he had just received bad news that he wasn’t prepared for. El Guero quickly raised his arm, snapped his fingers, pointed to the back of the pickup, and shouted something in Spanish. He walked me around to Uncle Jake’s truck, and by the time he closed the door for me, one of the men had brought a six-pack of Tecate for me to bring to Uncle Jake.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You should go now, before it gets too dark. Drive safe, and I hope to see you again before you go back to Canada.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, thanks,” I replied, as I backed out and drove off, back to the colony.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It all happened so fast. While driving back to the colony, I couldn’t help but wonder what was going on. It seemed as though El Guero and all the men were eager to get me out of there as quickly as possible. But I was more nervous about facing my family than about any reasons I could think of why El Guero and his men couldn’t get me out of Nuevo Ideal fast enough. But when I pulled up to Uncle Jake’s property, all was well in the colony. My parents had company, my little brothers were chasing the last few chickens into the coop with their friends, Uncle Jake had made a bonfire and was barbequing steaks. I was relieved to see my brothers and my cousin Izaak standing in the crowd of men around the fire. I didn’t see Uncle Jake’s <i>Mexa megal</i> friend anywhere in the crowd.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I walked up to Uncle Jake and handed him his keys and the six-pack.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Thank you, Anna.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You’re welcome, and thanks for letting me borrow your truck.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Dot es gonz got</i>. (It’s all good.)”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I went and joined Izaak and my brothers by the bonfire. They were all drinking, and having a great time. When Izaak saw me, his face lit up; he opened his arms and received me with a warm and welcoming hug.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“How are you? I haven't seen you much.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I’m okay. Trying to make the best out of this trip and enjoy myself as much as I can, which isn’t easy, you know.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Aw, it’s pretty easy for me. I am having the best time.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yeah, I’m so jealous of you. It's so much easier for you because you are a man.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I know, prima, that’s true,” he replied, while giving me a sympathetic hug and walked me to his car. He mixed me a strong vampiro. Izaak had decided that I needed a strong drink and just handed it to me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My sister Maria interrupted our conversation to invite me to come and join her on the blanket that she had carefully placed on the ground near the bonfire. I took my drink and followed her. I lay down beside her, exhaled a sigh of relief, looked up at the sparkling, star-filled night sky and thought, “Wow, incredible!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Everyone was busy visiting. During a quiet moment, I heard a haunting and familiar laugh echoing through the crowd. And just like that, all my anxiety returned, times a thousand. I thought, “NOOOOO! This would have been the perfect ending to this New Year’s day, but NO, not in your stupid life, Anna!” </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">Click <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2018/08/mennonites-and-vampires.html">here</a> to continue reading my story.</span><br />
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Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05633106090296282842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5032771919230839417.post-54357514492146865012018-06-28T07:49:00.000-04:002018-08-08T09:30:06.618-04:00Torn Mennonite<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Continued from <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2018/05/the-dietsch-and-mexa.html">The Dietsch and the Mexa</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I already knew some of the answers to my questions, but I wanted to talk about it anyways to see if there was a sliver of hope that things might have changed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“What if the <i>Mexa</i> looks <i>Dietsch</i>?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“It's not about that; a <i>Mexa</i> is a <i>Mexa,</i> no matter what.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“How about an <i>Enjlenda</i> (a Canadian) ? They look almost exactly like us, and for all we know, they could be <i>Dietsch</i>.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“No, Anna. The answer is still no.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I wanted to cry as I felt my heart breaking into pieces—especially having met many non-<i>Dietsch</i> men who had proven to me that I didn’t have to fear them. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The girls giggled a lot; I assumed that it was because I had made them uncomfortable asking them so many questions. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We noticed a dark-colored pickup slowly driving toward my parents' house. I had a strong feeling that it was El Guero. When the pickup came driving towards us, and we couldn’t see who was driving because of the tinted windows, we got up and ran like the <i>Jriese Diesta</i> (Ogre of Darkness) was chasing us, just as we were taught to do ever since I could remember.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It sure didn’t feel as natural to me as it had before I had left the colony. It didn’t feel like we were running away from danger to safety, as it had before, when we were in a situation like that. Now it had become quite the opposite for me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Even though I couldn’t physically see Aaron Newdorf behind the barn where we hid, I sensed him everywhere. We peeked around the corner of the barn and watched the pickup turn around and leave. I felt like a bigger hypocrite than I had the night before at El Guero’s ranch, when I had had doubts about the choice I had made to go there. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My torn feelings got the better of me, and it became very real. We suddenly ran out of things to giggle about. When it got quiet and awkward, they suggested we go inside and have <i>faspa.</i> Not because it was special and we loved it—as I had realized while in Canada and missing it—but to sober up before the parents came home for <i>besorj tiet</i> (chore time).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">While sitting at their table between those girls, things got serious for me. I had a hard time taming my emotions. As I took a bite of their perfectly shaped and delicious baked goods that I knew they had slaved over the day before, I reminded myself to enjoy every second of it. At that moment my entire life flashed before my eyes as I thought about the one single decision I had made that changed everything. My truth washed down with every sip of coffee I swallowed. It became clear to me that I would be living a double life forever, whether I lived in Canada or Mexico. I realized that it wasn’t the place I was in, it was me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We cleared the table and went to their room. We looked at the few photos they had of us before I left. We sat down carefully on their perfectly made bed so that we wouldn’t mess up the floral bedspread, and reminisced about the time one of the girls in our youth group had brought a camera back from Canada—and how we made a pact to keep it a secret from our parents. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">They asked me about my life in Canada, and if the rumors were true that I was going to stay in the colony. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“In a way, I wish I could stay here. There are many parts of this that I miss every day, but it would be very hard for me to come back to living like this.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Is it because of that schwwww… ahh, boyfriend, you have in Canada?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“George? Oh, you girls have no idea,” I said in English. They both looked at me and asked, “<i>Waut </i>(what) ?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Oh,</i></span><i> </i><i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">nuscht</span></i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> (Oh, nothing) ,” I answered, pretending that I had not done that on purpose, and switching back to <i>Dietsch.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Sadly, George thinks he’s free as a bird, but little does he know that he’s all mine, you know,” I explained, and we awkwardly giggled again. They knew that I was being sarcastic and just going along with the rumors that they had heard about me. I didn’t even have the <i>Dietsch</i> vocabulary to explain George’s role in my life to them. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I remembered that George always told me that we couldn’t control what people thought about us, so I decided that I wouldn’t even try to defend myself against the rumors, and just leave it alone.<i><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Shortly after their parents came home, the girls walked me back to the street, and when they said, “See you again,” I smiled and said, “Yes,” but I thought, “I really hope so.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">On my way home, I walked past the fence where I had gotten away from Aaron Neudorf the first time. I stopped and looked around to see if anyone might see me. When I didn’t see anyone, I sat down and leaned against the fence. I felt brave and vulnerable sitting there by myself without a mason jar. I wondered what exactly El Guero had told Aaron, and thought how nice it would be if I could actually leave that behind me for good. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Sitting there, I also remembered the many good times I had experienced there. That was the same fence where I had spent every Sunday with my friends, admiring the conference Mennonite youth while watching them play volleyball. I spent a lot of time wondering what was so bad about playing volleyball, and why we weren't allowed to play, which all seemed so silly, thinking about that after leaving the colony and coming back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Spending time with the Beuckert girls awakened the idea of finding a way to weave the many pieces of my life together, because the string that threaded one experience to the next tied them all together, no matter how different they were. I didn’t want the string to break, but it seemed impossible.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I got up, gave my head a shake, wiped the dust off my pleats and started walking home. Along the way, I passed a group of young boys. They stared at me, giggled, and asked, “<i>Has dien umpkje fabesilt</i> (Did you lose your husband)?” meaning I was too old to be on their street on a Sunday afternoon. I had no business being there, now that it belonged to them, the next generation of “Aaron Neudorfs.” Their words hurt a lot, because I still thought that I had every right to be there. But I felt somewhat empowered at the same time; I had a strong feeling that one day I would meet them on the other side. Maybe it was the last of the mescal making its way through my system, or maybe it was the idea that I might be able to put Aaron Neudorf behind me for good, thanks to El Guero. I took a deep breath, held my head up high and kept walking like I was exactly where I was supposed to be. It was nerve-wracking, but I found it extremely therapeutic.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">By the time I got home, I was gasping for air; it was so dry and hot. No one else was home yet. As I washed my face with cold water, I realized that I didn’t have many more days left in Mexico, and I wanted to make the most of the time I had there. I wanted to experience driving to Patos my myself again. I looked through the window and noticed Uncle Jake’s pickup was parked in front of his house, so I went to ask if I could borrow it to go for a drive. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I'll be right there,” yelled Uncle Jake after I knocked on the door. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I heard a woman laughing, and when Uncle Jake opened the door, I saw a <i>Mexamejal </i>(a Mexican woman) sitting in his bed covering herself with a sheet, and it wasn’t because it was cold.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I thought, “Yep! And I am the <i>schtruns!</i>” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I reminded myself again, “Anna, don’t hate him just because he's a man and you’re not!” And as I thought it, I realized that I had been reminding myself of that a lot during my time in Mexico. After a moment of awkwardness, I asked, “Can I borrow your truck to go to Patos?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yeah, sure, if you bring me back a six-pack of Tecate,” he said, as he turned around, grabbed the keys, and handed them to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, yeah, I can do that.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Thanks, and take your time!” he yelled as I ran to the pickup.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I drove a bit more confidently this time than I had the time before. And before I knew it, I had arrived in Patos, because all I had thought during the entire drive was, “I should have been born a man! Why? Why wasn’t I born a man?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I drove around the Plaza a few times, parked, walked across the street, and bought myself an <i>agua fresca. <o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">While sitting in Uncle Jake’s pickup and enjoying the <i>agua fresca</i>, I noticed the same truck driving past that had been to the colony earlier. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I decided that I would go for a drive to Neustadt, the village where my grandparents had lived. As soon as I pulled out, I noticed the pickup following me. I got scared and fled. The pickup followed me through a few villages, but when the dust cloud behind me disappeared, so had the pickup. Luckily, it was chore time, and no one was on the streets in the villages that I went through. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">By the time I had made it to Neustadt, my heartbeat had slowed down, and I slowly drove passed the homestead which used to belong to my grandparents. The windmill that had haunted my dreams was broken, but still standing. Looking at it this time, it didn’t seem as tall as it did the day <i>Fula</i> passed, or in my nightmares.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I shed a few tears remembering and missing <i>Fula</i>. When the silence in the village made me feel very alone, I decided that it was time to go back to Patos, buy uncle Jake’s beer, and head back to my village.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I parked in front of a beer store, and when I looked up as I was about to open the door, the pickup that had followed me was parked beside me. The window rolled down, and when I saw El Guero’s face looking right at me, my heart dropped to the ground. He gestured for me to roll down the window, so I did.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Hola chica</i> (Hey girl).”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Heyyyy!” I replied.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“¿Que pasó (What happened)? Is this how you treat your friends?” he asked as he pulled down and peeked over his sunglasses.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Gasping for air, I tried to come up with a good answer, but all that fell out of my mouth was, “<i>Ha li dietschjat!</i> That was you?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Oh no!” I said, and covered my face with my hands.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He got out of the pickup, walked over, and leaned against the door of Uncle Jake’s pickup. He took off his sunglasses and said, “Okay, don’t do that, let me see your face.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I slowly pulled my fingers apart, peeked through them and made eye contact.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“My feelings are hurt, and I'm willing to work it out, but I need to see your face when I'm talking to you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I slid my hands up and over my head as I said, “I’m sorry?” and held my breath.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“That’s a start, but you can make it up to me by accepting my invitation to come and have dinner with me.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay,” I hesitantly replied.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He opened the door and waited while I rolled up the window. “Is it safe to leave Uncle Jake’s pickup here?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes! These men will stay here and guard it,” he said. He turned around and made a hand gesture, and three men climbed out of his pickup. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My heart tried to escape my chest as I said, “Okay,” climbed into his brand new, shiny, clean pickup and discovered that there was still one man sitting in the back seat. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I watched El Guero talk to the men as I inhaled a breath of clean air that had a foreign scent to it. El Guero climbed in and said, “Anna, this is Valentin. He goes whereever I go.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay,” I said as I made eye contact with</span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Valentin and waved to him, while El Guero backed out of the parking spot.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">All I could do while reminding myself to breathe was stare at El Guero’s gold watch sliding up and down his wrist, and watch it hit his perfectly smooth and flawless hand every time he shifted gears. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I had no idea where we were going; my heart was pounding out of my chest when I remembered my friends, the Beuckert sisters, and that I was supposed to run away, not get into a truck and go with these men. It was hard work talking myself out of being afraid. But I reminded myself that I was with the same man who had saved me from Aaron Newdorf the night before. And the same man I had been able to talk to about things I had never talked about with anyone before. And I was eager to do it again, especially after the day I had had. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“So, how are you, Anna?” he asked as he drove.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Ahhh, I’m not sure.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You want to tell me about it?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Well, I have experienced a lot over the last twenty-four hours. And um…”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">“Okay Anna, I know that this may seem strangely foreign to you, but you can relax. We are just going out to eat. It’s a perfectly normal thing people do around here.” </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">Click <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2018/08/while-in-mexico.html">here</a> to continue reading my story.</span><br />
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Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05633106090296282842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5032771919230839417.post-33574649498747627222018-05-31T08:42:00.000-04:002018-06-28T07:51:18.646-04:00The Dietsch and the Mexa<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Continued from <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2018/04/moonlight-misery.html">Moonlight misery</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Near the end of the song, when fireworks began lighting up the sky above us, El Guero looked at his watch and said, “Okay, Anna it’s time for the countdown.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He put his arm around my waist and walked me back to the crowd at the campfire, where I met up with Paula and Alexandra. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I stood back and watched as everyone counted down the seconds to the new year. Cheering, clinking glasses, and shouting of <i>Feliz Año Nuevo</i> echoed through the banging of the fireworks around the campfire. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I stayed behind with Paula and Alexandra while the men went to the back of the property with their guns to shoot away the old year. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I wanted to know why the men were shooting up in the air, but Paula and Alexandra were more interested in learning how to say Happy New Year in Low German. I practiced with them a few times and explained why ‘<i>Freelich Niejoa</i>’ sounded so unnatural. It just didn’t roll off the tongue like Happy New Year and <i>Feliz Año Nuevo</i>. I explained that it might be because we never said Happy New Year to each other in Low German. Other than the church service in the morning, New Year’s wasn’t that big of a deal in the colony.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We made our way back to the bar, where Paula mixed us drinks.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Paula, why aren't there more women here?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“The dance in Nuevo Ideal, that’s where all the women are tonight.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay,” I answered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I took a sip of my drink, trying really hard to keep a smile on my face, but it was becoming difficult work, knowing how far away from the colony I was. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When the gunshot sounds stopped, the men came back to the bar for drinks. I went straight to my brother and said, “It's time to go home.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, just let me go grab my jacket,” he replied.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As I said, “Okay, I’ll wait here,” I heard a familiar voice behind me. “Happy New Year, Anna.” It was my friend Javier.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Hey! Happy New Year! Are you having a good time? It sounds like you missed a good dance in Nuevo Ideal,” I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, I am. I still plan on going to the dance. It’s going on all night; you wanna come?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“No, sorry, I have to go home.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, did you have a good time tonight?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, well, most of the night. This is all kind of strange to me.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I bet it is,” he said as my brother came back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Ready?” my brother asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“What, you are leaving?” asked El Guero as he approached us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, we have to head back to the colony,” explained my brother.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, but can I steal your sister for a bit before you go?” El Guero asked my brother.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="FR-CA" style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Claro que si</i></span><i><span lang="FR-CA"> </span></i><i><span lang="FR-CA" style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">carnal</span></i><span lang="FR-CA" style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">.” (Yes, of course.)”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Let’s go for a walk,” El Guero suggested.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We walked along the laneway toward the entrance gate.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I’m sad that you are leaving, Anna.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Me too, but I have to get back to the colony. I can feel how worried my mom is right now.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, yes, I understand. Could I see you again, maybe tomorrow, or I mean later today?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Maybe. Won't you be sleeping?” I asked, and we both laughed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Maybe a little. How about I come to Hamburgo?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I’m not sure if that’s a good idea. I don’t know what my family will be doing later today.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, how about I drive by and see.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Do your parents know that you are here?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, but they think I'm just having dinner with Paula.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Ay caramba!</i>” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I know! By now they must be thinking that we are eating a whole cow,” I said, and he laughed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Bueno pues</i> (well then), let 's get you home,” he said. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We turned around and walked back to meet my brother at the pickup. El Guero opened the door, helped me up, and closed the door. He walked around to the driver’s side and spoke to my brother before we left. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">On the way home, my brother turned up his favorite tunes by Ramon Ayala. I was glad, because I didn’t know what I wanted to talk to him about. I was happy just listening to music while looking out at the moonlit desert as he drove back to the colony. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My brother turned off the music when he turned onto the dirt road entering the colony, and turned off the headlights as he slowly drove onto our driveway. We carefully pushed the doors closed on the pickup, so we wouldn’t wake our parents.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My heart pounded out of my chest as we snuck in on our tippy toes. The kitchen was dimly lit by a twinkling oil lamp. Just as I thought we had successfully snuck in without notice, dad asked, “<i>Wea kampt nu?</i> (Who’s coming now?)”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">John and I both instantly froze in our tracks. I held my breath until John answered, “<i>Ekj and Onn.</i>” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Fuatz schlopen gon!</i> (Go to sleep this instant!)” yelled Dad.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Nah jo we woaren </i>(Okay, we will),” answered John.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The next morning I woke up to the smell of Pine Sol and my little sister playing with my hair. Everyone else was up, mom and dad had gone to church. Sara and Agatha were washing the floors and prepping for lunch. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I quickly got up; Maria helped me make the bed. I washed my face, combed my hair, and put it in a bun. My sisters stopped working and sat down beside me at the table while I had a coffee and a piece of banana cream pie for breakfast.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“What are the plans for today after lunch?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“We are going to a far away lake with our aunts and uncles to have a fish fry. You should come too.” Explained Maria. “Can you swim?” she asked. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“No, I can’t swim. Can you?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“No, but I want to learn,” she answered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Are you girls going with?” I asked Agatha and Sara.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“No, we are going to the mountains with our friends,” said Agatha.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, I think I will just stay home,” I said as mom walked in. I didn’t make eye contact with her. She went straight to her room and changed out of her church clothes. My sisters and I began setting the table for lunch.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was relieved that Uncle Jake joined us for lunch. It was a good distraction. Dad didn’t say much, as usual. Mom was very disappointed; I could feel it. She just hadn't had an opportunity to tell me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">While cleaning up after lunch, mom offered that I could come to the lake if I wanted to, but I said, “No, I don’t mind having a quiet afternoon to myself.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">After everyone left, I went outside. I sat down on the buggy seat and embraced the warmth of the sun hugging my skin. It was a perfectly still, beautiful, clear, sunny afternoon. I couldn’t stop thinking about the experience I had had the night before. I was exhausted. It felt like I had experienced a whole month of emotions all in one night. I was still processing it and not sure what to do with all of it or how to find my place in it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I went back inside and lay down on my sister’s perfectly made bed. I tried hard to push everything else out of my mind and just focus on how much more attractive El Guero had gotten after spending all that time with him. But my thoughts just couldn’t leave me with that. I dozed off, and had an out-of-body experience similar to the one I had when I learned that I had to have a SIN card to open a bank account in Canada. And Aaron Newdorf was the man who was suffocating me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I heard voices and footsteps. “It's El Guero! No, it’s Aaron! It’s El Guero! No, it’s Aaron!” My thoughts went back and forth, but I couldn’t move. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">A loud knock at the door startled me enough to jolt me awake. I sat there thinking that it was all a dream, but then I heard another knock at the door. I slowly made my way to the door on my tippy toes, fearing that I would see Aaron Neudorf's face. But when I got closer to the door, I saw the Beuckert sisters standing there giggling.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I opened the door. They were so happy to see me. “<i>Anna, wot shofst? Wes guecht mat uns makoom up de goos supen</i>? (Anna, what are you doing, don’t you want to come and join us on the street and drink?)</span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Ahhh…Um… I would like to, but what will people think?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Nobody cares. We are the only two girls in Hamburg today; everyone else went to the mountains.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“What? Why didn’t you go?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“We are too old. We don’t fit in with the younger crowd.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“They all went to the mountains with their boyfriends.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Oh, okay, I get it, you know what? I will! Just let me change into my other dress.”<u><o:p></o:p></u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">While I changed into one of my pleated Sunday dresses that I had left behind, I thought, “If El Guero actually comes to the colony to visit me, he won't recognize me dressed like this,” followed by, “He's not going to come anyway.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As we walked to that tree where we had made so many memories, I had to fight back the tears, as it felt like I had woken up from the longest dream. It felt like everything that I had lived was not real. At that moment, I happily drank the drink Helena had poured me. It was mescal mixed with coke, and it was about half and half. I instantly felt the warmth travel through my veins. It was a pleasant, numbing feeling. It helped ease the thought in the back of my mind that Aaron Neudorf could show up at any time. I was mentally preparing myself to face him again, knowing that he was probably triple pissed off at me. In the colony, I had no one by my side defending me against him. In Canada, I had a ‘schwenagel’ protecting me, and outside of the colony in Mexico, I had a ‘narco’ protecting me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I wanted so badly to share that with those girls, but I couldn’t risk it. I thought that they might see it as me trying to poison their minds against the Mennonite way. I didn’t want to chance it, especially after thinking that I would never see them again when I left for Canada. I grew fonder of those girls by the minute; not only did they share their mescal with me, they also shared their sunflower seeds. It eased some of the guilt I felt for leaving them behind. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I smiled so much, knowing very well that I was lucky to have that experience with those girls one more time. I wondered what they would say, or if they would still speak to me if they knew where I had been the night before. I knew full well that it would be impossible to put my experience into Low German words.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Since they had been part of the ‘watermelon seed’ crises we experienced during our youth, I thought I would test the waters a little to see what might happen if I brought up another taboo subject. Even though we had matured in different areas since then, I thought if my ideas were too far out of the colony, I could still write it off as silly talk.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I felt my face turning beet red and my heart pounding out of my chest as I asked, “Since there aren't many men left in our colony that are our age, would you girls ever date a <i>Mexa</i> (a Mexican)?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Noooo!” they both answered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Why not?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Well, some of them look very nice and all, but what’s the point? We can’t marry a <i>Mexa</i> anyway.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yeah, I know. But what if you just did?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Oh, Anna, don’t you know? We don’t mix!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yeah, I know, but what would be so bad about mixing?”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">“Aside from it being the biggest sin we could commit, we wouldn’t be able to live here in the <i>d</i><i>arp </i>(</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Mennonite village,) </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">and we heard that when a </span><i style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">Dietsch</i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"> woman receives the seed of a </span><i style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">Mexa</i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">, she pays for her sin during childbirth, and she could die. It happened to </span>a <span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"><i>Dietsch</i> woman </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">while you were in Canada; she suffered the worst horror any woman has ever experienced during childbirth. She almost died,” they explained. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">Click <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2018/06/torn-mennonite.html">here</a> to continue reading my story.</span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgNEmhtspS9bBTWbGKB7bwuZ1Nz0WGMHor9eEu5KooP6MUNqqH1EyFOMDHLh6-5E9GOFuPoB_N-fwI5uqN71tkDwBqW2OugXjGFG3DdyFOA654zQZynchHpsv8cxRAvwPfTlrbVoAuGaA/s1600/12373379_1201911273170847_4849566003618652163_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="951" data-original-width="960" height="317" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgNEmhtspS9bBTWbGKB7bwuZ1Nz0WGMHor9eEu5KooP6MUNqqH1EyFOMDHLh6-5E9GOFuPoB_N-fwI5uqN71tkDwBqW2OugXjGFG3DdyFOA654zQZynchHpsv8cxRAvwPfTlrbVoAuGaA/s320/12373379_1201911273170847_4849566003618652163_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">photo credit to<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> <span style="background-color: #eff1f3; color: #365899; cursor: pointer; font-size: xx-small; font-weight: 600; text-align: left;"><a aria-describedby="js_97j" aria-owns="js_978" class=" UFICommentActorName" data-ft="{"tn":";"}" data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/hovercard.php?id=100000559588701&extragetparams=%7B%22is_public%22%3Afalse%2C%22hc_location%22%3A%22ufi%22%7D" dir="ltr" href="https://www.facebook.com/dietschamexa?fref=ufi" id="js_97k" style="background-color: #eff1f3; color: #365899; cursor: pointer; font-weight: 600; text-align: left;" target="_self">Plautdietsch Lowgerman</a></span></span></td></tr>
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Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05633106090296282842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5032771919230839417.post-48480093856819830142018-04-19T21:08:00.000-04:002018-05-31T08:45:13.953-04:00Moonlight misery<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Continued from <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2018/04/brave-mennonite.html">Brave Mennonite</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I froze and instantly felt sick to my stomach when I saw that it was Aaron Newdorf. He looked so much taller and stronger than the last time I had seen him. I turned around and went back upstairs, I found my way back to Paula’s room, ran to the bathroom and threw up. I rinsed my mouth, washed my face and stared at myself in the mirror again. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“What are you going to do Anna?” I asked myself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You can’t hide up here all night. <i>Caramba</i> Anna, you're so stupid, what were you thinking? You shouldn’t have come here. It's too late now, and you won't have a choice but to face him! This is not worth the trouble you will face when you get home. <i>Deitschjat noch mol ent!</i> I f#@*ing hate your life, Anna!” I thought out loud as the tears rolled down my cheeks. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I sat down on Paula’s bed and basked in my sorrow for a while. I took a few deep breaths, wiped the tears off my face and walked back into the hallway. I found my way back to the balcony where I had had a great time visiting with El Guero earlier. I walked over to the edge of the balcony and leaned against the steel railing. The moon shone bright, and the silver stars sparkled in the clear night sky. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“How is it possible to feel such misery in such a beautiful setting?” I thought. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The horses waved their tails, and their neighs echoed through the night sky. I imagined being a crow, and flying away. The horses’</span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">neighs echoed my thoughts across the mountains to</span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">the last time I could remember that I felt guiltless happiness. It was a night just like this one, in <i>Neustaedt</i>, at my grandparents’ farm. It was before my <i>fula</i> had passed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My father had gone on a mysterious trip for a couple of days. Mom dressed us all in our best clothes, and we all got to go on a city bus. The bus ride seemed very long because we got stared at so much. It might have been an unusual first for a <i>Dietsch</i> mom to take her children on a city bus by herself. The bus took us as far as the main highway went to</span> <i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Neustaedt,</span></i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> and we walked the rest of the way. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I remember it being a very long, dusty gravel road and that it was extremely hot that day. After walking what seemed like forever to me, we all sat down under a bush, ate <i>tweebak</i> and shared a Pepsi. When we finally arrived, <i>fula,</i> <i>groosmama,</i> and mom’s three youngest siblings still living at home happily greeted us with a handshake. To my surprise we ended up spending the night. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We didn’t get to visit often, but when we did, I followed <i>fula</i> everywhere he went. I had bee fascinated by him ever since I could remember. I always helped him with his chores. After supper, when all the chores were done, while mom and <i>groosmama</i> did the dishes, <i>fula s</i>at on his rocking chair outside and watched us play <i>plinsa</i> (hide and seek.) I went and hid under the windmill. I remember looking up at the moon that night and thinking that the windmill was so tall, if I climbed to the top of it, I should be able to touch the moon. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Now, standing up there on that balcony under the bright moonlight and sparkling stars, with the smell and sound of the horses, it felt like what had happened since the time with <i>fula</i> was just a dream. And at that moment I wished that it was. I wished that I could wake up at my grandparents’ farm the next morning as that little girl, and not have to face Aaron. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I could wish and dream all I wanted. Aaron still found me. My heart fell off the balcony when he suddenly appeared behind me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="FR-CA" style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>So, hea faschtakts du de dan</i>? </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(So this is where you've been hiding?)” he asked. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Aaron went on and spoke to me in Low German.“You are so stupid, Anna! This explains why you are still going to school in Canada.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I turned around and looked at him, I put all my energy into hiding my facial expressions when my thoughts agreed with his words. I pretended that I wasn’t as afraid of him as I actually was after looking at him again. He seemed different, not just bigger and stronger, but his voice sounded so deep, strong, and masculine. He wasn’t a boy anymore, he was a full grown man. I began to seriously doubt my ability to fight him off one more time. I was beginning to think that I would stand a better chance against a mountain lion at that point. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You thought by coming up here you would get away from me, but it’s perfect—up here we’re all alone, and no one will hear you screaming. You’re not so brave now without your <i>schwenagel</i> man by your side protecting you, are you?”</span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">he said as he took a few steps closer toward me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Hearing Aaron talk about my dearest friend George in such a disgraceful manner, I just couldn’t stop the tears. It sounded worse because he said it in Low German.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“What is wrong with you, why can't you just leave me alone?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Whats wrong with me? No no no no! What’s wrong with you? Do you have any idea who these people are?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I just stared at him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You are surrounded by a bunch of narcos! No one here is going to help you.<i>Vondoag es dien toldach! </i>(Today is your payday!) You are going to pay for what you did to my friends and me in Canada,” he explained, and took another step closer, to the point where I could see his bloodshot eyes. It looked like he was possessed by some dark force. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Just as I took a few steps back behind the patio table, I saw El Guero pulling back the patio curtain. “Here you are, Anna. I've been looking for you,” he said. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When he saw Aaron standing there and the frightened look on my face, he realized that something was wrong. He came closer to me and asked, “<i>¿Que está pasando aqui?</i> (What's going on here?) <i>¿Estás bien, Anna?</i> (Are you okay, Anna?)”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, I’m okay now.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">El Guero stood there and observed us for a moment with a serious look on his face, his hands in his pockets. I held my breath, looked down and heard crickets for a good few minutes. I felt an unspoken communication happening between El Guero and Aaron as I lifted my head and quietly inhaled a breath of frightening air. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">El Guero stared Aaron down as he made his way toward me and put his elbow out toward me again like he did before. This time I didn’t hesitate, I eagerly put my hand through and embraced his warmth as he pulled me close to him. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Let's go downstairs,” said El Guero. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Just before exiting through the patio doors, I looked back at Aaron, and he flipped me his middle finger. I pretended that it didn’t affect me whatsoever. As El Guero walked me down the stairs again, I thought, “Okay, I am going to find my brother, and we're going home!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The music got louder and louder the farther down the stairs we came.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Have you seen my brother?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, he’s outside. Let's go and join the party.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He took me through a set of doors that led to the backyard, where people were eating, dancing, and sitting around a bonfire. El Guero lifted his right arm, snapped his fingers and just like that, a man stood before us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“What would you like to drink, Anna?” asked El Guero.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Ummm, you know the drink you made me the day I met you, the one with no alcohol,” I said as I scanned the crowd for my brother.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes! I sure do,” answered El Guero as he turned to the man and ordered it for me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I tried really hard just to move on and continue as if nothing had happened, but I was still shaking after my encounter with Aaron. El Guero got up and said, “Come let’s get you some food.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Even though I wasn’t hungry, I followed him to the buffet. I put a few things in a plate. El Guero asked if he could serve me a bowl of menudo.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“No gracias, I’m not very hungry,” I explained. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">El Guero noticed that I was having a hard time holding my plate because my hands were shaking too much. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Here, let me get that for you,” he said, took my plate and carried it to the table for me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">El Guero picked up my shaking hand, looked into my eyes and said, “I will be right back.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I quickly bowed my head, put my shaking hands together and said my mealtime prayer before he came back with his food. When I closed my eyes, I saw my mom’s disappointed face, and that’s when I experienced the deepest feelings of guilt I had ever felt. I felt like I was cheating George, Canada, my family, my entire community, and God. I thought, “If anything bad happens to me here tonight, I will deserve it for being a liar, a traitor, and idiot.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I held my breath while looking for my brother, but when I couldn’t see him anywhere, I began to panic. I sat with my thoughts for a moment and went over what exactly had just happened—Aaron telling me that I was surrounded by a bunch of narcos. I knew that that could be true, but I concluded that Aaron was trying to ruin my night. And even if it was true, I wasn’t confused about who was the bad guy at that moment. I took a few deep breaths as George had taught me in Canada, and calmed myself down.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">El Guero came back and sat down beside me again, “Are you okay, Anna?” he asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I, I, can’t see my brother anywhere,” I answered in a shaking voice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He put his hand on my shoulder and said, “Look, he's right there,” and pointed him out to me. I saw him talking to my cowboy friend Javier, who looked back at me and waved. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I waved back at him and began to smile again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay,” I said, and took a relieved breath. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Anna, I don’t know what’s going on with you and Aaron. It’s not my business, but it looks to me like whatever happened isn't good. If I didn’t know him, I wouldn’t be worried, but I do know him. I know him very well, so please don’t let that <i>cabron</i> ruin your night. I am sorry that I didn’t come looking for you sooner.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“No, no it's okay. I will be okay,” I answered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I thought to myself, “I've been through this so many times before. And this is the first time someone has asked me if I'm okay.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I took a deep breath, turned to him and said, “Thank you!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He just smiled and said, “If it makes you feel any better, I had my guys take him to the back to have a little chat with him. He won't be bothering you again.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay,” I said and thought to myself, “He's right, I'm not going to let that <i>cabron</i> ruin my only night out while I am in Mexico!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, now let's eat. I’m hungry.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">With that conclusion, I thought, “Okay I'll stay a little while longer.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I carefully observed El Guero as he ate. I reminded myself not to stare, but I couldn’t help it. I thought to myself, “He even eats differently; how can he eat soup without making <i>schlurpsing </i>sounds?” It took my mind off of Aaron, and I began to enjoy myself again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“What time is it? I asked El Guero. He took a napkin, wiped his perfectly trimmed mustache, and cleaned his hands before he touched his shiny gold watch.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“It's eleven thirty-five and time for you to dance with me.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You do know that menonas can’t dance, right?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was carefully avoiding his eyes. He threw his napkin down onto his plate, turned to me and said, “Yes, I do! <i>No te preocupes querida</i> (Not to worry, my dear). I will guide you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He put his hand under my chin pulled my face up, so I had to look at him. He rubbed my chin with his thumb and said, “Anna, this is not going to be about whether you can dance or not.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay,” I said, and one butterfly came back to life in my stomach as I pictured myself in his arms, pretending to dance.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He put his hand out to help me up and led me through the crowd to where it was a bit darker. He turned to face me, carefully placed his hand on my back, slid his hand down to my waist and tugged me right up close to him. When he pressed his cheek against mine and whispered in my ear, “Okay, Anna, just relax and follow my lead,” a few more butterflies began dancing their way back to life in my stomach.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">A new song started, and he began gently and carefully moving me around as if I were made of glass and he didn't want to break me. He held me so close that I could feel his heartbeat through my shirt. My Low German thoughts started with all the “Anna, you shouldn’t be doing this!” nonsense, but I shut them down and forced my thoughts to just be in the moment, and embraced his comfort. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">Click <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2018/05/the-dietsch-and-mexa.html">here</a> to continue reading my story.</span></div>
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Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05633106090296282842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5032771919230839417.post-36852890297213399512018-04-05T19:57:00.000-04:002018-04-19T21:11:07.579-04:00Brave Mennonite<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Continued from <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2018/03/isabel-lopez.html">Isabel Lopez</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Why did it have to have such a tragic ending?</span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I don’t like it. ”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Because that was as far as my imagination could go before it became real.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“No Anna! No! How about, a Mexican man comes out of nowhere, swoops up Isabel just before the Lobo is about to eat her, shoots the Lobo and takes her to his place in the mountains.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I looked at him as I hesitantly nodded my head imagining it. I knew that men didn’t watch telenovelas, especially men like El Guero, and that he was just going along to keep the conversation going. I sensed that he might be poking fun at me a bit. But the tequila acted as a soft, warm cushion that caught and cuddled my hurt feelings.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Anna, it’s a telenovela, anything can happen,” he said, and we both laughed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Evry time I took a sip of the tequila I got a bit braver. I loved nothing more than to talk about my telenovela nonsense, especially to a man like him. Even if he was poking fun at me, it was still a way to have a conversation that wasn’t about my lack of life experience. I worked hard to keep it going, thinking up my response to his ending. I decided to give him a chance to bail; if he hated listening to me enough, he would jump at the chance to get out of it. So I asked, “Aren’t your guests arriving?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“If I would have known that you would actually come, I wouldn’t have invited all those people.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I almost didn’t.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I am so glad you did. And why don’t you write your telenovela? Dream it up as you would in your wildest imagination where anything can happen. Don’t let your reality ruin it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I don’t think I am brave or smart enough,” I explained, and reminded myself not to tell him that I wasn't capable of writing something like that, because I had only graduated kindergarten a short while ago. I imagined rolling my eyes at myself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You came to my party,” he said as he smiled. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yeah, coming to your party might not have been brave, it might have been stupid.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“NOOOO! Why do you say that?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I’m not sure, but it’s a feeling that I can't seem to shake.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I appreciate your honesty.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“If anyone finds out that I was here tonight, I will be in so much trouble.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“No, Anna, it's getting too real again. Can we go back to Isabel’s world where anything can happen?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I inhaled a deep breath and sighed as I stared across the evening sky and said, “Okay, so who is this ‘Mexican man’ who swoops up Isabel and saves her from the Lobos, and why did he do that? If he's just going to swoop in and save her every time she's in trouble, she might as well just go back to the colony as Anna Wall and surrender to a life where men decide what she wants and needs, but she’ll never be happy and forever feel trapped.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Esteee</i> (welll),” he said, and cleared his throat. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I just stared at him and waited.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“How about we worry about the Mexican’s name later. But Isabel is curious enough about him to stay at his place until she learns that she can trust him. And she accepts his invitation to travel the world with him. She’d get to see all his favorite places in Mexico. And in the end, she accepts that she is, in fact, Mexican and learns that she doesn't feel trapped and she’s happy and chooses to be with him,” he said as he leaned back in his chair and took a sip of his tequila.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“No!” I replied, and began voicing my thoughts as fast as I could.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“How about Isabel kills the Lobos with her bare hands, sneaks into the ‘nameless Mexican’s’ house in the mountains, steals his gun, his pickup, and takes off. The entire colony mourns Anna Wall’s death, but little do they know that she's out there living life on her terms as Isabel Lopez. The people in the colony hear stories of this woman who looks Dietsch, but she’s not, she’s Mexican. And that she did not only save herself from the vicious Lobos, she feeds them to the ‘Chupacabra’—the mysterious creature that has been appearing out of nowhere in the night and eating the colony’s chickens for years. She becomes their heroine. The ‘Chupacabra’ has become her pet and follows her around wherever she goes, which is the reason why the ‘Chupacabra’ has mysteriously disappeared. Then one day Isabel returns to the ‘nameless Mexican’s’ place and brings him a bottle of tequila to thank him for letting her get away with stealing his gun and his pickup… FIN….” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I inhaled a deep breath and took a sip of tequila. My heart attempted to pound through my chest as I waited for him to start laughing at me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I looked over at El Guero. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He wasn’t leaning back in his chair anymore he was sitting up straight, elbows on the table, and listening, “No! No, you can’t do this to me. It was just getting interesting. Was the ‘nameless Mexican’ mad at her, or did he accept her gift?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You’ll have to wait until the next telenovela.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Oh si</i> (Oh yeah) and what is the next telenovela called?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Anna Wall returns from the dead.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We both burst out laughing, “<i>Ay caramba!</i> I can't wait!” he replied.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He had no idea how much I enjoyed that. It made my butterflies so happy that they were trying to escape through my bellybutton. Immature or not, I could never dream out loud like that with anyone in my colony. I thought it was perfect and exactly what I needed after feeling lonely and isolated in the colony. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Your guests are probably waiting for you downstairs,” I said. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">El Guero looked at his shiny gold watch and said, “You’re right. It’s too bad, but we better go downstairs and meet some people?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He walked around the table and waited for me to get up. He pulled my chair out and put his elbow out toward me. I stood there like an idiot, not knowing what his gesture meant. He took my hand and pulled it through his elbow, and proceeded to walk me down the stairs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">All I could do was remind myself to breathe each time we took a step down the stairs. A couple of men were waiting for El Guero at the bottom of the stairs. He introduced me to them. They all shook my hand and said, “<i>Mucho gusto</i>.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Paula came up to us and said, “My turn to steal Anna away. Come, I want to talk to you while I do my makeup,” and back upstairs I went with Paula. I followed her to a room where she had a walk-in closet full of clothes, and mirrors everywhere. I sat down on the bed and picked up a magazine that was lying on the table beside the bed. I flipped through it as she was doing her makeup.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“It’s nice you came, Anna,” said Paula in her heavy Spanish accent.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Do you know how many people are coming?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“No, but not too many, just some of El Guero’s colleagues and his good friends. He is very careful with who his friends are.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, are you related to him?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="FR-CA" style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, <i>el es mi primo</i>. </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(He is my cousin.)” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You want to try some of my makeup?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Sure,” I replied and met her at the mirror. I picked the lightest color of her lipstick and put some on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Here, you need some of this too,” she said as she handed me a mascara. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Thanks.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Don’t be shy, put on whatever you like. I will change my clothes.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, ahhh, I'm going to go to the washroom,” I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You can use mine,” she said, as she pointed to a door in the room.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“There’s another bathroom in this place?” I thought as I went into the bathroom and locked the door behind me. I stared at myself in the mirror as I wondered if I had ever heard the word colleague before. Or was the tequila causing me forget the English I had learned in Canada? I took the opportunity to recognize how awkward I was feeling again. I had a little chat with myself. “What are you doing, Anna? You shouldn’t be here; you should go home.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Anna! Do you want to come with me to Patos?” Paula asked. “I have to go and pick up my friend,” she said as I came out of the bathroom.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay,” I answered and thought, “I will go home after.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“We will come right back here to eat after,” Paula explained.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We passed my brother on our way outside, Paula explained to him where we were going. I followed her through a couple of doors into a garage. She hopped into a shiny new black pickup. I walked around, climbed in, and off we went to Patos. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“So what were you and the chef making? It smelled really good in the kitchen.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“We made <i>menudo </i>and <i>frijoles charros</i>. Do you like <i>menudo</i>?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Ummm, not really.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“What about <i>frijoles charros</i>?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I have never tried <i>frijoles charros</i>.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Tonight is the chance for you to try.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I smiled and said, “I probably won't stay that long.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“But what do you mean? It’s a New Year’s party, Anna. Everybody stays until the new year. That’s why it’s a New Year’s party. El Guero would not like that if you left his party early.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“He probably won't even notice.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I think he will. He wants to dance with you yet.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Oh no! He knows that <i>menonas </i>can’t dance, right?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="FR-CA" style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Si pero a él no le importa.</i> </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(Yes, but</span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">he doesn't care.)” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My anxiety grew so thick that I didn’t even have to explain it to Paula. She felt it. “<i>No te preocupes</i> (Do not worry), Anna. El Guero doesn't get embarrassed, and trust me, he will do all the work. All you can do is enjoy the ride,” she explained.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">That didn’t help my anxiety much. Especially when Paula said, “Okay, Anna, we are going to park around the corner, and my friend is going to sneak out of her house to come with us.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, why is she sneaking out of her house?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Porque</i> (because) her husband is a</span> <i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">pinche cabrón</span></i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> (f#cking bastard) and he doesn't want her to come to the party.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Oh no,” I replied.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“We will wait here for her, okay?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As we sat in the pickup waiting for her friend to sneak out of her house, we watched all kinds of dressed up people going into a building across the street.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“What’s going on here?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“A New Year’s dance. All the people that weren't invited to El Guero’s party are going there.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Oh, that must be the dance I got invited to,” I said, as a cowboy wearing a shirt with the Virgin Mary on the back of it walked across the street.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Was the guy that invited you to the dance wearing a shirt like that?” asked Paula.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“No, at least not when he asked me. Why?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Anna, trust me, do not ever date a guy who wears shirts like those,” Paula explained in a serious tone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“But why?” I asked, and we got interrupted by her friend, who jumped into the pickup and said, “<i>Vamonos! Vamonos</i>!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Paula stepped on the gas, causing the tires to spin and leaving a cloud of dust behind us. <i>Alejandra, ella es mi amiga</i> Anna (She’s my friend Anna). Anna meet my friend Alejandra. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Es un placer conocerte</i>. (It's a pleasure to meet you.)”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Igualmente</i> (likewise),” I replied.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As soon as we were done with the introductions, Alejandra turned to Paula and started ranting about her husband. She spoke so fast I didn’t stand a chance at understanding much of it. But I got the gist of it by her tone and the swear words she used—she was very angry at her husband. Alejandra looked at me then at Paula and said, “<i>Gracias por sacarme de allí</i> (Thanks for getting me out of there),” with tears in her eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I understood enough to know that Alejandra was worried about people noticing that she had been crying and that she wanted to fix her makeup before joining the party.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">By the time we hit the back road behind Patos again, it was pitch black out. Paula seemed to know those back roads very well. She knew exactly when to slow down and when she could go full speed. By the time we reached the two armed men guarding the entrance gate at El Guero’s ranch, the full moon was peeking over the maintains. It looked like part of the mountains was on fire.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The armed men didn’t even stop us; they knew the pickup and just opened the gate to let us in. There were a lot more vehicles parked than there had been before we left. Paula drove the pickup back into the garage. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We snuck through a back door, through the kitchen, and upstairs back to Paula’s room. I sat on the bed and flipped through the magazine while Paula helped Alexandra with her makeup.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Music echoed through the entire place, people drinking and mingling. As we made our way back down the stairs, I stopped halfway down and scanned the crowd. All I saw was a room full of men, and when I spotted a familiar face, I knew that the bad feeling I had been having wasn’t a vicious mountain lion or the fact that El Guero had a gun. When he acknowledged that he had seen me, all the butterflies that had been dancing in my stomach on and off throughout the entire experience suddenly choked, tumbled down my legs and fell on my toes. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">Click <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2018/04/moonlight-misery.html">here</a> to continue reading my story.</span><br />
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Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05633106090296282842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5032771919230839417.post-80486395639102834042018-03-29T10:29:00.000-04:002018-03-29T10:29:14.870-04:00Returning home <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">By <a href="https://www.instagram.com/nanpeters1/">Nan Peters</a></span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHB8QJGoJqm2r5NZa2wCl7olwGc3sQ0vb25o_R_E4h4-EQ0tAdj1xTMCCnvEnjd9hgendAOIsyHAGpLUjB1kXSzXZm1LnwBqAARvPSj9iXcByhEe4jCNVw0GWluauj2qyIDcQ6nZW9Iuc/s1600/IMG-20180329-WA0028.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="810" data-original-width="1080" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHB8QJGoJqm2r5NZa2wCl7olwGc3sQ0vb25o_R_E4h4-EQ0tAdj1xTMCCnvEnjd9hgendAOIsyHAGpLUjB1kXSzXZm1LnwBqAARvPSj9iXcByhEe4jCNVw0GWluauj2qyIDcQ6nZW9Iuc/s320/IMG-20180329-WA0028.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo By Nan Peters</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Returning to the place I was born and living with only the very basic necessities has been the most incredible self-growth opportunity for me. Moving to Canada from Mexico when I was 8 was an amazing challenge for my family. My uncle Cornelius drove my parents and my seven siblings (mom was pregnant too) in his white pick up truck all the way to Canada. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We had no idea what kind of life we would be living. We soon grew accustomed to having two indoor washrooms, having light in every room, water in the kitchen and washrooms and we got to wear what we wanted to. We eventually all cut our hair, wore makeup, I was even planning on being a makeup artist, and then came my love affair with shoes. At one point I had more than 50 pairs. I lived for parties, nightclubs and my stilettos with the cutest outfits I could put together. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">So soon we had completely changed our way of living and our way of thinking. I never realized how much until we returned last year for the first time since we had left. It was very emotional and so amazing. Now returning again for much longer and actually living with no water, lights, using a huge plastic container to bathe, sleeping on the floor has only made me more grateful. So much more grateful for everything in my life. I realized last year upon returning how much we live in a materialistic world. The past few years my desire to live very simply has really changed my way of thinking. I have let go of so many things, yes even my shoes. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-no-proof: yes;">Every trip I take, whether it's a road trip, an all-inclusive holiday, hiking adventure or camping trip, I mentally let go of so many material things I own.</span><span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> I realize that life is so short and the "American dream: is actually the furthest from my dream life. While I have always been so incredibly thankful for the people in my life but the "stuff" doesn't even matter. The dream I have is to live in a tiny house, with only the basic survival materials and to create a life of adventure and be surrounded by the most people. Chase your own dream!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05633106090296282842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5032771919230839417.post-66018664052876427292018-03-17T18:42:00.001-04:002018-03-17T18:42:11.401-04:00Low German Mennonite 101<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/hZa69aWxdP0" width="480"></iframe>Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05633106090296282842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5032771919230839417.post-86448468324422212932018-03-15T21:30:00.000-04:002018-04-05T20:00:29.449-04:00Isabel Lopez<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Continued from <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2018/03/hopeful-mennonite.html">Hopeful Mennonite</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It seemed like we were driving to the end of the earth as I watched the main highway fading farther and farther into in the dust trail behind us. Finally, we reached a locked gate with two armed men guarding it. They looked at us for a moment, unlocked the gate and said, “<i>Pasale</i>.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The butterflies in my stomach began dancing themselves back to life as I admired the incredible maintain view driving up to an hacienda style ranch house. It was unlike anything I had ever seen before. The view was breathtaking. It made me forget about all the worries I had before arriving. I thought, “Wow! I could see myself belonging here.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We were the first guests to arrive. El Guero came and greeted us. He looked different than the first time I had met him. The first time I met him, I may have been too occupied staring at his odd-looking footwear. I had never met anyone like him before. He was a lot taller than I was. His professionally groomed black hair, mustache, and his unique style made him look Mexican, but his blue eyes and only slightly darker skin tone than mine made him almost look <i>Dietsch</i>. He carried himself tall and confident. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He greeted me by reaching out his hand. I placed my hand in his, and he cupped it with his other hand and held it until I made eye contact. When he pulled my hand up, and I felt his mustache tickle my skin as his warm, soft lips kissed the top of my hand, I thought, “<i>Ha li kringle!</i> What am I getting myself into?” followed closely by, “<i>Oba wuarom lat den so damaschen schmock? </i>(Oh man, why does he have to be so fricken attractive?)” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He shook my brother’s hand and invited us inside to the kitchen where we met Paula and the chef. Paula dropped the tea towel she had in her hands and greeted me with a kiss on each cheek. She turned to shake my brother John’s hand said, “I am so happy that you brought your sister.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Anna, come with me. Let me show you around,” said El Guero.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I couldn’t get over how many bathrooms the place had, especially when compared to the one outhouse per property in the colony. When we got to what seemed like the end of the tour, he said, “Come, follow me this way.” I followed him up four flights of stairs, careful on my way up not to brush against the cactus plants deployed on one side of the stairs. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He guided me to a huge bedroom. I hesitated to walk across the shiny terracotta tile floor to go further.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Come on,” said, El Guero. I continued to follow him through the room past a wood burning fireplace, toward a set of patio doors. The evening sun shone through the sheer curtains. The mild breeze blew the drapes, causing them to wave at me. I parted the drapes and stepped out onto the patio. The incredible view overlooking the mountains took my breath away. I walked past the patio table and chairs to the edge of the black, curved metal railing. I leaned against the edge beside El Guero and looked down at the horses. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Wow, this place is incredible,” I said as I looked up at El Guero.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He smiled and said, “Isn't it? This is my favorite place also.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We both stood there admiring the clear evening sky. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">El Guero walked over to the patio table, pulled out a chair for me and said in his heavy Spanish accent, “Make yourself at home. I’ll be right back. ”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As I watched him walk away, I noticed a shiny silver and black handgun grip sticking out on the side of his belt. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was mature enough to be able to connect the dots. I remembered that we often heard about lions living in those mountains. I thought, “He must have that gun in case a lion comes and tries to eat us,” and just like that I was reassured that El Guero would shoot any lion that would try to eat me. No lion would stand a chance against him and the two armed men at the entrance gate.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">El Guero came back with a beautifully designed one-of-a-kind bottle and two shot glasses. He sat down, opened the bottle, filled the glasses and handed me one. He held up his glass and said, “<i>Salud</i>.” I just stared at him. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Anna, pick up the drink,” he said as he held his cup up close to mine. I picked it up, he tapped my cup with his and said, “<i>Salud</i>,” again. I watched him take a sip. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Go ahead, Anna, try it. It's tequila. If you don’t like it, it's alright, you don’t have to drink it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay,” I said and took a tiny sip of the tequila. It stung my taste buds, but it instantly warmed up, and it felt like it liquefied my insides. By the time El Guero asked, “Well, what do you think?” I was feeling a bit braver and more curious about him. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“It's different. Gooood different. I like it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He smiled and said, “I’m glad you like it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I didn’t know what to say. The experience was foreign, exciting, scary, fun, mysterious and awkward all at the same time. I wasn’t sure which of those feelings I should trust. I just continued to look at the incredible view. I slowly turned my head to look at him again. He looked back at me and simply smiled, sat back, and enjoyed sipping away at his tequila. Unlike me, he was very comfortable in his skin. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My inner voice grew louder as the silence continued, “Anna, you are way out in the middle of nowhere in the mountains of Mexico right next to the bedroom of a complete stranger.” I peeked at him again, and my inner voice said, “Yeah, Anna, a very attractive man who has a gun on him, and you are drinking tequila with him!” I held my breath when that reality washed over me, and proceeded to talk myself out of being afraid, “My brother and Paula are downstairs, and more guests are coming--or are they? I’m sure they are. Breathe, Anna!” I inhaled a breath and peeked at him again. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Are you enjoying your vacation?” he asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I cleared my throat and said, “I haven't thought of my trip as a vacation. I have read about vacations, and my trip has been nothing like it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I imagine, this must be strange for you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Well, it’s different. It’s so strange I feel like I am in a country that I didn’t know existed.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Have you ever been anywhere in Mexico besides <i>Patos</i>?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, I have been to Durango city before, and on my way here I landed in Guadalajara to catch a connecting flight.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Do you have any friends here?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“A few, but I am mostly spending time with my family in the colony. Hamburgo--do you know where that is?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, I often drive through there when I go to <i>Esfuerzos Unidos</i>.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay,” I said and began telling him about the great day I had when I drove to <i>Patos</i> by myself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">After I heard myself say, “I drove to Patos all by myself,” my inner voice said, “He's going to think you are an idiot if that was the best thing about your trip, Anna!” So I quickly added, “And met up with my friend and spent the afternoon with her.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I paused long enough for him to say, “Okay,” then quickly asked him a question before he could ask me another one.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“How about you?</span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Are you enjoying your vacation?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Well, yes, especially after meeting you,” he answered as he made eye contact. And there was that warm liquid feeling in my stomach again. This time I wasn’t sure if it was the tequila. He seemed to get more attractive every time I looked at him. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Are you Mexican?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Why do you ask?” he asked with his head tilted. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Ahhh,” I mumbled and scolded myself for asking him that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Just kidding, Anna. I get that a lot. Yes, I am one hundred percent Mexican. I just happen to have blue eyes and lighter skin than most around here. Believe it or not, there are many of us out there.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He sat up straight, looked right into my eyes and said, “Ask me any questions you like, but then I am allowed to ask you any questions I like as well, right?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, it’s a deal,” I said, and went for it. “What is your real name?” I asked as I turned red from head to toe.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Noah.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Really?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes. Why?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I have never met a person with that name before.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, wow, that surprises me.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Not me.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“NO!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Wow, you sound sure about that. I am curious to know the reason.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I thought, “Oh shit! I should have said I don’t know, or yes, but I'm not, so now what do I say?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He got tired of watching my brain produce smoke trying to figure out how to explain it to him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You and I have similar skin tone and eye color, and we were both born in Mexico. I am a Mexican, and you are not?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Ahhh…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Or wait, let me see your eyes. Can you just look at me for a second?” he asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It felt like the bravest thing I had ever done when I just looked into his eyes and let him look into mine until he decided it was long enough. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Your eyes aren't blue. You have the most beautiful green eyes I have ever seen.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">At that point, my toes were starting to melt, and my inner voice said, “Anna, turn it back to him! Don’t let him ask all the questions!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was too late. “I’m waiting,” he said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Well, I grew up being told I wasn’t Mexican. It was very clear that we were <i>Dietsch</i> and not Mexican. It was a permanent part of our vocabulary.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“But your birth certificate says you are Mexican, right?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“That means you are as Mexican as I am, don’t you think?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Ahhh…” I said, and thought long and hard about it before I answered. I remembered the trouble I had gotten into when I told the security guard at the airport that my nationality was German. I had no idea how to defend my answer, or how to explain it. I took a sip of my tequila to buy some more time to think up an answer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He poured himself another tequila as he waited, and finally he said, “Let me make it easier for you, Anna. Today I declare you a Mexican!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We both laughed for a while.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Sorry, I just couldn’t help myself,” he explained.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“It’s okay, I have often wished that I was Mexican. Well, you know, one with different parents, a different name and all. I mean a Mexican that is free from the colony life. You know what I mean?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes I do, but I think Anna is a beautiful name. What do you wish your name was instead?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Isabel Lopez, or something like that. It has a much better ring to it than Anna Wall, don’t you think?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Why Isabel Lopez?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“It’s a long story. It's quite stupid, you don’t want to know. Paula will probably need you downstairs before I am done explaining.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Let me tell you something, Anna. I am the boss, and Paula knows better than to interrupt me when I am up here. Especially when I am up here with a guest. We have as much time as you need. I want to know, so go ahead and tell me.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, well, it started when things got really hard for me in Canada, and I thought that I was going to die. I began doubting my decision to leave my colony life behind and wished that I could come back to Mexico. I knew that I couldn't simply come back and live in the colony as I had before I left. During that time I watched a lot of Telenovelas, and one of them inspired my idea of coming back to Mexico and living with the Lopez family as Isabel Lopez. You know, the ones that own the groceries store in Nuevo Ideal? Because Mrs. Lopez looks <i>Dietsch</i>, I thought I could easily blend in with that family. I imagined I would have the best of both worlds. I could live in Mexico where things were familiar to me--close, but not in the colony. I would learn to speak Spanish with no accent. I would wear long skirts, big dangly earrings and my hair open while working in their store. The <i>Dietsch</i> people shopping there would have no idea that Isabel Lopez was once Anna Wall. Then maybe I would feel like I belonged.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I held my breath and waited for him to start laughing at me. When I looked up at him, he was as comfortable as ever, leaning back in his chair, sipping tequila. His calm, relaxed demeanor gave me permission to take a deep breath and enjoy the smoky smell that lingered in the breeze while I took a sip of my tequila. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Now that’s a Telenovela I might even watch,” he said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I thought, “Okay, he's just being nice. He would never watch Telenovelas.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Did your Telenovela have an ending?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Oh, it sure did.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Don’t leave me hanging like this. How did it end?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Eventually, the <i>Dietsch</i> people learned that Isabel Lopez really was Anna Wall. When the gossip spread like wildfire, they stopped shopping at the Lopez store, and it went bankrupt. The Lopez family blamed Anna Wall for ruining their family business and disowned her. Anna Wall ended up homeless on the streets of Mexico and in the end, got eaten by the Mexican Lobos.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">“Noooo…,” screamed El Guero. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">Click <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2018/04/brave-mennonite.html">here</a> to continue reading my story.</span><br />
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Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05633106090296282842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5032771919230839417.post-26956369780445570912018-03-01T19:19:00.000-05:002018-03-15T21:34:03.047-04:00Hopeful Mennonite<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Continued from <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2018/02/vamonos-mennonite.html">Vamonos Mennonite</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Arms linked, Irma walked me to the nearest Farmacia. It was foreign and awkward to be so close to a friend that I felt the warmth of her body on mine. Hunched over and holding my breath, I thought, “Oh this is so weird, what are people going to think? Oh no, everybody is staring at us.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">During the entire walk, I had to force all my energy into allowing myself to enjoy the experience as much as I actually was. Knowing that I wasn’t strong enough push my awkward thoughts out of my head before the experience was over, I dug into my memory of George and the many times told me, “Anna, just give yourself some slack. Relax and enjoy this. And Anna, breathe already—you are turning blue.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When we got to the Farmacia, I was exhausted. I just focused on breathing and trying to relax my tense body. Irma hugged the pharmacist and explained what medication I wanted to buy. The pharmacist wasn’t interested in Irma’s instructions; he just wanted to know about me and how Irma knew me. I stood there and smiled as Irma explained that we had been neighbors growing up, and how long I had been away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="FR-CA" style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Es un placer conocerte, Anna. Qué bueno que pasen tiempo juntos otra vez.</i> </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(It's so nice to meet you, Anna. How nice that you get to spend time together again),” said the pharmacist as he handed me the medication.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I smiled nodded my head and said, “Gracias.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Irma hooked her arm through mine again and off we went to the <i>Paleteria La Michoacana</i>. I thought, “<i>Ekj se blos met</i>. I guess I'm just going with.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We walked across the street to the park, sat down in the sunshine and enjoyed our paletas before they melted. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We reminisced in an interesting mix of sign language and words about the good old days of our childhood as neighbors. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">After I got back to the colony, I made my delivery to Uncle Jake, who was thrilled that I had brought him everything on his list. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I felt much better about being in Mexico. I had reconnected with a dear friend, pleased a family member and proved that I could drive to Nuevo Ideal and back all by myself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It turned out to be a great day, and it was only getting better when my little sister Maria came running toward me shouting, “Anna! Anna! Justina and Helena Bueckert are here to see you!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I had decided that the Bueckert girls would never speak to me again after hearing all those rumors that were going around the colony about me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I had missed those two girls so much. I spent many sleepless nights regretting not having listened to them when they tried to convince me that I was making a big mistake leaving the colony. At that moment I was doubting my decision again, as I did every time I felt like I didn’t belong in the new places I went to. It seemed like my life had been nothing but awkward and uncomfortable since leaving; even coming back was awkward and uncomfortable. I certainly didn’t feel like I belonged in the colony anymore. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was thrilled that they had come to visit me, but at the same time nervous about facing them. At that moment I was glad that Mom had made me put on a dress. It would have been even more awkward having to face them wearing jeans.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Are you coming? They are waiting for you,” said Maria.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, okay yes, I'm coming.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My heart was pounding as I walked over to receive them. I fought back my tears as I saw them standing there so close to me. I had an incredible urge to hug them, but I controlled myself and reached out to shake their hands instead. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Maria guided us into her room and told us to sit down. We sat down and just stared awkwardly at each other for a while. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Maria came back with a bowl of oranges, peanuts, and chocolates.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“It's so good to see you, Anna. I'm so glad that you came home,” said Justina.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“It’s good to see you too. How are you, girls?” I asked, and it was like no time had passed as we conversed about all of the Sunday afternoons we had spent together. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“We are still doing the same thing,” said Helena with a sad look on her face. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“We are still waiting for men from other <i>darpa</i> (villages) to come and visit us, but hardly any come to Hamburg, even though they drive cars now. We’re never going to be able to get married,” said Justina. Helena agreed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Oba, nea!</i> Are you saying that Sunday afternoons are still as hopeless as when I was part of the group?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Ha li dietschjat!</i> Anna, you have no idea. They are worse now. Especially since you left.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Really?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, not even Aaron Neudorf spends time with us here in the colony since you left.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My heart started racing when they brought up Aaron. I figured, “This is perfect! I can fish for information without being too obvious.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Ahhh, that’s a good thing, right?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“What do you mean?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I mean because he is a <i>schwien noagel</i> and you don’t want him around.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Well, he doesn’t even like us. We heard that he is dating a <i>Mexa mijal</i> (Mexican girl).” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“What? I had no idea.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yeah, you see how hopeless it is? Aaron would rather date a <i>Mexa mejal</i> then either one of us.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Oba!</i>” I said and reminded myself that they might not know Aaron the way that I did.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">That’s when I had to really bite my tongue, because I realized again just how separated we were from the people of the world in the way we thought about things. My experience in Canada had allowed me the freedom to think that it would be okay to go out with someone who wasn’t <i>Dietsch</i>. But in the colony, it was still ‘them’ and ‘us’--the thought of dating someone non-<i>Dietsch</i> was</span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">incomprehensible. I thought to myself, “Crap! Am I ever in big trouble.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I don’t know how you have done it. I mean live alone in Canada,” said Justina.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Weren't you ever scared?” asked Helena.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Well, it hasn’t been easy, but since I have been going to school, it's getting easier, because I am able to do so much more on my own. Sometimes it's still scary, but now that I can speak enough English to get by, it’s easier to figure things out. Since learning how to read and write I can learn how to take care of myself so much better.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When they looked at each other with confusion on their faces, I realized that I had lost them. What I had just shared with them would have never crossed their minds, or mine before I had experienced it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In the colony, you go to school until you are the age that you are done school, and that’s it. Whether you know more than when you started school is beside the point.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I mean, it’s scary and hard for us here too sometimes, right?” I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“YES!” They both said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Just as I took a big bite of my orange, Helena said, “We heard that you are not going back to Canada, that you are going to stay home.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I almost choked on my orange as I asked, “What? Who is saying that?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Well, everybody.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Ahhhh.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“We have to get going now,” said Justina.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay,” I answered, and followed them out the door. I walked with them to the gate of our property line.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Dan lot scheengon</i>,” they both said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Junt uk.</i> (You too.)”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">At the end of the day, when everyone had gone to bed, I lay there wide awake, staring at the flickering light of the oil lamp on the ceiling and wondering who was spreading rumors that I was there to stay. The next day was New Year’s Eve, and I had a decision to make. Was I going to the dance with the tall, dark and handsome cowboy, or was I going to El Guero’s ranch in the mountains?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I imagined the conversation with my mom in my head: “Ahhh, Mom, I am going to a dance with a <i>Mexa jung</i> (Mexican man) tonight.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Oba nienich</i>! (Never!)”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Mom, a strangely dressed, light-skinned, tall, attractive, blue-eyed Mexican man nicknamed El Guero invited me to his New Year’s Eve party at his ranch in the mountains tonight. What should I wear?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Oba waut dreement die nicht noch aules</i>? (Oh no! What else could you dream up?)”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Hey Mom, <i>eena Mexa mejal</i> (a Mexican woman) invited me to a dinner at a ranch tonight. John is going too, and I would really like to go with him.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Nah jo, mool seen</i>. (Okay, we’ll see.)”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Yes… I hoped it would be just like I imagined it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The next day it was the usual madness of cleaning the whole house from top to bottom with Pine Sol, baking <i>tweeback</i>, and butchering chickens for noodle soup the next day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I assisted John in catching a few chickens, and held them down while he chopped their heads off. I figured there was no better opportunity than that to run my plan by him. He agreed that I should tell Mom that a “<i>Mexa mijal</i>” invited me to a dinner, and that he was going anyways, so I could tag along with him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It had been a long time since I had butchered chickens, so while Mom demonstrated how to rip the guts out of a chicken properly, I told her my plans for the evening.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My heart was pounding out of my chest. “Mom, a <i>Mexa mijal</i> invited me to a dinner tonight. John is going too. Can I go with him?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I held my breath and thought, “Please don’t say ‘We’ll see what dad says’.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dad hadn't said much to me at all. It was clear as mud where I stood with him, and I imagined his answer to my request would be clear as mud too. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="FR-CA" style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Nah ekj glive me es dot endont. </i></span><i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Blose nich to loot wach bleven </span></i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(Well, I think I’m okay with that, just don’t stay out too late),” said Mom.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In spite of the chicken-gut stink, my stomach began to feel warm and tingly as relief washed over me after Mom’s answer had sunk in. But my warm and tingly feelings immediately turned to guilt, knowing that we weren't going to be too late. Instead, we would come home really early the next morning.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">At the end of the day, everyone had had their baths and all the chores were done. Everyone was busy doing their own thing. My parents took my youngest brothers to <i>Schoendarp</i> to visit my older, married sister. My younger sisters went to visit their friends. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The house was quiet and the smell of Pine Sol still lingered in the air. I got emotional as I recalled the many happy memories I had of my childhood in that house. I realized that most of my happy memories were associated with the smell of Pine Sol. At that moment I felt included, instead of pushed aside because I had plans of my own. I was being allowed to do something that I wanted to do. At that moment I felt like I was home and I belonged there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I put on my dad’s radio and listened to Santiago’s radio station <i>La Tremeda</i> while I had my bath. I went through my suitcase looking for an outfit to put together for the party, something that was not a pleated Mennonite dress. I had no idea what would be appropriate to wear. I chuckled as I remembered my purple dress experience with George, and how dressing struggles seemed to follow me wherever I went. Finally, I just put on my jeans. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I didn’t have any makeup, so the all-natural look was my only choice. I combed my hair, grabbed the magazine my brothers had brought from Cuernavaca, went outside, and sat in the sun to let my hair dry.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">While I was enjoying the peace and quiet, flipping through the magazine and attempting to read about actor Joaquim de Almeida’s role in the film One Man's Hero, Javier pulled into the driveway.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">All dressed up and smelling amazing, Javier gave me his usual cowboy greeting of a hat nod and said, “<i>Hola Anita,</i> <i>como estas</i>?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Oh no!” I thought, “Now I have to tell him that I'm not going to the dance with him.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“So tell me, Anita, are you ready to dance with me all night and until next year?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I turned red like a tomato, and my heart sank when I made eye contact with him. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I’m sorry, but I am going to a party with my brother tonight instead.” I held my breath.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Don’t worry, Anita, I understand. It was wishful thinking on my part, but I will see you later at El Guero’s ranch then,” he said. He did his hat nod again as he turned and went to see my brother John in the garage. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">All I could do was inhale a breath, or I would be sure to pass out. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Javier left, and John went inside to get ready. He came outside dressed in his best cowboy clothes, matching ostrich skin boots, and hat. “Ready?” he asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I think so.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, <i>vamonos pues</i>. (Let's go then.)”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I followed him to the pickup.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I spoke to Javier yesterday, and I told him about our plans. I hope you don’t mind.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Ahhh…no, no, that’s okay, I guess. I was wondering how he knew.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When John said, “You know we're not coming home until next year, right?” my heart sank to the dusty ground. I thought, “I really hope this will be worth the trouble I will get into tomorrow.” <o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">Click <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2018/03/isabel-lopez.html">here</a> to continue reading my story.</span><br />
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Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05633106090296282842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5032771919230839417.post-15795608159617361232018-02-01T20:10:00.000-05:002018-03-01T19:21:46.417-05:00Vamonos Mennonite<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Continued from <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2018/01/misfit-mennonite-in-mexico.html">Misfit Mennonite in Mexico</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It was no secret that Abram, who is a year and six months younger than me, had some hostile feelings toward me and my situation. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Why shouldn’t I go to this party?” I asked him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Because then people in the colony will spread rumors about you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“What kind of rumors?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Oh, you know, that you are a <i>schtruntz </i>(slut)!” he shouted.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Oh really? I thought that was old news. I have been a <i>schtruntz</i> ever since the first time someone saw me talking to a long-haired <i>schwein noagel</i> in Canada.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Exactly! You need to behave in a way that proves otherwise. Mom and Dad should have never let you go in the first place!!!” he yelled.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You’re right, they shouldn't have, but they did, and I can’t turn back time. Sometimes I wish I could! What am I supposed to do now, live like this forever?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Live like how?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Letting others tell me what I am, what I can and can’t do when they haven't got a clue about what is really going on?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You asked for it the day you left all of us!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I asked for this?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“YES!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“NO! I didn’t!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“YES, you did!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“NO, I didn’t!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“YES!!!!! You did!!!!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“NOOOOOOOO!!! I didn’t!!!!!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">John couldn’t stand it anymore, and he intervened, “Okay, stop it you two! <i>Caray</i> (wow), you two sound like a couple of kids. “<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I walked away and went to the outhouse. That seemed to be the only place I could be by myself. The outhouse on my parent's property was located right beside the barbed wire fence that separated uncle Jake’s property from my parents’ property. Occasionally I peeked through the space on the side of the outhouse where the wood panels met, to make sure no one needed to use it. I sat in there wishing that I could make myself disappear. I imagined living by myself at the mountain where a short time ago I had discovered a slice of the feeling of belonging, feeling connected to the universe and the nonliving at the same time. I imagined myself living without people at the mountain, alongside the crows and donkeys. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Oh George, where are you right now? I miss you so much. I could really use your company right now. When I leave this time, I am never coming back!” I thought to myself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I opened the door, and the brightness of the Mexican sun blinded me. I wiped the tears off my face, pretending that the sun had caused my tears. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Uncle Jake saw me and waved me over. I climbed through the barbed wire fence and went to see to him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Hey Anna, how’s your visit so far?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I think I'm going bonkers. How about you? Are you almost ready to go home?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“What do you mean, go home? We are home, aren't we?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Ahhh…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I think I have the flu. I feel very ill. Could you do me a favor?” asked Uncle Jake.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Oh no, that’s too bad. Sure, what can I do?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Could you go to <i>Patos</i> and pick up these items for me?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Ahhh, me, driving your pickup in Mexico?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Well, yes, we are in Mexico, right?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, but...”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Anna, believe it or not, driving in Mexico is the same as anywhere else.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, I will just go and talk to mom first.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay,” he said, and handed me a list, money, and the keys to his pickup.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I explained to mom what Uncle Jake had asked me to do and she said, “Okay, can you bring a bag of pink icing and a jar of coffee?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Sure,” I answered. I got so excited about the idea of being able to drive to <i>Potes</i> myself that I felt warm and tingly on the inside and my heart began racing. I loved driving by myself. I had learned that sitting behind the wheel and driving was the best form of therapy for my torn, frustrated, and lonely feelings. Not only was it was the best form of independence I had ever experienced, but I did my best thinking while behind the wheel. My thoughts spoke clearly, and they made sense in whatever mixed up language they were. I often thought, If only I could voice my thoughts the way they are in my head while I am driving.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My glimpse of new-found hope turned to despair when mom said, “But, one of the boys should go with you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I knew it!” I thought.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Mom, would it be okay if I went by myself?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You want to go all by yourself?” she asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, I do. I would love to go all by myself.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">She looked at me like I had just landed a spaceship from outer space right there in front of her with no apology for the disturbance I had caused while doing so.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Mom, I traveled all the way from Canada to Mexico by myself. Please just let me drive to <i>Potes</i> by myself. I will be fine.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When she said, “<i>Nah jo</i> (Okay),” My George-influenced brain thought, “F#ck it!” as I lost all control, and hugged her. She stiffened up so much that it felt like I was hugging a concrete statue. I was a bit embarrassed for her, but I was okay with my decision. The one thing I was sure of was that for a hug to be effective, both parties had to be willing participants. I compared the experience to my relationship with Aaron Neudorf.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">On my way to a slice of freedom, the distance between me and Uncle Jake’s pickup seemed too far. My feet felt extremely heavy as I made my way to the pickup. I never looked back. It felt like I was climbing my way out of a dark hole before I got sucked back in. It was like the sort of dream where you are running toward something you so badly want, but you’re standing still in one spot. You gain new hope when it feels so real, but when you almost get there, you wake up. This was really happening—I was awake and fully aware. I put the key in the ignition, placed my foot on the brake pedal, and turned the key. My heart was pounding out of my chest as I slowly lifted my shaking foot off the brake pedal and placed it on the gas. “Anna, eyes straight ahead!” I thought as I left my entire family in a cloud of dust.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I turned onto the highway and drove away from the colony, I let out a scream I still had inside me from my earlier frustrations. After I listened to my thoughts say, “Anna, you sound like an idiot,” I got busy becoming one with my thoughts while miles of desert land whooshed past me. The feeling was unlike any I had experienced up to that point. I was collecting and storing my experiences to keep with me forever and ever. Every time I experienced something that made me feel like I just might be okay, I reminded myself that it might be short-lived. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I drove into <i>Potes</i> and passed a few buggies, I told myself, “Do not make eye contact!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I decided not to go to Centro Valle, where I was guaranteed to run into Mennonite people who would recognize me. I drove to the new purple grocery store that had opened since I left. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I successfully parked Uncle Jake’s pickup in front of the purple store while a large group of Mexican men watched me. They could very well just have been admiring Uncle Jake’s ‘fancy Texas pickup,’ but my bad attitude decided that they were waiting for me to hit someone or something, proving that I wasn’t cut out for this. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I stepped out of the pickup, a few of the men whistled at me and yelled, “<i>Guerita Preciosa!</i>”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I pretended I didn’t even notice them while I enjoyed a bit of new-found confidence about my successful parking job. I thought to myself, “You didn’t think I could do it, did you? Bunch of <i>cabrones!</i>” And just like that, my confidence fled the scene and left me stranded and vulnerable. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">With uncle Jake’s list in hand, I walked into the grocery store. Before I began shopping, I stopped to look at the list:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="line-height: normal; margin-left: 103.1pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "wingdings"; font-size: 16.0pt;">ü<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Pork chops<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; margin-left: 103.1pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "wingdings"; font-size: 16.0pt;">ü<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><i><span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Tequila</span></i><span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 16.0pt;"> (El Jimador)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "wingdings"; font-size: 16.0pt;">ü<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><i><span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Auguameneral</span></i><span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 16.0pt;"> (sparkling mineral water)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "wingdings"; font-size: 16.0pt;">ü<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Coke<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "wingdings"; font-size: 16.0pt;">ü<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Lemon<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="FR-CA" style="font-family: "wingdings"; font-size: 16.0pt;">ü<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><i><span lang="FR-CA" style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Panque de nuez</span></i><span lang="FR-CA" style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 16.0pt;"> (Nut bread)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "wingdings"; font-size: 16.0pt;">ü<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Salsa Valentina<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "wingdings"; font-size: 16.0pt;">ü<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><i><span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Saladitas</span></i><span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 16.0pt;"> (soda crackers)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "wingdings"; font-size: 16.0pt;">ü<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><i><span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Caldo de Camaron</span></i><span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 16.0pt;"> (shrimp Mr. Noodle cups)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "wingdings"; font-size: 16.0pt;">ü<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Nescafé</span><span style="font-family: "lucida console"; font-size: 16.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "monotype corsiva"; font-size: 16.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">And, medication I couldn't pronounce.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I looked up, every eye in the store was on me. I slowly made my way to a cart and grabbed it. I began looking for the items on the list, pretending that being stared at didn’t bother me one bit. When I turned into the salsa aisle, there was a Mexican woman looking at me and whispering to a man. It was obvious they were talking about me. I thought, great! This is just great! And my already bad attitude got worse. “I thought at least the natives would be on my side, but noooo!” The woman began to smile as she made her way toward me. I quickly looked away and began looking for Salsa Valentina.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Anna! Anna! Eres tu?</i>” she shouted.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“How the heck does she know my name?” I thought.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When she got closer, she looked so familiar, but I couldn’t figure out who she was. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Anna! Soy yo, Irma.</i> (Anna! It's me, Irma.)”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Irma Heide?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Sí, sí, soy yo.</i> (Yes, yes it's me.)”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Irmaaaaa!” I yelled, and she leaned in and hugged me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was overjoyed. Irma had been on my mind since the moment I got off the bus at the colony. When I saw that the house where she grew up was abandoned, I thought that I would never see her again. We had a lot of history. I believed that because she taught me the Spanish alphabet, I was able to learn English the way I did, and find all those words in the English-Spanish dictionary, and learn them. She had no idea how much she had helped me by doing that, or how much I loved her for that. The fact that I was standing in that store at that moment, I owed to her. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">At first, I was speechless. Then I began babbling on in a mix of Low German and English, while Irma stood there and stared at me. She didn’t understand a single phrase that was falling out of my mouth. It seemed to me that she wasn’t even trying to understand me. Not even the word “okay.” It was hopeless. I had no choice but to dig deep for my Spanish words, if I was going to communicate with her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I asked her if she was shopping too, and she explained that she was the owner of the store and the man that I saw her whispering to was her husband. And that’s when my half-ass Spanish language began to confuse her. Just like so many other times, I couldn't explain myself in a way that the other person understood. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">She asked what I was looking for. I looked at the first item on Uncle Jake’s list and said, “<i>Chuletas de cuerpo</i> (body chops)” but I meant to say, “<i>Chuletas de puerco (p</i>ork chops).”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I realized my mistake, we both laughed, and she said, “<i>Quieres comprar chuletas de cuerpo de puerco?</i> (You want to buy pork chops from the body of a pig?)”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I thought, “Oh man, this sucks! Why am I always on this end of the language barrier? Why can't others learn Plautdietsch for a change?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Caramba!</i> Irma! You should have learned Plautdietsch—you grew up in a Mennonite colony, after all. Yes, that’s what I want to buy,” I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">She stood there with a blank stare on her face again, until I said, “<i>Sí, sí, así es </i>(Yes, yes, so it is).”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We both awkwardly laughed for a moment, then she reached out her hand and asked, “<i>¿Puedo? </i>(May I?)” I handed her the list. She looked at it and said, “<i>Por favor sígame.</i> (Please follow me).”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I followed her around the store while she placed everything I needed into my cart. It took a whole five minutes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Que tal esto?</i> (What about this?) I asked and pointed to the name of the medication on my list.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Deberá ir a la farmacia para eso</i> (You will have to go to the pharmacy for that),” she explained. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay. Thanks,” I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Pero espera, no te vayas todavía</i> (But wait, don’t leave yet),” she said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">I stood there with my arms stiffly crossed. Irma yelled something to her husband about putting the </span><i style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">chuletas de cuerpo de puerco</i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"> back into the freezer, as she grabbed her purse. She slid her hand through my stiffly crossed arm, firmly tucked me close to her side and said, “</span><i style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">Vamonos amiga</i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"> (Let's go).” </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">Click <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2018/03/hopeful-mennonite.html">here</a> to continue reading my story.</span><br />
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Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05633106090296282842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5032771919230839417.post-48436408409490049742018-01-05T09:22:00.001-05:002018-02-01T20:13:21.245-05:00Misfit Mennonite in Mexico<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Continued from <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2017/09/mennonite-girl-problems.html">Mennonite girl problems</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I woke up in the middle of the night from the echoing sound of a coyote howling nearby. <i>My body, tired and aching from all the physical labor of washing the laundry the day before, kept me up.</i> My mind wandered off to a place it had gone many times before. “I should have been born a man.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Those thoughts were never calming enough to allow me to fall back asleep. When I finally heard mom roaming around in the kitchen, I decided to get up right away and test her to see what would happen if I wore my jeans again. When mom’s eyes met mine, she said, “No! Go put on a dress!” I turned around, went and changed into a dress. That was just the beginning of my day, proving my thoughts right. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">While doing chores, I contemplated best ways to convince my mom to let me go to the New Year’s Eve dance with Javier, the Mexican cowboy. I had a feeling that my brothers and many other men from the colony would be at that dance, and they wouldn’t have had to ask anyone. They would just go. My thoughts got very loud and angry. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When my older brother John came inside, I just stared at him, hunched over by the handwashing sink washing the black oil off his hands. I scolded myself, “Anna, don’t hate your brothers just because you aren't one of them!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">While he was drying his hands, he asked if I was enjoying my visit. I just stared at him and said, “Ummm…,” I answered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">That was such an unexpected question. I sensed that John was feeling sorry for me. We stared at each other in awkward silence as I desperately searched for a meaningful answer. It was so complicated I couldn’t answer him</span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">simply.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Hey you know, we just fixed a truck, and we need to take it for a test drive. Would you like to come?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I got all excited and shouted, “YES! I would,” and asked, “Where are we going?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“To <i>Patos</i>. Aka Nuevo Ideal. We want to go and eat <a href="http://www.mexicoinmykitchen.com/2012/11/tripitas-tacos.html">tacos <i>de</i> <i>tripitas</i></a> (beef intestines).”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And just like that my excitement left me, “Ahhh okay, yeah, I’ll still come, but I am not eating <i>tripitas</i>!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Mom giggled as she overheard me say that. I asked her if she had ever eaten <i>tripitas</i>, and she said, “<i>Oba nienich!</i> (Never!)”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We both looked at John, and he said, “You don’t know what you are missing. They are delicious.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“No thanks, I’ll pass,” I said as I followed him out the door to the pickup.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Riding along the highway in the pickup with my brothers was incredible. The experience was indescribable. That never would have happened before I left. It almost brought tears to my eyes. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As soon as John parked beside the taco stand in front of Hotel & Suites Nuevo Ideal, I felt out of place. There was a crowd of very well dressed tall men in shiny shoes surrounding the taco stand. None of them looked Mennonite or the type of Mexican men I had seen before, but then again I had been gone a long time, and I was practically still a kid when I left. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My Low German thoughts decided, “<i>Dot sen utlanshe mana.</i> (Those are outlandish men.)”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">One of the men came over and greeted us right away. He knew my brothers, and he introduced himself to me as El Guero and shook my hand. As he shook my hand, I figured his nickname could be El Guero because his hands were as white as mine and he had blue eyes. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I turned red like a tomato after I heard myself say, “<i>Soy Anna, la hermana.</i> (I’m Anna, the sister)” as I pointed to my brothers. The way I said it, it sounded like the start of a song. I held my breath and awkwardly looked around wishing for that moment to pass already.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>He visitado el taller de Juan muchas veces, pero nunca te había visto antes</i>. (I have visited John's garage many time, but I have never seen you before?)”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="FR-CA" style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Vivo en Canada. Solo estoy de visita por las vacaciones.</i> </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(I live in Canada. I am just visiting for the holidays.)” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="FR-CA" style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>También estoy aquí solo por las vacaciones. Vivo en Indianapolis Minnesota.</i> </span><i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">De acuerdo, eso lo explica. </span></i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(Okay, that explains it.</span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I'm also here just for the holidays. I live in Indiannapolis, Minnesota.)”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">John placed his hands together, rubbed them up and down as he said, “Okay, let's go eat some tacos <i>de</i> <i>tripitas. </i>I’ve been craving them for a long time.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Well, you guys go ahead! Enjoy. I’m staying in here,” I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Not only did I think that I didn’t like tacos de <i>tripitas,</i> I just couldn’t picture myself standing in a group of people on a sidewalk, holding a plate of tacos in one hand while trying to hold a taco in the other and eating it. I pictured nothing but awkwardness and salsa dripping everywhere. I thought, “Oh their shoes! They won't be that shiny when they are done eating. And all that ironing their wives or mothers did for them will be such a waste. What a shame! <i>Ah, kringel!</i> I'm thinking like this because I am not one of those men and I’m quite jealous. But, still, I would need both my hands, free to eat tacos, with lots of napkins by my side.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I stared at<i> </i>El Guero’s shiny shoes as he came walking back toward me in the pickup. I couldn’t figure out how his shoes could stay that shiny in such dry and dusty desert lands.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Anna, why aren’t you ordering tacos?” He asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My English and Spanish got all mixed as I explained to him that I wasn’t hungry and he began speaking English to me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I have invited your brothers to my New Year’s Eve party at <i>mi Rancho</i>. I would love it if you could come too. You see all those people over at the taco stand?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes. You mean all those men?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Ahhh, yes, those are all my friends and family members. They are all coming to the party.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Wow, that sounds like a lot of fun, but I can’t come.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Why not?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Well, because I am a girl, a Mennonite girl. People in the colony would… <i>Ay caramba!</i> I can't even imagine what would happen.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, I know about your people’s strict ways, but Anna, you look like a grown woman to me, and I think you should decide for yourself if you want to come to my party or not. And don’t worry, there will be plenty of women at the party.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, well, ahhh…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Sorry, I didn’t mean to be so forward, but when I heard you say that you are a girl I just couldn’t help myself.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I chuckled and said, “Okay.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Why don’t you come into the hotel lobby? My cousin Paula is in there talking to the chef and making a list of food were going to serve at the party. I’d like to introduce you to her.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Does she speak English?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Ahhh she speaks Spanglish, kinda like you just did. I'm sure you will be able to communicate just fine,” he explained, and we both laughed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I shouldn’t go in there. If the wrong person sees me go in, I will get in big trouble.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, I see how this is going to go,” he said, and suddenly everyone including El Guero and I turned to look at the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in real life, stepping out of the hotel lobby. She looked like one of those telenovela actresses. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Guero!</i></span><i> N</i><i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">ecesito hablar contigo</span></i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> (Guero! I need to talk to you),” She shouted.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Ven aquí Paula </i>(Come here, Paula),” El Guero yelled back at her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Every single eye followed her as she made her way to me. “Anna, meet my cousin Paula,” said El Guero.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">She shook my hand and said, “It’s really nice to meet you, Anna.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Likewise,” I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Anna, it's too hot out here, why don’t you come inside?” asked Paula. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I looked at El Guero, and he winked at me. My heart dropped to my feet as I thought, “Oh no! You didn’t just wink at me!” and just like that, I was accompanied by George in my mind.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I felt so underdressed and embarrassed to be seen in that crowd with my dust-covered shoes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In awe of Paula’s beauty, I followed her and El Guero into the lobby of the hotel. “While you two get acquainted, I will go make us some drinks,” explained El Guero.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay,” Paula said, as she waived her hand gesturing him to leave. She turned back to me and said, “Let me get this straight, you are <i>Juan El Mecánico’s</i> sister?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I am thrilled! Finally, a <i>Menon</i> (Mennonite man) brought a sister along for me to hang out with. Juan <i>El Mecánico</i> just became the coolest <i>Menon</i> in Nuevo Ideal.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay,” I said awkwardly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“So tell me everything about yourself. I have been to your colony many times and how come I have never seen you before?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">After explaining my story to Paula, she hugged me, held on to my shoulders and said, “You really need to come to the New Year’s Eve party, in fact, this party should be dedicated to you for your incredible bravery.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“NO!” I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Paula changed the subject and began telling me about the food she was planning on having the chef make for El Guero’s New Year's Eve party. My mouth was watering, as my desire overwhelmingly blanketed me with the temptation to go to that party.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">El Guero brought Paula and me a drink and sat down beside me. I took a sip of the drink. It tasted almost as good as it felt going down. It made my taste buds sing a happy song in Spanglish. After each sip of the drink, I felt a little braver, and my worries about being seen by the wrong person in that lobby faded further to the back of my mind. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I enjoyed the Spanglish language conversations and was eager to keep them going. It was fun. It made us laugh, and it took the pressure off of me having to pretend that I spoke Spanish.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“What is this drink?” I asked El Guero.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“It's my version of the vampiro.” <u><o:p></o:p></u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Well, it's delicious, thank you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You're welcome. I’m glad you like it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Every once in a while I noticed every man that came from the back room of the lobby seemed to have the sniffles when they came out. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“So, where exactly <i>es tu Rancho?” </i>I asked El Guero.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“It's just a few <i>kilometros fuera de Nuevo Ideal</i> (kilometers outside of Nuevo Ideal) past a few small mountains <i>detrás de una gran montaña. </i>(behind a big mountain)<i> .</i>”<i><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay. <i>So,</i></span><i> </i><i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">entonces el lugar es un secreto? (So the place is a secret?)</span></i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“No, not necessarily. At least not for the ones who know where it is,” he said and winked at me again. I quickly looked away and took the last sip of my drink, and when I looked back up, my younger brother Abram stood beside me. “Okay Anna, it’s time to go now,” he said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I put my cup down and said, “Okay.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“It was really nice to meet you, Anna, and I will see you at the party, yes?” said Paula.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“It was nice to meet you both and thanks for the drink.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“See you at the party, Anna,” said El Guero.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">On the way back to the colony, I talked to my brothers about going to the party. John didn’t seem to mind as much as Abram. He didn’t think that I should be allowed to go. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Why not?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Because you are a woman. That’s why.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Well, and you don’t know those people.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">John said, “I’m going to that party, and if mom says you can go, I’m okay with it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“John, can you help me convince mom to let me go?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Sure,” he answered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Mom will never let you go anyway,” said my younger brother Abram.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“If only I would have been born a man, life would be so much easier for me.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">As John said, “Ummm, I don’t know about that,” I remembered, “Javier! How will I explain to him that I would rather go to this party in the mountains than go to the dance with him?” </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">Click <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2018/02/vamonos-mennonite.html">here</a> to continue reading my story.</span><br />
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Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05633106090296282842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5032771919230839417.post-12991804000962625402017-09-28T09:33:00.000-04:002017-09-28T09:33:22.720-04:00"I was free:" An Ontario woman flees her Mennonite home in the middle of the night<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: large;">Walkerton grad shares her story of escaping</span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="color: #666666;">Sep 14, </span></span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="color: #666666;">2017</span> </span>by <a href="https://www.therecord.com/waterloo-on-author/jonathan-zettel/90ae1118-3938-46db-9e87-340b9caa81df/">Jonathan Zettel</a> </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="color: #666666;">Hamilton Spectator</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span><i style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #7f7f7f; font-size: 8.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #7F7F7F; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: "lumm=50000 lumo=50000"; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: text1; mso-themecolor: text1; mso-themetint: 128;">Emma Drummond - Submitted Photo</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In October of 2015, Emma Drummond left her Orthodox Mennonite community in Gorrie for the modern world. Her aunt and uncle picked her up just after midnight and drove her to their home in Hanover.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Two years later Drummond wrote about her experience for the CBC Nonfiction Prize and was selected alongside 28 others for the long list.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"Growing up in the Mennonite community I was always a little different and didn't have someone to talk to, so I put it into writing," she said during a phone interview. "I did a lot of journaling ... I have this love for books. It's kind of an escape from the real world."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Two weeks after leaving the community, she was enrolled at Sacred Heart High School in Walkerton. This past June she graduated and then moved with her uncle and aunt — Philip and Anne Schuessler — to Waterloo, where she is currently taking a year off school to work at a Swiss Chalet to save up for college where she hopes to study massage therapy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"I was kind of disappointed to not make the shortlist," Drummond said, noting the pool of entries was deep and only five of entries from right across Canada made the shortlist.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The story is titled 'Getaway' and is really the middle, most pivotal part of a longer story that could be made into a book.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"I had a life before and a life after," she said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Drummond explained that the Orthodox Mennonite community she grew up in is similar to the Old Order Mennonites, but much stricter and with no technology of any kind.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"I definitely think there are a lot of misunderstandings between the Mennonite community and modern society," she said. "For someone like me, the Mennonite community would probably be seen as more negative than positive, but that's not to say the Mennonites are not a positive thing."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Drummond pointed to her relationship with her sister.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"It's not that I don't like her or her decision, it's that I don't agree with the philosophy."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">She said the community functions and continues by constantly enforcing a separation from the modern world and the quiet lifestyle, close to nature, can be attractive for some.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"There are a lot of great Mennonites out there," she said. "I want to stay away from classifying them as a good thing or a bad thing. Who am I to judge?"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Drummond said it is hard for her to understand how people can live so closed off from the rest of the world, because she found it hard herself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"But I think some people are genuinely happy to be Mennonite," she said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Over the past two years, Drummond said she is finding it more and more easy to adjust to the new world she's in. She said she is keen on keeping up with world events and enjoys working, although admits it took her a longer than expected to learn.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"As time goes by, the less surprising every new thing is," she said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Editor's note: the following is Emma Drummond's entry into the CBC's Nonfiction Prize. It has been published here with her permission.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Getaway by Emma Drummond<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I snapped a brussel sprout off its stalk and concentrated on carefully harvesting the green knobs. I was helping my married sister before the next family had me in its grasp for maid duty. The bottom of my ankle-length dress was wet from the dew and swished against my rubber boots. I tugged at my kerchief to bring it closer to my forehead. Ruth didn't mind extra exposure of my hair but most Mennonite women would turn a disapproving brow to the display of a girl's immodest hair.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Ruth glanced up. "What are you thinking about?" she demanded. She had this habit of asking me that question at the most unexpected times.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I kept my head bent to conceal my anxiety. "I was just thinking about what quilt to make this winter. I stood up and brushed my faded apron nonchalantly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As Ruth started talking enthusiastically about whether a Trip Around the World would be a better than The Lone Star pattern, I swallowed guilt. Who am I? Am I possessed by the devil? If Ruth had the slightest idea of what I was thinking, she would go screaming off to the bishop for an emergency prayer meeting. So I was keeping a secret. I'd always been a dreamer, keeping thoughts to myself to avoid being burned by fellow Mennonites. I was always inwardly rebelling against the rules of the church but outwardly keeping my feelings tamed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Sunday morning arrived. I ran downstairs to the kitchen and splashed cold water over my face from the basin at the sink.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"Hey Ruth, I was thinking that it would be a great morning for me to walk to church," I suggested, feeling anxious and jittery. Ruth had meandered from her bedroom. My uncle's stolen phone number, scratched onto a scrap of paper, seemed to be crackling like a mindless chicken in my in black coat pocket. My uncle was English, the term Mennonites used for modern people who lived opposing lives to us. Phone calls weren't on our pious Mennonite group's agenda. To make me a shade more evil, the reason for the call was the unthinkable.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Ruth flew into a flutter of excuses for why I should by no means walk to church. I worked too hard. It was the day of rest. I could go with her in her husband's buggy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"I've been looking forward to walking to church all week. I can relate to God better. Being surrounded by nature prepares me for the service," I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">With that reason, she let me out the door while following me out and asking if I was sure that I didn't want a horse to put in the energy for me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"I'm absolutely positive!" I laughed, as though she were silly for even thinking it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I strolled along until I was out of sight then broke into a panicked run. I couldn't waste any time, or I'd be late for church and I would get questioned. I darted into an English driveway, so nervous I saw double. I pushed the doorbell. A young woman came to the door.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"I was wondering if I could make a phone call," I panted.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"Was there an accident?" Her forehead creased with concern.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I tried to be calm and persuasive. "I just want to call my uncle."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">She waved me inside. She pulled out her cellphone from her pocket.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"I don't know how to use a phone," I said. "Here's the number."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">She dialed the number for me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I picked up the phone. I heard a faint mumble. I strained my unaccustomed ear.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"Uncle Philip, are you there?"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"Can you make his voice louder?" I asked, near frenzy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The woman magically tapped and pressed her phone. When she handed it back, Uncle Philip's voice sounded clearly and loudly. Relief washed over me, but only for a second before a fresh bout of butterflies arrived. I now had the opportunity to make the sinful request.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"Yes, who is this?"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"This is your niece, Emma. Remember which one I am? I'm the youngest."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"I know who you are. How's it going?"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"I wanted to ask if you could pick me up sometime in the next two weeks?" I heard my voice crack out the words. My mind refused to enter into the moment. The phone trembled in my hand.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"That would be fine. Any time."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"Actually, could you pick me up tonight at midnight?"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"Are you ready?"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"Of course, I'm all packed."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I asked him the colour of his car. "So don't pick me up before midnight. I will be going to a youth singing first."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I handed the phone to the lady before I dashed out the door.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"I'm running away," I whispered with a shriek of triumph. My feet floated on air. "I can't imagine the shock wave that will hit the community."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Then I groaned. A whole day of putting on a normal act was going to be hard. What if I broke down and cried during the three-hour church service?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The grey-bearded minister preached about the reaping of those who sow. The pine bench hardened under my seat. I tried to keep from fidgeting like a seven-year-old. I looked the minister in his eyes, in case he was trying to make me feel guilty or change my mind. "It's too late now," I thought defiantly to him. "So I will be damned?" I reaffixed the normal look on my face.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-no-proof: yes;">Finally</span><span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> evening arrived. All the youth from sixteen to twenty-two were arriving at the home where the singing was to be held.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">After supper was over and the dishes sat sparkling in the cupboards, the girls went outside to take a walk before the singing began. We ended our walk on a hill. Every now and then a girl would say some boring holy thing, like how we can grow so much from the sermon we heard today. As I stood on the hill, coyotes howled. I shivered. What if I came home late and Uncle Philip would be waiting in his car? Ruth could take me to the bishop or any form of confinement. If I missed my chance tonight, it would be ten times harder to pull it off a second time with owl's eyes staring at my every move.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I trailed the girls back into the house. The singing started. The light from the kerosene lamps failed to reach the hymn book in my lap. I pulled out a flashlight from my pocket to see the words. The girl beside me twitched nervously. I knew that she didn't want attention for having a flashlight on. I stopped caring. Wasn't this my last chance to show everyone what I thought of the senseless rules? I sang earnestly to calm my mind, but my knees insisted on shaking like twigs in a storm. I chose a farewell song, hoping to speed up the ending of the singing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Sometimes a girl chose a farewell song so the boys would get the hint that it was time to quit singing. It didn't work.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I arrived at my sister's house at 11:15. I tiptoed around the house. I set my suitcase outside the door. I took my alarm clock and a flashlight outside with me and sat on the back steps in front of the house, facing the road. I was still wearing my plain blue Sunday dress and freshly starched white head covering. I watched the hands move on the little battery-operated clock and watched every car flash past on the highway. My heart thumped like a horse trotting on a paved road.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Then a grey car crept slowly past the house. I flashed my flashlight. A raw burst of energy made my body forget the toll the day had taken on it. I gave myself over to hope. Hope that my ticket to freedom had arrived.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"If it's Uncle Philip, he'll know what that flash of light means," I thought. Sure enough, the grey car turned around and stopped. The headlights went out. I rushed out to the car as fast as my shaking twigs could take me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Uncle Philip emerged. I felt relieved at the sight of his tall protective figure. "Emma, are you OK?"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"We should hurry. Where should I put my suitcase?" I stared at Ruth's bedroom window. For all I knew she might be staring back at me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"Throw it in the trunk," he replied, sensing my rush.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I did so then awkwardly opened the car door and flopped in the back seat. Aunt Anne was sitting in the front with Uncle Philip. The engine started and the car purred soothingly to my unknown destination.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I loved the speed of the car. "Where do want to go?" Anne asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"I don't know."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"Do you want to stay at our house?"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"If you're OK with that." Living with Aunt Anne and Uncle Philip would be a dream.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"Why did you want to leave?" she asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I hesitated. "I don't want to speak evil of my dad …"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"Did he hurt you?"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"Yes," I replied, relieved she was not surprised. Anne asked what I wanted to do.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"Maybe get a job". I didn't want to admit it, but I had no idea what to do now that I was out of the community. Exactly what did modern people do for a living?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When we pulled into their driveway I had to ask Anne how to open the car door from the inside.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I stepped into their house. Philip and Anne poked light switches to flood the house with bright light. There were holes in the walls for plugs. Photos hung unashamed on the walls. My gaze gravitated toward the phone sitting on a stand of some kind. I shied away from the sofas that primly lined the walls. My eyes searched for something familiar. I settled with the chairs. They were wooden and varnished like the ones back home.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I saw a fancy fruit bowl with a special hook from which bananas hung. "So this is how modern people present the delicacy of a banana," I noted. Philip and Anne led me to a room. The carpeted floor danced before my eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">"This is your room, Emma," Uncle Philip said as though sleeping in a room with furry carpets was no big deal. I wanted to run my hands through the soft carpet, to feel it and become familiar with the intimidating strangeness of it. I was unprepared, yet eager to discover. An overload of emotions swirled dizzily throughout me. I kept expecting my family or the bishop to show up and reprimand me, but I was free.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Walkerton Herald-Times<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05633106090296282842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5032771919230839417.post-75116620293971981742017-09-07T20:44:00.000-04:002018-01-05T09:31:19.775-05:00Mennonite girl problems<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Continued from <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2017/08/still-mennonite.html">Still Mennonite</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The day after the three holidays in a row was a major laundry day. It was the most dreaded day of the week. When I lived at home, I hated that day with a passion. Even worse than the regular Monday. It was exactly the same every time. Before last holiday ended, we would sort beans to cook the next day for lunch because there would be no time to make anything else. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Monday or the day after the three day holiday mornings, all the women in the colony got up earlier than any other day of the week. That was where the women had their chance to shine. It was a fierce competition to see who could get their laundry on the clothes line first. Not only that, but the woman who had the whitest whites on her clothes line first was the winner. She would be considered to be the best wife, mother, and housekeeper in the colony. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I woke up to the sound of the pressure cooker on the stove and smell of beans cooking. I was excited about the day rather than being depressed like I always was when I lived there. I had no other clean clothes to wear except my jeans that I had brought to travel back to Canada in. I put on the jeans, pulled my hair up into a messy ponytail and went straight to mom to explain before she had a chance to give me a lecture about wearing jeans. Surprisingly she just said, “Okay”, and sat down beside me at the table. We bowed our heads, said our mealtime prayer, and enjoyed a nutritious <i><a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2015/02/knox-kuaken.html">knox-kuak</a></i> and instant coffee before the laundry fiasco began. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Some people in the colony had an electric washing machine by then, but my parents still used a manual <i>schtuk</i> machine to do their laundry. When I went outside the sun was just peaking over the mountains and smoke was rising up past the windmills at most homesteads throughout the colony as people were heating water to wash their whites. The air was fresh, crisp, with a smokey smell to it. The cockerels of roosters and the sound of cows mooing echoed across the entire colony. I hadn't realized how much I had missed all of that until that moment. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The neighbor lady to the right worked hard to get ahead of me, and she beat me. She had half a line of whites up before I started hanging our whites. She stared at me a lot, but every time I looked over at her, she quickly looked down, so her hat covered her face. I had grown accustomed to saying hello or good morning to people in Canada. I had an incredible urge to yell ‘good morning’ across the fence. But I was able to control my urge and just carry on with the fierce competition. I was still ahead of the neighbor to our left.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was exhausted by the time I had one load of whites on the </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">clothes </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">line. I went inside, poured myself a cup of water and sat down to drink it as I stared at the nine loads of laundry piled up on the dining room floor, waiting to be washed. My nostalgia suddenly took a turn in a different direction. Sara was busy making </span><i style="font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">tweeback </i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">dough, so Agatha came out and helped keep us in second place with hanging the rest of the whites, but I threw in the towel when it came to the darks. I thought, “Let all the others shine.</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"> I give up.” </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I went back inside again, it was very loud as all the kids were getting up and running around the house. I asked mom, “Do the neighbors have one of those fancy spinner washing machines?” Hoping that the answer would be yes so I felt better about losing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“No, our neighbors on both sides are still using a <i>schtuk</i> machine,” answered mom.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My George influenced brain surfaced and thought “f#ck!” as I scratched my head where my ponytail was pulling my hair, giving me a headache.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I went back outside and continued to move forward with the laundry and imagined the end of that day when I would be able to lay down and go to sleep. But it got better as my brothers came and gave us a hand. My older brother John drove a car up closer to the front of the house that he was to fix that day and put the radio on. When a Ramón Ayala song came on about being alone in the world and wanting to die, goose bumps rose all over my skin. Since I had learned enough Spanish to be able to understand the words of the song, I felt it deep in my bones as I remembered my <i>Fula</i> and my friend Richard. The song reminded me to enjoy the time there with my family as much as I could.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My brothers took turns washing while Agatha and I rinsed wrung and hung the clothes on the line. At that point, I had stopped caring about who was winning or losing. Occasionally we would take a break and sit down under a tree, listening to my brothers talk about what it was like being an extra in a movie with Tom Berenger. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Apparently one of the Mennonite men had decided to quit at the end of a long day of filming and just took off without telling anyone. “The next morning when the director found out, he was livid. He punched a tree, knocked everything over that was set up to film next seen, and cursed really bad words,” explained my brother Abram. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Wow, so what happened?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Well, because he had an important part, they couldn’t just replace him half way through. Filming was put on hold until they could find him and make him come back or they would lose weeks worth of work,” explained Peter.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Did he come back?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, I came back here to the colonies with the director to convince him to come back. The director told me to explain to him that if he didn’t come back, he would have to pay the penalty for breaking a contract that he had signed,” said Peter.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Do you think he even knew what a contract was when he signed it?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“No, he didn’t know. After we had found him, I explained to him what he had signed and that he would have to pay if he didn’t follow through, he decided to come back and finish the job,” explained Peter.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I empathized with that man more than my brothers knew. I too had learned the hard way about signing a contract without fully understanding what I was signing and then having to pay the consequences for it after. Most people from the colonies would have never heard of such a concept. When I signed the rental agreement for my apartment, I had no idea what I was signing. When I got laid off from my job and couldn't pay my rent that’s when I learned that I had signed a twelve-month lease and I couldn't move out before the end of the twelve months. The hardest part was figuring out how to pay rent when I had no income. Luckily I had a neighbor, George, who always came to my rescue and helped me figure it out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I bet these film people were happy to have that many people willing to work on the movie set, but they probably had no idea how little the Mennonites knew about contracts and stuff like that,” I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yeah. The director often asked, ‘Who are you people and why are you living here in the Mexico desert?’”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I bet,” I answered as we got up and continued with our laundry. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">By lunchtime, we had two loads of laundry left to wash, rinse and hang. But then we still had to take all the laundry off the lines, bring it inside, fold it, iron the pleats back into our dresses and put it all away. I sat at the table and let out a big sigh just thinking about all the work we still had ahead of us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Lunch was so good. Sara had baked fresh <i>tweeback</i> and made my favorite salsa to add to the beans. I missed George as the meal reminded me of the day that he came over while I was wearing my beautiful ‘purple dress’, and I ended up serving him the same meal we were eating.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">After lunch, Agatha stayed inside to help Maria do the dishes, while the rest of us went back outside to finish washing the rest of the laundry. We had one load left to hang on the line when Javier, my new cowboy friend came over to have his pickup serviced by my brothers. When he stepped out of his pickup he looked right at me, smiled, and greeted me by taking off his cowboy hat and bowing before me as he said, “Anita.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I blushed and quickly continued working so no one would notice my flushed cheeks. I suddenly realized how hot the afternoon sun had gotten. I hung laundry on the line trying to act like a ‘good <i>Dietsch </i>girl’ who wasn’t bothered by that at all. My thoughts went to a place of anger again as I thought about the fact that a visit from someone like Aaron Neudorf would be perfectly acceptable, but not someone like George or Javier all because they were both not <i>Dietsch</i>. Thinking about George made me feel guilty for the attraction I was feeling for the tall, incredibly handsome, olive skinned cowboy. I allowed my mind to imagine dancing with him at the dance he had invited me to in Nuevo Ideal on New Year's Eve.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I tried to talk myself out of even considering going to the dance with Javier. When I thought only about myself, I had a really hard time coming up with a good enough reason not to go. But considering that the entire colony would be against it and that mom would never hear the end of it was almost enough to crush the idea. I knew George well enough to know what he would say</span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">if I were to ask him what to do, “Anna, go experience and live the shit out of life,” like he said when Sam asked me out on a date. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The idea of spending more time with Javier was growing on me especially after I experienced his company on my lonely holiday. After my visit to the mountain, I could tell him that I understood that feeling he told me about being separated from one's soul. I wanted him to know that telling me about it helped me put words to what I was experiencing. I wanted him to know how much I appreciated that he felt comfortable enough to tell me about that. I carefully considered how I would explain my version of that feeling to him. Even though it made perfect sense in my mind, I knew that I might not have the vocabulary to voice it. But since Javier spoke both English and Spanish I thought if I combined the two I just might be able to transfer it into words that only he would understand.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">I decided right then and there that I would definitely never be able to express something like that in <i>Dietsch</i>. I knew that if I would even attempt to try and explain that to someone in <i>Dietsch</i>, that I would probably be put on the next bus to a special hospital in Durango city to deal with my nerve problems once in for all. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">Click <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2018/01/misfit-mennonite-in-mexico.html">here</a> to continue reading my story.</span><br />
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Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05633106090296282842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5032771919230839417.post-6515529117150488062017-08-17T10:34:00.000-04:002017-09-08T19:42:16.205-04:00Still Mennonite<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Continued from <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2017/07/a-mennonite-basket-case.html">A Mennonite basket case</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The next day was the last holiday. My parents had nothing planned for the day, so mom suggested we take the horse and buggy and go have a picnic in the mountains behind the colony. Everyone loved that idea except my older brothers. They had other plans.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">At that point, the horse and buggy had become somewhat of a lazy Sunday type of transportation. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My sisters decided to come along and spend the day with me instead of hanging out with their youth group again. We all pitched in, packed a lunch, and <i>faspa</i> for the picnic, and off we went on a two-hour buggy ride through the colony to the mountains. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The sun shone brightly on my face, and it made my eyes water as we passed the fence where I had fought off Aaron Newdorf with a mason jar many times. My heart began pounding inside my chest, and it got worse as we passed the Neudorf farm. Finally, I got brave enough and asked my sister, “Sara, do you know if Aaron Neudorf moved away?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My heart sank when she answered, “He went to work in Chihuahua, but he came back for the holidays. He just doesn't stay in the colony much anymore. He mostly hangs out with <i>Mexa</i>. We see him come home once in a while.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I tried to act neutral so she wouldn’t notice my growing anxiety when I asked, “Where does he go when he goes with the <i>Mexa?</i>”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Potes</i> (Nuevo Ideal) mostly, I think.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Oh yeah, I almost forgot to tell you, Aaron’s sister Agnes told me to say hi to you. She said that she would love to see you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, really, she wants to see me?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Did she get baptized yet?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“No, not yet, she was going to, but then all the ministers left, and there was no baptism this year. Anyone who wants to get baptized in the new year will have to go to <a href="http://gameo.org/index.php?title=Zacatecas_Colonies_(La_Batea,_La_Honda,_Campeche,_Mexico)">La Honda, Zacatecas.</a>”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Wow, yeah that’s going to be interesting how that will work.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yeah.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Does she have a boyfriend?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, but you don’t know him. He's from a colony far past <i>Potes</i>.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Oh okay.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When we finally arrived at the mountains, it was lunch time. My sister spread a blanket out on the ground, while mom and I got the food out. We sat down in a circle, and when we all bowed our heads to say our mealtime prayer, aside from the echoing caw sounds of the crows soaring above us, it was quiet. It felt like we were the only people on the planet. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The breathtaking view of the landscape and the crows gliding around in circles in the clear blue sky made it hard for me to continue to worry about having to face Aaron Neudorf at some point.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">After packing up the leftover food, my sisters and I wandered around exploring the area. As I looked up at the gliding crows, I asked my sister, “Do you think anyone has ever climbed to the top of that mountain?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Our brothers have, but I'm not sure if they climbed all the way to the top, though.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Do you think we could climb all the way to the top?” I asked.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Ahhh, I think we could, but it would be dangerous, there could be snakes, scorpions, tarantulas, and… ah, more snakes.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I would love to climb all the way to the top, wouldn't you?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Ah, yeah, but…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Let's ask mom and see what she says,” I suggested. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I presented the idea to mom, and she said, “Okay, but only you, Sara, Agatha, and Jacob. The rest of the kids have to stay here with me. Just be careful--there could be snakes.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, yes, we’ll be careful,” I answered, and off we went, climbing the mountain.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">There were some steep areas that were difficult to climb. As we climbed further up, there were shrubs, bushes, and cactuses with extremely sharp thorns that were hard to climb past, especially in a dress. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When we finally reached the top, I turned around to look at the view. It was the most beautiful view I had ever seen. You could see the entire colony from up there. All those windmills looking back at me suddenly didn’t feel so intimidating anymore. They looked so tiny and insignificant from up there. Looking down at the horse in front of the buggy, the horse looked like an ant. I felt amazingly powerful up there. I thought, “Finally, I have done it. I have gone where no man has gone before.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Look, there’s a hole on the side of the mountain over there,” shouted Jacob. “Let's go see it,” he said as he began climbing the side of the mountain.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Sara, Agatha and I followed him. As we got closer to the whole, the view got even better. You could see Lake Santiaguillo from up there. It was breathtaking. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Upon approaching the cave, I was disappointed to discover that others had climbed that mountain before us. The evidence spoke for itself. There were a couple of beer bottles lying around a fire pit. Inside, in the middle of the cave, was a big rock that served as a table. Around the big rock were smaller rocks that had been used as chairs to sit on. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As my siblings went exploring the cave, I stood there alone with my thoughts, looking down at the view from the cave, admiring the crows gliding so close above me, breathing in that fresh air, and feeling the warmth of the Mexican sun on my back. Words couldn’t explain the feeling. It was like I was having an out-of-body experience. I was standing on top of a mountain in the country where I was born, surrounded by my family, my colony, my childhood memories, and, of course, memories of Aaron. But up there, I didn’t feel trapped by any of that. I felt free. Free like the crows I admired soaring so effortlessly in the sky, superior to all the windmills that had haunted me for so long. It was like the crows were telling me that my <i>Fula</i> was as free as they were and that it was okay for me to let go. That’s when I knew that feeling that my new friend, Javier the cowboy, was trying to explain to me, about being reunited with your soul. I didn’t have the vocabulary to process that in my thoughts, but I felt it deep in my bones. And that’s when I knew that I could never say goodbye to Mexico forever, because that would mean that I, too, would be separated from my soul, as Javier described. I suddenly got the shivers and felt very cold.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I went to join my siblings in the cave and said, “This would be an awesome place to camp, don’t you think?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You mean, stay for the night and sleep here?” asked Agatha.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Ah… but there are snakes, scorpions, and tarantulas out here.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I haven't seen any. Have you?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“No, but they would probably sneak up on you at night when you are sleeping.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I envisioned waking up to a snake crawling on me, and that was the end of that idea. “Okay, let's make our way back down,” I suggested.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The way down was much faster and easier. When we got back down, dad had made a fire to heat water for coffee. We all sat quietly in the shade under a bush and had <i>faspa</i> before heading back to the colony. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It was the best day I had ever experienced in Mexico. In Canada, <i>faspa</i> had become a story I told someone who asked me about life in the colony. I hadn't realized how much I had missed it until that day, and I was able to figure out some more important things as I combined my experiences growing up with what I had learned while in Canada. I decided that for me, <i>faspa</i> was not about a cup of instant coffee, sugar cubes, <i>tweeback,</i> and pastries. It was about the people you shared it with, even if you didn’t see eye to eye on things with them. It was about just being able to set aside those difference and be still in each others’ presence while enjoying <i>faspa</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">On that long, quiet buggy ride back to the colony, with my new-found hope for life in Mexico, I imagined how I could combine more of my two worlds. I imagined how I could place my imaginary boyfriend George into the colony setting. I began imagining life in the colony during <i>faspa</i> with George by my side. My thoughts became very loud as I allowed them to go way too far. I thought, “If George would get a haircut, I could put a long sleeve plaid shirt on him, button it all the way up to hide his tattoos, and tuck it into his jeans, and if I could keep him from getting frustrated, it could work.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I knew better than even to think up such an idea. Setting aside imagining my family's reactions to him as my partner, I envisioned it anyway, and this is how it went. We were all sitting in a circle having <i>faspa </i>at the mountains we were just at. My new favorite place in the world. I imagined it so beautifully: George would be smiling, enjoying a <i>tweeback,</i> and every time I looked at him he would wink at me, sending shivers down my spine as always. But suddenly in my imagination, things took a turn toward reality. George got up, ripped the plaid shirt open, buttons flying everywhere, landing in our instant coffees, on top of our pastries. He pulled his arms out of the sleeves, revealing all his tattoos, bunched the shirt up into a ball, threw it into the fire and said, “F#ck this shit! It’s way too f#cking hot to be dressed like this.” He walked toward his Harley, hopped on, turned to me and said, “Let's get the f#ck out of here, and go explore this beautiful country.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was sitting there frozen and torn between him and my family.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Well, are you coming, babe?” asked George.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I just couldn’t resist. I dropped my coffee, hopped onto the back of his motorcycle, wrapping my arms around his bare waist, and we took off, leaving my family in the dust.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was so deep in my head, imagining, that I didn’t even realize I was smiling ear to ear. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Woarum kiks du so shaftich?</i> (Why are you smiling so much?)” asked Sara. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Oh nush</i>, (oh nothing.) I just had a really good day with you guys. Thanks for climbing the mountain with me.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Jo, me gink dot uk sea scheen. </i>(Yeah, I also had a really good time.)”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Are you sure that it isn't because of who is in that truck coming toward us?” asked Sara.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Ah… who is that?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“That truck that is coming toward us, that’s Aaron Neudorf,” she answered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My surreal imagination and happy thoughts vanished into the dust trail behind us as I processed the words I heard Sara speak. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When the truck came closer, I tried to pretend that I didn’t see him, and acted as if I couldn’t care less. But the closer the truck came the less control I had over my pounding heart. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I caught a glimpse of Aaron’s face, it didn’t even look like him. He had aged about ten years since I had run into him at the club in Canada. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He was wearing a baseball cap and had his left elbow sticking out of the window. When the buggy slowly made its way past him, I noticed that the shirt he was wearing was very similar to the one that I had just imagined George in. He looked right at me as he passed us and waved. Seeing him that close made me want to jump out of my skin. I thought, “When we get back to the house, I will have to put a mason jar in my purse again.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">When we got back to my parents’ house, I helped unload the buggy. When I carried leftover food into the </span><i style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">cuma,</i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"> I grabbed a mason jar and put it into my purse. I suddenly felt incredibly weak. I couldn’t figure out if it were exhaustion from climbing the mountain or the Aaron Neudorf </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">mason</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"> jar ordeal. I took a few deep breaths, drank a cup of cold </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">well<span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">water and accompanied my siblings as they went to feed the animals. Again, when we were feeding the pigs, I thought about Aaron Neudorf. I couldn't get the image of him out of my mind. Especially after seeing him wearing a similar shirt that I had imagined on George. Incredible guilt washed over me, and I scolded myself, “Anna, how could you betray your friend George like that?” I told myself never to dress George in a plaid shirt again, not even in my imagination. </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Click <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2017/09/mennonite-girl-problems.html">here</a> to continue reading my story.</span><br />
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Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05633106090296282842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5032771919230839417.post-53934369508690566802017-07-20T20:58:00.000-04:002017-08-17T10:36:59.897-04:00A Mennonite basket case<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Continued from <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2017/06/dead-butterflies-in-mexico.html">Dead butterflies in Mexico</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“How long are you visiting?” he asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Two weeks.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yeah, I’m just visiting too. I’m going back to work in Texas, a couple of days after New Years. I don’t want to leave. Every time I leave<i> Mi Ranchito</i>, it's as if my body separates from my soul and we never reunite until I return, you know.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I giggled awkwardly, I didn't fully understand the words he was saying, but I knew and felt exactly what he meant. But my conscience wouldn't fully allow me to enjoy that feeling of connecting with another human being. My mind kept wandering off, “I really hope no one sees this, if the wrong person sees me talking to him, the rumors will get to my mom.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“How's your drink?” he asked. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“It’s great. Thank you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Would you like another one?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes sure, I would love another one, thank you,” I answered as I thought, “Anna! You really shouldn’t.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As he got up and walked to his truck, I thought, “So much has changed, maybe people don’t gossip as much anymore. Maybe I could allow myself to enjoy this experience. I’m not doing anything wrong. I'm just talking to a person.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I stared at his cowboy boots as he walked back toward me with the drink, “<i>Aquí está, </i>enjoy,” he said as he handed me the drink.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Gracias</i>.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“You know <i>Anita</i>, there is going to be a dance in Nuevo Ideal on New Years Eav, and I would like nothing more than to take you to that dance.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I giggled and said, “Oh no, I can't dance, and that would be even worse than going to a <i>coliadera</i>.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Don’t worry about that. I can I teach you.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I don’t think that is possible.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Tell me, <i>Anita</i>, why are the men of the colony allowed to go to a dance, but not the women?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Ahhh… good question. One that I've been asking for a very long time, and that no one will answer. Do you remember when there was a wedding reception at the barn on the apple orchard outside of the colony?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, that was my cousin's wedding, I was there.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Really? You were there?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“My brothers and their friends went to the reception. I wanted to go so badly, but there was no way that I could convince my parents to allow me to go.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“That would have been awesome. Did your parents give you a reason why you weren't allowed, and your brothers were?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Yes, it was the same as always, that <i>Dietsch</i> women don’t belong in places like that. And that was it. I remember sitting right there at the end of the driveway listening to the music and wondering what it would be like to be there.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“But, it's not too late you can still experience it, on New Years Eav.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I don’t think that part has changed here.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“We could dress you up in my sister's clothes to disguise you,” he said, and we both laughed as we sipped away at our drinks.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Great idea, but I have tried that already, in Canada, and it didn’t work. People still recognized me. I think it’s my teeth that gave me away. Even if a disguise worked, I wouldn’t be able to laugh or smile, so what would be the point?” As I heard myself say that I laughed, but a tear snuck its way down my cheek.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I quickly changed the subject and asked if any of the men from the colony had danced at that wedding reception, so he wouldn’t notice me wiping the tears off my face. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Anita!</i> You have a beautiful smile, and there is nothing wrong with your teeth. No, they all just watched from a distance. But they ate with us.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I remember, my brother, bringing home a jar of leftover Pico de Gallo from the reception. That’s when we learned the difference between cilantro and parsley. Most of my family didn’t like the salsa because of the cilantro in it. I remember thinking, “Yes, it's very different, but I like it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Eso no es justo,</i> (That’s not fair.)”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I know, we should have tried cilantro way before that.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“No, no, not the cilantro. It's so unfair that the men are allowed to do so much more than the women.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I said, “Yes, I know, and now they are even allowed to work in movies. I want to do that! Man, I wish I could do that,” I said as I started hopelessly across the desert. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Well, maybe someday you will have that opportunity. I’ll bet you would be great at it. I think a movie about your life would make a <i>muy fascinante,</i> (very fascinating) one.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I giggled as I tried to come up with a response and ended with nothing but a moment of awkward silence. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He got up and said, “<i>Bueno, pues ya me tengo que ir.</i> (Well, I have to go.)”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was relieved and sad at the same time. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“<i>Gracias por las bebidas,</i> (Thank you for the drinks.) I replied.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I watched him drive off across the desert, leaving a trail of dust behind him. When I couldn’t see him anymore, I finished the drink. Then I went to the outhouse and dumped the disposable cup in there, so there would be no evidence of it left behind for me to explain to my family.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When my sisters came home, I helped them feed the chickens and the pigs. While feeding the pigs, all I could think about was, “Where the heck is Aaron Neudorf?” But I didn’t want to ask about him because I wasn’t ready to answer the questions that would follow. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When my parent came home, we warmed up leftovers for supper, ate and quickly did the dishes, so my sisters could meet up with their youth group again. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Mom said, “Susana and Isaac are coming over for lunch tomorrow, what should we make, <i>caldillo, kumst borscht,</i> or noodle soup?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I yelled, “<i>Komstborscht!</i>” before mom was able to finish her sentence. Finally, I would be able to eat <i>kumst borscht</i>. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Okay, we will make <i>kumst borscht</i>,” said mom.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The next day when I stood by the stove, stirring the borscht, I felt like I was living the dream I had when George came to pick me up with his Harly and took me to Mexico City. I couldn't help but wishfully listen for the sound of a Harly nearby. But there was no sound that was even close to that of a Harly. The only sounds surrounding us were the</span> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">clip-clopping sounds of horses and buggies. One of the buggies was coming closer and closer. It was my sister and her family.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I followed mom out to the buggy to greet my sister. She handed mom her baby, got off the buggy and came to shake my hand. It was awkward, neither one of us made eye contact or knew what to say to the another. Her two boys sitting on the back of the buggy didn’t want to get off because they didn’t know me. My sister Maria came to the rescue and talked the boys into going with her to let the chickens out of the coop.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">After I had eaten a couple of bowls of <i>kumst borscht</i> surrounded by my family, I felt like part of me was complete again. I could finally put to rest at least that one piece of guilt I had such a hard time letting go of. I realized for the first time that it was never about the half eaten bowl of <i>kumst borscht</i> I had had left behind that was hunting me, it was what it represented. It made perfect sense in my head.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My torn feelings became clearer yet more confusing at the same time, as my deja vu continued all day. Just like in my dream, we sat under a tree and <i>knocked sut</i> (ate sunflower seeds). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I sat there and listened to my family talk about how the drought in Mexico had led to the level of poverty people were living in. More and more men were jailed because of getting involved with the drug cartels. Those were some of the reasons why the Mennonites were pushing so hard for a change. That, and to make it easier to maintain their way of life in Mexico. But that had led to the decision that the leaders of the church had made. The leaders felt that they had to leave in order to maintain the lifestyle as they had when they first moved to Durango. They felt that they had no choice but to leave the land where they felt threatened and go to another where they could live separate from the influences of the world. Life for the people left behind in the colonies was hopeless. I could see the toll that it had taken on people, especially my sister, who was worried about the future for her children growing up in that. Her husband Isaac expressed his thoughts about moving to Canada, but my sister felt that it wouldn't be better and one of the reasons was her fear of sending her children to public school.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As the discussion continued, I thought to myself, “We are all in the same boat heading toward Posen Land, but we will never get there without an education.” At that moment I was so sure that I had made the right decision and was doing the right thing. I felt so good about the progress I had made, and I had the people in Canada to thank for pushing me to go to school. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I understood that hopelessness, and it frustrated the heck out of me that I had an answer to that, but I couldn't voice it. And even if I could I didn’t have the vocabulary to express it in a way that I could make people see what I saw. It took a long time for me to be convinced that school was the answer. I had my doubts, but at the same time, I had no one close by telling me all the reasons why I shouldn’t go to school. I was surrounded only by people that told me the reasons why it was the answer to a better future. That was one of the reasons I had been able to learn one word at a time and stick with it no matter how much hopelessness I carried around with me while I was doing it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In the midst of all the clutter floating around in my head, I was experiencing a</span>n<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> epiphany… a </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">feeling of knowing the answer to something bigger than all of us. It gave me the shivers. I didn’t understand it or know what to do with it. It was like I had been handed a basket with all of the puzzle pieces in it, which had the meaning of all the dreams behind my continuous journey to Posen Land. All the answers were on the puzzle pieces including the reason why I was born into that specific family, at that specific time. And all the guilt of feeling like I had screwed up to the point of no return, were lessons I was meant to learn for a reason. I had it all right there in my possession, all I had to do was put it all together. I freaked out. I dropped it and wrote it off like all of my nerve problems together in one basket, and at that moment I concluded that I really was a basket case.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Later that night, after a couple more of bowls of kumst borscht, I had some quiet time to look into my basket again, and I came up with a real mature idea. I thought to myself, “Anna, you know important stuff now, a lot of very important stuff, but if you can't use that stuff to help people, what's the point of knowing all this stuff?” and that feeling of having an epiphany slipped away from me as I headed back toward Posen Land again. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">Click <a href="http://www.mennopolitan.com/2017/08/still-mennonite.html">here</a> to continue reading my story.</span><br />
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Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05633106090296282842noreply@blogger.com0